Recent forum posts (all topics)

My life is very much about my husband and not about me. I hate it, but, with no job, I can't see a way out.

He has to have everything in our life that's good. He lost his cell, he took mine. When I got home, I got a call from the bank that he'd left it there, which means he can't get it until Monday. (Thankfully, we haven't dropped our lineline like so many people do. You can't lose that.)

Hi Melissa, This is my first attempt on this forum. My boy friend has ADHD and I learned a lot from your book; it has become my lifeline to save our relationship! Thank you so much for all the effort you have been making for others; it's incredible; I realize that it is very important to feel hopeful about the success of relationship while you are making effort to work on the issue of "ADHD effect". However, I am struggling with it and I can't find a way to feel more positive! Can you suggest some ideas?

Something my ADHD boyfriend was very sensitive about was people saying he wasn't listening; he'd heard it all his life.  What I noticed was that days after we'd had a conversation I was sure he wasn't listening to he'd quote something back.  He was listening.  He just wasn't giving me reason to believe he was.  One day when he was irate about someone yet again saying he wasn't listening I asked him what he did to let them know he was listening.  He tilted his head like "huh" and I told him people need feedback to know you're listening.  Because he is so busy in his own head during convers

I read Melissa Orlov's book, "The ADHD Effect on Marriage" a few weeks ago.  I gained a whole new appreciation and empathy for my Non-ADHD husband and what it has been like for him to be married to me for the past 18 years!  I was diagnosed about 2 years ago, but I have struggled to get my husband to show much interest in learning about my condition.  I really wanted him to read the book too so that hopefully he could understand the reasons for his own frustrations and maybe also develop some empathy for what it's like for me to live with ADHD every day of my life.  

I have been with my partner for 3 years (I am the non-ADHD partner).  He has known since he was a child that he had ADHD and was medicated for it at a young age but stopped taking medication up until about a month ago.  At first he seemed so charming and great with my children, understanding and fun and spontaneous.

For the past several months, I was involved with a man who had been diagnosed with ADHD not long prior to our meeting one another. He initially presented as a well-adjusted, educated, self-aware man who had just happened to have experienced a number of challenging life experiences in his adult life. However, over the course of my relationship with him, it became more and more apparent that his ADHD traits were taking over the relationship despite my best efforts to understand his newly minted diagnosis.

Hi again. I started the topic "Wife-Moving-Out" ( http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/wife-moving-out-now#comment-14875 ) some time ago. I said I would close that topic because at that time we were planning on ending the separation on 5/1/2011.

I'm 61 and have been in therapy for over 50 years.  It didn't work.

I had no friends, had tics, was chronically depressed, creative, high intelligence - yet not doing well at school.  Subsequentially, with work.

At 58 (after being fired from my last job) I was formally diagnosed with ADHD.  Later, that was augmented to include OCD and Asperger's, along with mild NVLD.

Looking back, this explains why I could only hold a job for two years; and why 'standard' talk therapy didn't help.

Last weekend I had 2 setbacks: