Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm rather new to the discussion, but here goes..

I've been married 10 years to a wonderful woman. She's highly organized, and I am highly not! ;) I have read Melissa's book, and see myself clearly. My wife brought this to my attention, and finally got the nerve to share with me...she thought I would be upset.  I have met with a counselor, and done some preliminary testing, and results do NOT show ADD. Whether I have it or not, the symptoms and behaviors are the same. So - a couple of thoughts:

Why does it feel as though my husband with ADHD can't see beyond himself?  I feel very controlled and very unheard. 

I am new to this website and can relate to many of the issues described here, but need help. My fiance (or ex fiance, we broke up two days ago) is ADD and is on Ritalin. He sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis.

I have read clinical descriptions of ADHD symptoms and never considered that my husband could actually have ADHD until I read some of the descriptions in this forum. He has a remarkable ability to both consume and retain everything he reads. He has an advanced degree and until recently, an executive title. He has worked in the same industry for decades with a stable employment record. I attributed his behavior to the stress of his position, and other factors in our lives, but since he lost his job - nearly a year ago now - his behavior has become more aberrant.

The ADHD Effect on Marriage is a perfect reflection of our marriage. As I read the book, it seems as though Melissa Orlov was looking at our marriage when she wrote the book. My wife is the ADHD spouse and she was diagnosed with ADHD for the last 12 years. The diagnosis came after having 4 psychiatrist and 2 cases of post partum cases. Also, we used 4 marriage counselors to help correct our marriage troubles. However, different counselors were used because she did not want to agree with the fact that her ADHD could not be used as an excuse to be unproductive.

From what I am reading, if my ADHD spouse leaves chores undone and I pick up the slack, I'm enabling.  

In reality, if the chores aren't done, then I go crazy living in a cluttered, dirty house.  I need to wake up to an empty sink, clean clothes put away, toys picked up, etc, or I feel like I am behind the 8-ball before I even get dressed.

Which is the lesser of the two evils?

I'm reading Melissa's book and reading the posts here and this one has me scratching my head.

In the interest of my mental and physical health I have decided that I need to care for myself rather than spend all my time supporting my partner.  I am emotionally and physically exhausted and can relate to almost all of the non-ADHD spouses.  I am just going to talk business here since describing the details will just make me more frustrated with what I have lived through thus far.  I am the breadwinner, my husband barely works and only on his own "projects" selling woodworking pieces here and there - but of course the start up costs have been way more than he has ever made.  He has al

I'm the non-ADHD spouse. Right now we are just engaged. We have been so for a year now. She has been unable to decide on a wedding date, time, place. We have been together for over 3 years now. Like many of us I was overwhelmed and enchanted by how she viewed me the first few months, they were idyllic. But over time I've lost her attention. I don't know how many times I've started arguments just to get her attention. I have had horrible stress the past few months because I am moving from one company to another, a move I need to make to help us pay the bills and have a good life.

I found this site when I googled "irresponsible husband." I'm so angry and full of frustration over my husband's behavior. I've long suspected he has ADHD, but he will not see any type of doctor, so there is no way to know. It has been so helpful for me to read many of your posts and to feel I am not alone.

I am new to this so I will try not to ramble too much. I am definitely an ADHD spouse, but not so much on the 'H'. I was officially diagnosed last september, though I always knew there was something. I guess over the years I just learned on my own to, for the most part, manage the symptoms myself, but could just never get control of the focus part. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and most of it has been pretty rough. We have both said and done mean things, and created a lot of damage to each other.