Recent forum posts (all topics)

Good day Doctors.

I'm the non ADDer in this relationship.  I've searched this website and forum and other places to learn "coping mechanisms", but to no avail.   I really need to hear back with real and effective ways of coping, to help prevent flashpoints.

I had found a website that explains the seven most common flashpoints for spouses of ADDers.   It is located at this website:

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/1736.html

In a recent "Marriage Tip" email Melissa sent, she warns "If you are in one of those relationships where eye-rolling and other non-verbal dismissal cues are used, watch out!"  My wife sent me an email after reading it that said - "I think Melissa was directing this at the person with ADD, because if the person without ADD used non-verbal cues, the person with ADD wouldn't even notice it."

I have read so many posts here over the past couple of days and so many of them could have been written by me that's it's scary and at the same time a big relief just to have a possible answer to these multiple problems.

We have been married for nine years, we have an eight year old daughter and five year old son together, I have a 17 year old son from my first marriage and my husband has a 16 year old son from his first marriage. All children live with us. I'm 35 and my husband is 43.

Works also for ADDers I think ...

The difference between the male and female brain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ9L9YBJkk8

How to get your hubby to do what you want:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ccJeRh_UzI

Ask more than once:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwBKIQ__q7Q

Judging the intentions of his heart

Yesterday I was working on disaster relief for flooding in a nearby city with my ADD husband and a good friend who I'm sure is at least ADD but I believe has AD/HD.  If I remember correctly we had a discussion (he and his wife and I and my husband) about ADD a couple years ago when my husband was diagnosed.

We were laughingly discussing division of labor at home and how when everyone in the house is busy, it is hard to get everything done esp when you have a mate that literally doesn't see things that need to be done right in front of him.

I just wanted to share that my wife has (finally) heard me that we need help, and we just started working with someone who has experience working woth couples where one of the partners has ADHD.  I feel like one of the lucky ones!

Dear Readers,

This may not be the proper place to post about this, but it's a major source of frustration for me, plus it's depressing.

My house is a major mess. After everything I've read about ADHD I guess it's no surprise.

Some months ago, I started to post here, when I was coping with the failure of my relationship.  

I told my experience in two threads, so I will not repeat any of it:
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/lowering-my-own-standards-accomodate...
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/add-and-selfishness