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I am 29 years old and I have been married to my ADD/ADHD husband (31 years old) for 7 years now, we have 1 kid together (6) and I have a daughter (10), those kids love him to death, I am in love with him in spite of the fact that he has left us 5 times, the last one lasted one year of separation, now he wants to leave us again, we are crushed...

Hello again all you good people.

I have lost 75+ pounds, to date, since October 2008. I have been in a loosing battle of the bulge most of my life. I was in the first year of a new job, and stress levels were building up in me, so I went to my GP and he put me on an anti-depressant. The Zoloft seemed to help for a month or so, then I was not really sure. I began loosing weight, because of stress mostly, and then anxiety began to follow. In April of 2009 I was sent to a Psychiatrist and the ADHD was diagnosed. At this point I had lost around 40 pounds.

Drat.  I lost it again.  I got so angry I yelled at my ADD wife at the top of my lungs.  It was because I am so frustrated that she misunderstands ME.  For one thing, she keeps saying that I blame ALL our problems on the ADD.  I keep telling her I don't - that I think ADD is the cause of maybe 40% of our problems.  No matter how many times I tell her this, when she gets frustrated, she says "You think ADD is the cause of all our problems." 

After fight number... humm let's see, no I can't tell you because I have lost count it has been so frequent,  my husband's final words to me were, "all I want you to do is read the book".  So a trip to the book store and several online hours later here I am at Dr. Hallowell and Ms. Orlov's door, hoping and praying there is a light in this tunnel and that something is going to help me find the patience to deal and accept that my husband has this diagnosis.

All progress for us has stopped. I am trying so hard to accept that, as the spouse of an ADDer, I do not matter. All is about him, his meds, his needs, how I speak to him so as not to damage his self-esteem, etc. No one takes care of me. No one cares if I have to climb in and out of my car from the passenger's side because we can't afford to fix my car, and never will.

My husband was diagnosed about six months ago, and has been taking meds, which seems to help.  We have been on a bit of a rollercoaster ride since then - coming to grips with this has not been easy on both of us (not least because for about a year before the diagnosis, I was at my wits' end, and wondering how much more of the marriage I could take). 

that most of this is miscommunication. I have this boyfriend that I put on a pedestal, or so I do in my eyes. I'm scared he's forgotten me up there. I've been uncontrollable, and in fits of terror and paranoia, I've said things I don't mean. And I've gotten him to the point where he is angry and I don't think he likes me anymore. And I want to say that I promise, how you see me, maybe alot of it is this ADD, but I promise some of it is miscommunication.

Manhattan Adult ADD Support Group Hosts Career Seminar With Author/Entrepreneur Michael Laskoff

MAADD Support Group hosts Michael Laskoff, author of Landing on the Right Side of Your Ass: A Survival Guide for the Recently Unemployed, from 6:15 to 9 p.m. June 10 at Seafarers & International House, 123 East 15th Street, NYC

While Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder has been known to cause complications finding and maintaining work, there are some tips to combat the difficulties.

I would like to vote for more careful commenting, for example, not haphazardly stating a forum member's possible medical detail, which may in fact be false. I move fast, and I know I've made mistakes in my wording, but I do try to identify when I'm quoting someone (by using quotation marks) and when I'm writing my opinion or perception.