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I am 22 years old and although im not married to my boyfriend yet, we live together. He has adhd. I didn't know of his diease until after we started dating. He was 28 and I was 19 and i was until the impression that since he was older, he would be more mature. I slowly started to realize he was slightly inappropriate and a little mean at times. This behaviour only became increasingly worse. By the time i found out he has adhd i was already in love, and pain. I didn't know and still don't what to do at all. He sometimes calls me names then says later he doesnt remember doing it.

I am wondering if others have noticed that when the ADD person in a relationship gets the other person upset, angry, etc. He/she has a slight smile. 

It seems to me that he is enjoying himself (a) because he caused me upsetness; and (b) because he likes seeing me that way.

When this happens in my relationship my anger is very hard to control: I could hit him really. This and his defensiveness are the worst symptoms of his ADD for me.

I would be most interested to know about the feelings that others have when the 'secret smile' occurs in the other.

Hi,

I have been reading this site for about a year I think and I want to thank all of you for sharing your insights and experiences. I honestly don't know what I would do without you. 

Two years ago my husband and I got married -- me for the second time, he for the third. We are both in our mid-50s. 

Well I have finally come to terms that my wife is not going to be able to deal whith my adhd and I dont blame her, But to have to find out that she was having a affair and that she seem's to think its no big problem even though the divorce isnt finaly is really a killer to me.   I still love her but I guess I understand why she must move on but I thought she wold at least wait untill we wernt married, this hurts more to me then the divorce does and even though i will over come my adhd I dont know if I can over come the fact that she was unfaithful to me, And she doesnt think she's doing any

I stumbled upon this website tonight as I sat here googling the same words over (ADD no sex mostly) and over trying to find a connection to someone or something that I could grab onto...my heart is heavy tonight and I'm at a loss at what to do. So far I'm overwhelmed with relief I've found these forums...you all are articulate, loving, and intelligent people and I'm grateful at how you've extended yourself to others. I hope I can be yet another lucky recipient of some words of inspiration, experience, and hope.

Part of me is scared to type but I feel like I can't keep my feelings in any longer.  I've given a million percent to my husband with ADHD and knew his problems before we got married.  Maybe I thought I could help him and my love would carry us thru.  I don't feel that way anymore.  I'm angry, depressed, confused, etc...just too many emotions and I feel like I'm aging years as the days go on...I'm only in my early 30s.  

I have read a number of the posts regarding sexual desire and some related to erectile dysfunction related to those with ADD/ADHD. I, however, have a different sexual dysfunction- premature ejaculation. I am in my late twenties now, and the problem first showed itself when I was 22 or 23, but has been prevalent ever since. I have tried therapy, the stop start method, medicine (zoloft), other counseling with my wife, all to no avail. 

a while ago I posted something here about when to divorce my husband who has ADHD.  I got some feedback which was helpful.  I have decided to go into counseling myself and even the therapist saw the amount of anger and resentment as a key point.  However for me what was driving behing alot of the anger and resentment was a lot of anxiety.  I never know what to expect day to day living with someone like this.  I am now on an anti-anxiety medication.  I walk...I do yoga...

While my husband has  ADD… doesn’t lose things,  is helpful  with chores etc., nice guy, just he struggles mostly with processing of information and gets overwhelmed and cannot plan things well or move forward. He is going to CHADD meetings and finally “seeing the light”, because he has finally identified with someone who understands his struggles etc….I feel blessed we have found some direction and answers to stop our madness.. BUT……

First of all, I want to say thank you to Dr. Hallowell and Melissa Orlov for such an incrediby helpful site.

I am an ADHD spouse. I am 39 and have been married to my wife for 15 years. I was diagnosed with very mild Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at the age of 37 and then at 38 my therapist suggested I may have NLD instead. Bottom line: Both I and my doctors believe  that I am somewhere on the "high end" of the autism spectrum and until about 5 months ago, all of my treatments and coping strategies focused on that.