Recent forum posts (all topics)

After 25 years of marriage and three children, my husband and I are separating.  He has ADHD...confirmed by a psychiatrist...but denies it.  Treatment of any kind is out of the question as he won't make time for counseling and refuses to consider meds or other tx's.  There are many other issues in our marriage (of course) but ADHD is, by far, the most significant and the worst.  I'm trying to come to grips with our upcoming separation and also trying to understand how my husband's thinks...or acts...the way he does.  I hope posters here can help.  

Okay, I have read all these accommodations we (the non ADD spouse) can make in trying to be sympathetic to our ADD spouses. I try real hard to "pick my battles" and determine what is tolerable, let it go and what is not. So my husband is really forgetful, I try to be helpful with gentle reminders to a point but the things that don't really affect me I just let go, like the fact that he hasn't had his teeth cleaned in over two years or he forgets to mail a birthday card or call for his mom, dad, sister, ect. However, there are some things I just cannot accept as tolerable.

My husband takes both Concerta and Wellbutrin. He has a bad habit of not putting the caps on tight when he takes them. We have cats that climb on the counter (I know that's not good but I can't figure out how to stop it) and I'm afraid the cats will knock them on the floor and either the cats or the dog will eat them. Does anyone know if that would harm an animal? Does anyone know how to get him to remember to put the caps on?

I went out this morning while my husband was getting ready for work. When I came back, I heard the washer running. He had actually put a load of laundry together and put it in the wash without me asking! He was looking through all his pants for his wallet and realized he had enough for a load. To someone without ADD it sounds minor, but the fact that he could figure out that he needed to do them, because they are his pants, without prompting from me, is a great step. Only the spouse of an ADD person would understand this post.

Hi all would appreciate some much needed advice.

My wife and I are in our mid to late thirties and have been married for 4 years. Though things have not been perfect we have managed to let things be ok.   I recently found out I was ADD big time but only after suffering job losses and failures. My wife had enough of my job problems and financial as a consequence and reached a point of no return. She thinks ADD is an excuse and will not get involved with it in any way, for her it does not justify my problems.

"Blaming or making rigid demands on others, the world and one’s self is the core of most emotional problems. Also we waste a lot of time waiting for the world to meet our demands.  We have to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it were."

I am not doing so well at all in my marriage with my ADHD spouse.  we will be married for almost 3yrs and it has been so tough for both of us.  We have been to marital therapy and it seems things stick for a week or so and then he does what he wants. 

What am I doing…

My wife is my true love. We have been married twenty-two years and have two children.

I don’t understand why I push my wife away. I hurt her constantly. I avoid her and the conflict. I don’t communicate and when I do I am not clear. I am a workaholic.

I was married once before and after seven years my first wife had an affair. I found out and we got a divorce.

I am not sure this has anything to do with adhd, but my husband keeps starring at other women when where are out together. This bothers me so much. When we were 19 he told me he stared at other girls all the time when he was alone, and that they didn´t need to be beautiful, the he would focus on the nice parts. Back then, I believed men and women were the same, and since I never do that, I thought this was wrong like cheating. I had made that statement in conversation, so later he told me about this because he was feeling dishonest with me.

My wife and I have been married for almost 4yrs and have two wonderful kids (yes, we moved quickly).  When I met her and we dated, granted it was for a fairly short time, she was on adderall (I didn't really know that at the time).  She told me she had ADHD, but I didn't really understand what that meant at the time and she was a ton of fun to be with, so I didn't really think much of it.  I assumed it just meant she had trouble focusing and remembering things sometimes, which I thought we could work through with no issues.