Recent Comments

  • by: KimmieLynn - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    If you find any solutions please let me know.    My 65 year old husbands weed smoking and beer drinking every day exacerbates his symptoms and reminds me of a teenager.     I hope as we work with getting his medications correct he feels less need to self medicate but I'm not holding my breath.  In his case it'll unfortunately boil down to being a health problem that will force his to stop.
    >>> on Forum topic - Weed

  • by: KimmieLynn - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    It's harder then traveling with a toddler.   Last minute packing and getting ready while im sleeping,   Going out for last minute drives only to have car problems,  loosing his passport in the airport, forgetting his bag with his cash in it going through security....   the list goes on.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Traveling with ADHD spouse

  • by: KimmieLynn - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Can't speak for others but my Add husbands family is extremely toxic with disorders ranging from narcism to bpd.
    >>> on Forum topic - The toxic family that surrounds the ADHDer

  • by: C-love (not verified) - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Hi bypadget1, I am the Non ADHD Spouse and my story fits yours quite a bit. I have  accused my ADHD husband of being a narcissist. ADHD and Narcissism can look alike unless your really educated on it. It sounds like you see the difference. The fact that your willing to even look at your part shows that your not narcissistic. I was also on the way out the door a month ago and have written a post on this forum in response to what worked for me as the Non ADHD spouse.  My experience with my husband is that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

  • by: bpadget1 - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Thanks for the great advice.  I've already gone down the path of cutting drinks out, as it just doesn't do anything for my life.  Having a few drinks together used to be something we did, but more for fun and enjoyment of trying new things.   I'm more than happy to find something that doesn't ruin my next day and light up my emotions as a hobby.    I'll certainly have a look at the e-book and already have an MD appointment as well as starting therapy with an ADHD specialist this time.  I've tried to be...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

  • by: c ur self - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    If there is a way (in your marriage, and my own) to experience a God honoring life as one flesh....You've out lined it....God's words to us husbands, and wives, is the only way we receive his blessings...Not his mercy, but, his blessings....I hope your husband is thankful....I hope he hear's Jesus, and submits his self as the gospel calls us to do...(understanding way, love our wives as we love ourselves, and give ourselves for them, the power of our bodies etc...).... Submission is a word we can't be...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD & Accountability

  • by: C-love (not verified) - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Good Morning! I was so happy to see that my post gave you some hope. I want to be very transparent on here as to what has happened since I have posted this praise report to really give you some solid Hope. This has been a rollercoaster ride, however its like a light bulb went on for me in this last month and I really feel like I need to share. I know each persons experience will be different. Here is my experience, I hope it comforts you; - Since the ADHD diagnosis I have gone from being the complete...
    >>> on Forum topic - Positive Report from Non ADHD Spouse

  • by: c ur self - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Praise the Lord!....I am so proud of you!... My wife was just all over the place emotionally this weekend...Loud and full of drama...So she tells me that she is trying to get off her adderall (cold turkey) after all these years...I just kept my opinion to myself, and decided to respect her decision. But, I did calmly point out her behavior change, and asked her to not address me with all the loud drama, emergencies, and impatience....We have been able to communicate so much better the last year or two,...
    >>> on Forum topic - Positive Report from Non ADHD Spouse

  • by: mutedsonos - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    I can empathise with what you say.... My husband's Dr. changed his medication about 7 months ago and to start with it was amazing; he was able to stop smoking, stopped drinking caffeinated coffee (made his anxiety worse), and was able to stop biting his nails (anxiety) all within about a month of the new meds.  It was like he was a changed man. Within the last 3-4 months it's like he completely reverted - he's back drinking too much coffee, knowing full well it makes him anxious, his nails are bitten also...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: Bridgewater - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Thank you so much for sharing this. It is just what I needed. you sound so much like me. I struggle with the same things although for me I realized it was a resistance to being his caregiver in a sense. I wasn't willing to accept that ADHD is forever and some times/seasons are going to be really hard. I feel like I am always lowering my expectations and we are trying to do some unconventional things that require extra. It's not happening at all and I am the one who is stressed about it. But you have...
    >>> on Forum topic - Positive Report from Non ADHD Spouse

  • by: Loopdaloop - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    That explains things well. I remember 2 occasions where my partner seemed to take such a dislike to me, once when I kindly had made a pie for him and his mum, as requested and did the cooking at her house, and then another time when he was spiteful to me in front of one of his friends kid's birthday party. The next day the friend pulled him up about it, and my ex partner did apologise over it, but I don't think he thought too deeply about it, and I could see events like that increasing.
    >>> on Blog entry - The Cuddle Rule

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    I think the reason why that hyperfocus recedes and they lose interest is that we are no longer the “new, shiny object” in their world. Our familiarity fails to give them the dopamine hit they need, so they seek it elsewhere in obsessive hobbies, or other people.  I saw my ex do this to friends as well as to me. We met a very nice guy on our multiple trips to a tourist town. We were thinking of buying a house there, and my ex liked him so much, he even suggested renting the downstairs apartment to him. On...
    >>> on Blog entry - The Cuddle Rule

  • by: Loopdaloop - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    Hello,  I'm very sorry for you're situation, I hear you. I've recently read an article by a leading psychiatrist who specialises in adhd, he says it's incredibly common for people with adhd to yank out chain so to speak, to escalate arguments, to say the opposite of what you say regardless if they believe it or not, if you have a complaint I'll turn it into my complaint. They basically seek drama to get the dopamine hit as negative thoughts have a stimulating effect on the brain.  i wish they'd invent...
    >>> on Blog entry - The Cuddle Rule

  • by: Joanne81 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Don't get this the wrong way but if this is a truthful picture of your relationship, you shouldn´t be researching ADHD or PTSD. Have a look at NPD instead. You have described almost all possible red flags there can be found in a relationship with a person with NPD. And if you find it to resonate with your situation, don´t wait for an official diagnoses, just get out of there as soon as possibly.  Best of luck. 
    >>> on Blog entry - The Cuddle Rule

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I understand. Why should anybody sacrifice their happiness and peace of mind to someone who won’t help themselves? Someone who only sees you as an object to meet their needs... needs that they should be responsible for themselves? The other poster, whose comment was removed, seems to think that we are “trying to change something he has no control of”, and that is simply NOT true. ADHD folks have the ability to learn better behaviors just like anyone else. He’s really selling himself short if he believes he...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: tippidog2 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Thank you kindly. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: bpadget1 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I absolutely appreciate the feedback.  I'm just starting this journey, finally with open eyes to the problem.  Every good relationship book has the same advice: change yourself; be the change without advertising it; build connection.  I've been trying, but with symptoms blocking my path.     It is interesting to me that I knew only a little about ADD/ADHD in the 80s/90s and it was always about the kids who were "trouble makers" or who "couldn't keep up" or stay in their seats.  Since I was a good quiet...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

  • by: tippidog2 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    He refused all manner of help; individual therapy, couples therapy, etc. I sacrificed more years than any sane person would, trying to hold together our house, finances and careers. Eventually, he retreated,  unemployed, into a gin bottle, and I rescued myself. I applied these dreadful lessons to my second marriage, with blessed success.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: tippidog2 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I threw him out; actually, I bought out his interest in our house. I had wasted years trying to change him, someone beyond my control. It was tough love and all that other Al-Anon rhetoric, and the best thing I could do for myself. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: MelissaOrlov - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    You mention the abuse that you have heaped upon your family when drinking and how emotionally unstable you are when drinking.  The first change I would recommend is that you stop drinking.  Completely.  See what happens to your life. The damage that the alcohol leads to in your life is not worth the 'benefits' of drinking it.  Plus, it's likely a big deal for your wife and child. Second, download my free treatment e-book and start working on other elements of better managing your ADHD.  Perhaps better...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

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