Recent Comments

  • Mood swings & depression as irritability
    by: T00T00 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Did she ever get tested for PMDD/PME? She might need prescription medicine for her mood swings. I was told that depression can come out as anger. It's similar to mine since it comes out as anger or feeling down on a daily basis. Also when your kids were babies/toddlers, were you as involved in child-rearing & house chores as you are now? To me, it might be resentment accumulated in the relationship. How frequently are the chores done by you (1 per 3-4 weeks versus 1 per 1-2 weeks...
    >>> on Forum topic - My ADHD wife keeps insulting me and blames me for everything

  • Really struggling with my ADHD partner
    by: JB - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    My partner has ADHD and it's really severe. We recently moved in together and so it's become far more prominent. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions and I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I feel abandoned and ignored (even though he always says he doesn't  want to hurt me and is worried he will) and get snatches of the beautiful love he has for me. He's so all over the place all the time. I have gently mentioned his ADHD to him a couple of times before but he has either forgotten or...
    >>> on Forum topic - Where to Start

  • Fairness
    by: Swedish coast - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Honestly is so right in that whatever we do, it will never be enough for an ADHD partner like this. If they’re in some way oblivious to how much we contribute, that would be the only explanation for their behavior.  It frightens me to have lived this lopsided life for many years and not called the bluff. And nobody, except this community, understands any of it. It’s a mental warp.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage on Verge of Collapse-ADHD Spouse Digging Heels In

  • RSD
    by: honestly - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I don’t know if you have this but it was the most hurtful and destructive thing for me. If I had been heard, rather than stonewalled, blamed and dismissed, we could have got somewhere. As you want to make things better, I would try and focus on this at least in part. Is he actually being mean and cruel and blamey when he’s asking for change, or is he just asking (perhaps desperately) for change?
    >>> on Forum topic - Where to Start

  • only the details change
    by: honestly - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    This is all so familiar; only the details change. It is so weird to keep seeing the same patterns replicated across the world. I carried the whole show - kids, household, breadwinning, emotional labour - while my husband did his thing. His thing, after 10 years, finally made some money. I jumped up and down and hugged him and bought champagne to congratulate him, and told him he was brilliant and how I admired his resilience. Afterwards, in marriage counselling, he told me I had not been pleased...
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage on Verge of Collapse-ADHD Spouse Digging Heels In

  • Are we triplets with Swedish?
    by: Off the roller ... - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I think k you are mine and Swedish's long lost sister from another mister. We are triplets.  I have so much to write bit for now, I want you to know you arent alone. I'm in the thick of exactly what you're going through. And it's so so tough. It does come down to closing ourselves though and it's so hard. I've been trying to point the finger at myself more instead of pointing it at my husband but dang, it's exahsting. We are on our 4th letter and this one finally hit home. But it was a doozy and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage on Verge of Collapse-ADHD Spouse Digging Heels In

  • Not Helping
    by: Orbital Seattlite - 4 months 3 weeks ago
    There are a lot of comments here about how this isn't an ADHD trait, and should be seen as a selfish or abusive behaviour. Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient (link removed) The Empathy/Systemising Quotient deals with the degree of emotional engagement vs systemising - an analytical...
    >>> on Forum topic - Absolutely no sympathy from husband when I'm sick! In fact, it seems to be my fault!

  • I don't really feel like I
    by: Saira - 5 months 2 weeks ago
    I don't really feel like I was being brave. More like, I don't know, like maybe there was room for a different perspective. I admit I kind of just expected to get shot down and told that I didn't understand what people like me put their partners through and I'd understand that. It wouldn't be completely wrong, but not completely right either. I do think I understand part of it. Maybe not full empathy, but I can grasp that it's extremely painful and frustrating from an objective standpoint at the very least...
    >>> on Forum topic - Do they realize as soon as they say they'll do something that they have no plans to ACTUALLY do it??

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