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by: Gadi Harshini -
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way—this sounds like such a painful and exhausting situation. You clearly care deeply for your husband, and your love and patience shine through, even in your frustration. It’s understandable that you feel torn between staying and hoping for change or leaving and feeling like you’re abandoning him. But your feelings, well-being, and happiness matter just as much as his. Even without therapy, there are small, practical steps that could help. There are free online...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: J -
I've never been all that worried about taking intelligence tests ( IQ test especially ), probably because I already knew what the outcome would be. I thought. I've taken plenty of tests in the past and managed to make it through school okay. I didn't struggle except in math. In math, I'm dysfunctional. I might even have dycalculia, as I read, about 30% of people with ADHD have it and I'm probably one of them. Anyway, the math scores always threw everything off and I always scored about...>>> on Forum topic - The Zen in Motorcycle Riding
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by: J -
I've been working on this same thing at home with my SO ie: feeling safe, feeling welcome, feeling accepted. Trust has a lot to do with it, but now, I'm looking at expectations instead of trust. Differentiating these two things have been helpful. The question is: do I feel emotionally safe? Can I safely share things with my SO and have her take care of those things? The answer is: yes and no. But knowing what I know now, I have to back up a bit. How are we different both...>>> on Forum topic - Emotional safety
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by: J -
As someone who has ADHD, it's physically impossible for everything to be your fault. In contrast, it's not only possible, it's probable that ( a person ) could blame everyone else for anything they don't like. Whether it's their fault or not. Think about it.>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: djLo -
Barkmeow, I am so sorry to hear about the trouble your marriage is experiencing. So, what I am hearing is: his diagnosis of BD (bi-polar disorder) is less of a concern than your ADHD? Curious, yet isn't that a bit indicative of his dysfunction (mania and mood swings)? The Bible says we need to focus on the "log in our own eye" verses the speck in someone else's. We/you are only responsible for our/your response to said behavior. It sounds like you are doing your best by going to...>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: djLo -
Hello community, I am so glad to meet you and hear I am not alone. I feel your pain and can say only God has sustained me to this day and is the only one I truly count on! Married in ‘78 after dating 3 years - we had not heard of adhd back then? Our son was diagnosed early on. We struggled much with him in daycare, preschools and elementary. Jr. High were his best years followed by more failure in h.s. Needless to say caused tremendous stress for the marriage. Three rounds of...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
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by: Swedish coast -
J, this fluid state sounds wonderful. Isn’t it like what ER doctors and nurses experience when they deal with disaster and every minute counts? I know I’ve read that ADHD people thrive in this particular setting. One wrong move, like you on your motorcycle, and there’s death. Instead of obsessing about risks, the gifted ones manage this fluently, and love it. One has to admire it.>>> on Forum topic - The Zen in Motorcycle Riding
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by: Swedish coast -
That’s many years of living with presumably ADHD left and right. I relate to your story in that I too seem to recognize ADHD everywhere among relatives now ex husband and child have been diagnosed. How does one learn to manage it? I feel like I’m easily triggered by all kinds of eccentric behavior now. Whenever reality starts to tilt because of somebody displaying characteristic behavior, I immediately run for safety. If there’s nowhere to run, I argue in a heated tone of voice. I...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
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by: wrong-thunder -
Your insights on the ADHD marriage forum are very thoughtful. The behavior described indeed seems to go beyond just ADHD, indicating possible emotional manipulation and control. The PowerPoint presentation, rather than fostering a productive dialogue, appears to be an attempt to deflect responsibility and blame solely on the partner.>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: hollow -
Thank you Swedish. "If there’s genuine love in the marriage alongside with suffering, there is no easy way forward. " I will keep this phrase in mind. You're right, in this situations at the end of the day, there's no win-win situation. So I need to reflect and think of what I need in my life.>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: Swedish coast -
You share this predicament with so many of us here. It’s terribly hard. If there’s genuine love in the marriage alongside with suffering, there is no easy way forward. I feel like I’ve added injury to my ex husband by leaving a year ago. He wasn’t doing well, and he really needed me for support. He’d lost a lot already because of his difficulties. If it’s any comfort, we failed to save our marriage despite having a lot of excellent care and therapy. No amount of it could compensate...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: libsun1 -
I have the same experience and its because he is a liar not his ADHD>>> on Forum topic - How to rebuild TRUST when he won't stop LYING?
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by: libsun1 -
I have the same experience and its because he is a liar not his ADHD>>> on Forum topic - How to rebuild TRUST when he won't stop LYING?
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by: J -
I'm trying to focus on the positive strengths that have been given to me having ADHD. By using these strengths, I can become a better partner, and understand how I can be a more understanding and supportive of my partners ADHD needs opposed to mine. Using #1 ( Understanding ADHD ) is my best path to get there. Knowledge is power, and my unique way of learning is my best allie. My strengths include: My number 1# strength, I'm a Visual - Spatial Learner ( VSL ). This is a gift. Vivid...>>> on Forum topic - Supporting Your Partner with ADHD: Tips and Insights
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by: J -
"do you actually want to be together?!?!?!" "Are you willing to do the work to stay together??" Something happened to me last week that was unplanned. I don't know if this is related but it sounds like it is. This was something my last therapist told me that I've never forgotten. He said "You should always be ready to leave. No matter where you are, or who you're with, you should always be ready to walk away." For me, this is a gigantic order. It challenges ever inch of my being right...>>> on Forum topic - Bandaids on train wrecks
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by: Swedish coast -
I’ve been scrutinizing my own behavior too, trying to take responsibility for marriage decline. Later, I’ve come to the conclusion there’s not so much point in blaming myself. It’s not even very useful to blame the ADD ex. When one’s marriage is a prison of emotional hurt, inability to understand the other and ADHD dysfunction, one won’t ever be able to behave like a person who is loved, respected, and has an understanding of the world like a place of logic, balance and peace. It’s all...>>> on Forum topic - Bandaids on train wrecks
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by: J -
between ADHD and emotional dysregulation has been an ongoing topic for research for me. The most common introduction to any article you find reads something like this: "Research suggests that emotion dysregulation is present in all three subtypes, though people with the combined type appear to be at the greatest risk for emotional symptoms (Hirsch, O., et al., Scientific Reports, Vol. 9, No. 5639, 2019). “Not all people with ADHD have [emotional] difficulty, but it’s very common,” Rosen added...>>> on Forum topic - Managing Emotions in ADHD: Anger and Frustration
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by: scoobydo -
comment delete>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and aversion to therapy
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by: scoobydo -
comment delete>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and aversion to therapy
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by: scoobydo -
comment delete>>> on Forum topic - ADHD and aversion to therapy
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