Recent Comments

  • by: JaciC - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Hi, newbie here - came across your post and I could've written it. Exactly how I have been feeling for a very long time. Weird thing is, I have ADHD and I have learnt how to successfully goal set and plan and marvel at how much self respect and happiness this has brought into my life. It has only been in the last year or so that I have realised with shock that my husband has many of the tell-tale signs of ADHD himself. Our only child is ADHD. My husband is good man. He goes to work, helps out with...
    >>> on Forum topic - No future plans/dreams

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    "I know I will have to demonstrate change." I think that is the key. I am one of the many non-ADHD spouses you've described whose spouse would not try. However, if he had tried, I would have needed to see the "proof" for quite some time before believing the change was real and sustainable. For context, you have a marriage the same length as mine was and a daughter the same age as mine! To stay (my ADHD husband and I separated a year ago), I would have needed to see him take responsibility for his ADHD...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

  • by: JinnyTonic - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I think it takes a great amount of love to care for another's wellbeing while you are hurting, but you cannot hinder your happiness based on worry about where he'll go if you separate. He needs to learn to take care of himself and he is likely not going to change if you don't force it. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Not sure how long I can keep going

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    This sounds an awful lot like something SamBam would have posted,  just saying.  (Right down to the spelling errors.) Typical.  Another person who doesn't have a clue...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: Giorgia - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    How do I get her to believe that I’m not abusive, just distracted? I NEVER MEANT TO CAUSE HER PAIN. Hello, these two sentences have inspired me to comment, that's why I am placing it here.  So first, I believe you can do it. I hear a lot of determination from your words. It seems like you are now really focusing on saving your marriage. And it seems like for the first time you are finally finding the root cause of most of your problems. And in many ways it is unique that you are willing to really look...
    >>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse has quit before starting

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    You’re incorrectly reading things into what we are saying. Will It Get Better never said anything about “masking” one’s ADHD.
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Please explain. Learning better behavior does not change how his brain works. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: ADHDman223 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    good you were trying to change how his brain works 
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: ADHDman223 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    i also read your history of saying that people with adhd cant change like wtf 
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: ADHDman223 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    the biggest problem is your trying to force them into someone theyre not like k they will always have adhd but your comment  is saying they should mask their adhd 
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: ADHDman223 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    its kind of said you want to telll your daugter partner to leave her because se he has adhd
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: MelissaOrlov - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    It's hard to break up with someone, even if they haven't been providing you with the relationship you had hoped for.  One of the things to look for is whether or not you have a 'fantasy' version of your ex, along with a 'real' version of your ex.  It's the fantasy version whom you think might do better...and the 'real' version who is actually doing the doing.  You have a long list of things that your partner was doing that weren't healthy for you or your relationship.  Pay attention to the doing, vs. what...
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: Will It Get Better - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    No matter how successful you are at helping your ADHD partner to find the best ADHD psychiatrist and work through the trials and error of evaluating the correct medications and the correct dosages, your eternal fundamental problem is that your partner has ADHD.  He/She 'needs to take responsibility' to manage their symptoms to achieve the most consistent improvement.  But if they are inconsistent (i.e. Hyperfocus dissipates) the improvement House of Cards blows away (again) in the face of the recurring...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: Elsa - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Hello to you both, someone else here who completely understands and feels the pain you are going through and I also feel that only the kind people here understands what life is like living with an ADHD partner , I do not know anyone in my life that is going through this to talk to, do not get me wrong I have a group of people that love me and listen but how can anyone really get the exhausting relentless destruction  of your lives that untreated ADHD brings .  Magician I am glad you got your husband to...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: TheMaskedMagician - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Thank you for this. Just knowing that others have been through similar gives me such comfort! Sometimes I think I'm going mad so it's so important to realise that what I feel is truly happening. We are going to look into his medication - perhaps dose needs adjusting, will seek the Dr's advice
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: TheMaskedMagician - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I have not asked anybody to leave their partner. The person above has already separated from their partner. Read the comment properly before resorting to crude insults.  (insults edited out)
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Thanks for reminding me exactly why I left my paranoid, argumentative, immature, financially dependent, victim-minded verbally abusive ex who never took the time to go to therapy, to improve his own behavior, or to empathize with my feelings. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Why do you always have to resort to name-calling? I don't see anywhere in this thread where anybody is advocating for someone to leave their partner. That said, most people who have left their partners have done so after years and years of living with someone who will not address their issues. If they're not willing to contribute to the relationship or change it is a very very difficult decision to make and not one made lightly I'm sure. When I left my now ex-husband it took ten years for me to do it...
    >>> on Forum topic - Any pearls of wisdom

  • by: dedelight4 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Hi, I have to say I'm sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. NO ONE knows what it's like to live with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD, unless you've BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. It's very, very HARD, even after it IS diagnosed...AND NO ONE KNOWS WHAT ITS LIKE.. You feel lost, and unloved and especially UNHEARD....because they don't LISTEN to the people they "say" they love the most. The person who HAS it, has to WANT to live a better life, but they've usually lived for SO long, thr way...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help! ADHD husband is regressing

  • by: TheMaskedMagician - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    Sadly, this is classic ADHD. It's not that they are selfish people deep down, it's just that they have behaviours that come across as selfish and oftentimes very hurtful. They are incapable of thinking about other people for long enough, and sensitively enough to show care because very often they are simply wrapped up in their own world. The problem is that when you are on the receiving end of this behaviour it all feels exactly the same as pure narcissism - after all, you can't feel 'intentions', only...
    >>> on Forum topic - Selfishness

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