Recent Comments

  • by: Mora_91 - 4 months 2 days ago
    Very relatable. Integrity has nearly vanished, to where you don't feel he can fulfill any promises he makes. I am in a similar situation, although only have been with him for a year. And then, you start to feel crazy for having to ask someone for more love, support, and affection. And for them to care about you. You think, "I should never have to ask for such things to begin with, in a relationship." At least, that's how I've started to feel. The things that are lacking, are becoming dealbreakers. How can...
    >>> on Forum topic - When to call it quits with ADHD partner :(

  • by: Mora_91 - 4 months 2 days ago
    God such a relatable post. I thought I was alone in this. But oh my god is any trip with my partner becoming the opposite of a "break" or "vacation."  We went to Boston. He almost missed his flight, because he waited to the last second to pack. He tells me he has many ideas, plans, goals while there. Guess how much of them happen? None. We randomly, spontaneously do things last minute, and it was a nightmare. He had a mental breakdown while on the trip, suicidal breakdown. He got pissed off at me for...
    >>> on Forum topic - Traveling with ADHD spouse

  • by: Mora_91 - 4 months 2 days ago
    God such a relatable post. I thought I was alone in this. But oh my god is any trip with my partner becoming the opposite of a "break" or "vacation."  We went to Boston. He almost missed his flight, because he waited to the last second to pack. He tells me he has many ideas, plans, goals while there. Guess how much of them happen? None. We randomly, spontaneously do things last minute, and it was a nightmare. He had a mental breakdown while on the trip, suicidal breakdown. He got pissed off at me for...
    >>> on Forum topic - Traveling with ADHD spouse

  • by: sickandtired - 4 months 3 days ago
    It is very frustrating when you have to deal with those types of behaviors from a full grown adult isn’t it? Many of us here have been in your shoes. This is a safe place to share your situation and to get support. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger, denial and “acting out”

  • by: speakstofish - 4 months 3 days ago
    Thank you for the feedback! That's definitely been my approach, where I'm trying to show her productive stuff I'm accomplishing here. I'm afraid of going into narcissism mode and just being focused on myself and what I'm doing though, bc she's said that about me before too.  I appreciate the positive vibes! I have a lot going for me right now, including a job market that for what I do at least is hungry for workers and is easing my way back to professional life, and I'm hoping money for montessori and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage issues lead to diagnosis, now time for healing

  • by: 1Melody1 - 4 months 4 days ago
    My ADHD ex husband has a story similar to yours. Once he left the work world, he could not go back. ADHD (untreated though) made work very difficult. He never went back (8 years passed with him out of the workforce). This is just one of the reasons our marriage ended. What I needed from my husband to keep the marriage intact was action. It was difficult for him to see the impact of ADHD on the family. Even when (I thought) he did, he did not take adequate steps to solve the issues. He might "think" about...
    >>> on Forum topic - Marriage issues lead to diagnosis, now time for healing

  • by: Dlhhemphill1 - 4 months 4 days ago
    He's on meds but not add meds.  We are trying to work through our issues.  He sometimes doesn't think his memory is a problem.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Accountability for Conversations?

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 4 months 4 days ago
    is he getting meds and therapy and are talking about divorce 
    >>> on Forum topic - Accountability for Conversations?

  • by: Dlhhemphill1 - 4 months 5 days ago
    I found after 38 years of marriage there's no emotional intimacy if the partner has no ability to remember our conversations
    >>> on Forum topic - Accountability for Conversations?

  • by: Dlhhemphill1 - 4 months 5 days ago
    The only thing that works for my husband is when he writes things down & even that’s not always helpful
    >>> on Forum topic - Accountability for Conversations?

  • by: lgabelis - 4 months 6 days ago
    Ugh I'm sorry you are also going through this....it REALLY sucks.  I hope you find the courage to do what you need to do to find happiness <3
    >>> on Forum topic - When to call it quits with ADHD partner :(

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 4 months 1 week ago
    ask him to come off the meds   
    >>> on Forum topic - Struggling with our relationship, partner has changed his mind about medication

  • by: sickandtired - 4 months 1 week ago
    Yeah, it resonated with me when you said you felt like you are wasting your life. I was 60 with several chronic health problems when I threw my ex out of my house. It was very hard, because he resisted. He was totally financially dependent on me because he quit his job a couple of months after he moved into my house. He said his boss was a bully. Frequently, it seems like the bullies themselves accuse others of bullying them, and they take on an entitled victim’s role. Living with someone who gaslights you...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband of 10 years changes personality on medication (dexamphetamines, Tentin)

  • by: I_live_in_Amsterdam - 4 months 1 week ago
    It's really helpful to know it's not just me. He's quite good at "gaslighting", making me feel I'm just all making it up. I recognise that at times he's trying to be sweet and "making up" for his behaviour. I'm just lucky he has a good income and we can afford the crazy spending he does on his "projects"  At the moment the projects are fairly innocent, I steer him towards those all the time, like a manipulative little shrew. When he decided on a "secret door" in a wall, I put my foot down, told him no, ...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband of 10 years changes personality on medication (dexamphetamines, Tentin)

  • by: sickandtired - 4 months 1 week ago
    Hi fellow sufferer, I lived with a guy like this who forced all kinds of projects on me, and it ended up where he had TWO of my houses, my home and my vacation home, torn up and in shambles with his many unfinished projects. I had to sell the vacation house at a loss after I dumped him. He insisted on re-wiring the well and ruined it by faulty wiring that melted the pvc lining of the well hole! He built a 20’ high retaining wall out of WOOD that ended up failing and causing a landslide after standing only...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband of 10 years changes personality on medication (dexamphetamines, Tentin)

  • by: I_live_in_Amsterdam - 4 months 1 week ago
    Can you tell me how did you tell him you wanted to leave the relationship and how did he take it? Did he have any self awareness about how he behaves, or none at all? I'm preparing the I want a divorce talk, and it's really hard as usually I can't have a normal conversation with my husband at all. He just walks away or starts yelling. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Struggling with our relationship, partner has changed his mind about medication

  • by: I_live_in_Amsterdam - 4 months 1 week ago
    Hi, I'm sorry you're going through all this and also being so young, it must be very hard. I can't help you as I have similar problems myself. What I do, is started to take care of myself and setting clear boundaries, saying no more. It helped me at least to take care of myself. We have seperate bank accounts, I hope you do too, I'd never share a bank account with my partner who also spends a lot on things that don't matter to me. It's been 10 years and I navigated the undiagnosed ADHD much better than...
    >>> on Forum topic - Struggling with our relationship, partner has changed his mind about medication

  • by: [email protected] - 4 months 1 week ago
    Hi, wow your story is so similar to mine. I've been with my ADHD partner 10 years, I have exactly the same experiences, and I am so tired, exhausted. Also, mine started medication (dexamphetamine) and it changed him into a super cocky person who irritates me to no extend. Sometimes I just want to scream "shut up, shut up, shut up". But I don't, I just nod and smile to keep the peace. I am about to check out after 10 years, the medication changed all the rules I had learned to live a good life with him. Now...
    >>> on Forum topic - When to call it quits with ADHD partner :(

  • by: lgabelis - 4 months 1 week ago
    I'm so sorry you are also going through this.  It really really sucks. But hopefully you can find some solace in knowing you aren't the only one dealing with these issues.  And I'm sorry about the lack of intimacy - I know from experience, it's really hard to keep the romance alive when you feel like you're having to take care of someone like their parent (literally nothing is less sexy lol).  Is he medicated?  Is he aware of this issues his ADHD has caused?  Reading this blog and listening to Chase &...
    >>> on Forum topic - When to call it quits with ADHD partner :(

  • by: lgabelis - 4 months 1 week ago
    Glad to hear you had a good week and are starting therapy with someone who GETS IT.  That would be incredibly stressful to be told you aren't committed enough....my therapist never went quite that far, but it still sucks to feel like you are giving everything and it still feels so HARD (so I can totally relate).  And it's great that your partner recognizes that if he manages his ADHD it makes the relationship way better....I think my partner hasn't fully let that click, maybe it would help if he did -...
    >>> on Forum topic - Counseling Fails

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