Recent Comments

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 45 sec ago
    "James 1: 19....Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger..." Though I can't say that I am a Christian, my father is, and he sends me scripture all the time. I get into phases where I read the bible and try my best to understand the meaning behind it all. That passage right there is so powerful and so perfectly written. It's so inspiring. Great post C. Well said.
    >>> on Forum topic - New Year's resolution's...

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 8 min 3 sec ago
    Thanks for your words of encouragement. This was a tricky one for me to write. What I meant by obligation - yes, we all have obligations, for example, I have certain "obligations" to my children but I never want them to feel like an obligation to me??I want them to feel loved and that I am happy to be their mom. Taking care of them is a JOY and a GIFT and an HONOR. I am grateful for them. I treasure them and the role I get to play in their lives. I swear, I never feel like I can fully explain what I mean....
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 14 min 20 sec ago
    Thank you so much for you very kind, very sweet, and encouraging words. My husband is so WONDERFUL! He makes me feel so amazing, so at ease, and so so LOVED. Although neither of us are where we want to be in other parts of our lives (let's say career wise), we are very happy on our journey together as a couple and as a family. I feel so blessed and my hubby tells me that he feels the same way. Thanks again A. c:
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 20 min 58 sec ago
    I'm so glad you liked this post and that it's been helpful for you in whatever way. Like I said in my post, I don't really plan out what I'm going to say but since I'm telling my true story, I do have a good idea of what I want to say in each post. I have a good idea about the "outline" of where I'm going with this, but I don't preplan the words. I'm just letting it flow, trying to get each "step" of my story across to everyone (who chooses to read my posts.) I did want to jump right into my side, my...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 40 min 38 sec ago
    Thanks so much for reading and responding to my post. I feel like you're bringing up really great points and if I'm understanding you correctly then yes, I have been in this place that you are describing in your comment post. What I was trying to communicate with you all was how my perception of my H has changed and due to the change in my perceptions, I feel like I'm not in this passive aggressive place that you are describing to  me. As they say, perception is everything, right?  I really feel like we...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: ADH9er - 6 hours 34 min ago
    What a refreshing read. I,a 'Journeying' ADHD husband, have enormous respect for your insights. With all my heart I hope your Journey Blossoms and bears much fruit in your relationship. And even more I pray that your spouse can recognize his blessings, in you, and will be invigorated to be equally attuned to Gifting you. I know that this Forum can be a place for us to commiserate our injury & desperate suffering with the desire to glean wisdom, healing and Hope, You, dear Island-Girl23, are a...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: troy127 - 11 hours 55 min ago
    I truly love all creatures. Being neither a dog or cat "person", I truly love ALL animals and appreciate what each species brings to the table! There are times, however, especially times of stress involving health, that we tend to seek that which is easier and comforting. I didn't always acknowledge the stress I've been under in keeping it all together and managing affairs, until I became vulnerable---and needed REAL emotional help. Sadly, there wasn't much to be had.... I'm also beginning to think that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ignorant of what I had signed up for....

  • by: LES - 12 hours 4 min ago
    I'm not even sure where to start on this, but to hear you ACTUALLY thinking of your fiance is a blessing. I fell in love with someone over 30 years ago, we went out separate ways, but I loved him so, we entered each other's lives about 8 years ago, he was gone working for 3 months back 2 weeks etc., so things didn't show at first, although I knew something wasn't quite right, I honestly thought there was someone else a lot of the times and actually still do, from what i found. I'm a caretaker, fixer...
    >>> on Blog entry - Can ADHD Cause Narcissism?

  • by: JJamieson - 14 hours 59 min ago
    Hi LateDiagnosis, I too have been fortunate enough to have a councilor who is familiar with this.  He actually...as he says, has a "touch" of ADD and is more introverted instead of extroverted like me. That's not to say he appears like a book worm librarian type....he is very outgoing and engaging to say the least...but that's not what the definition actually means....it's more what's going on in the inside than the outside.  You can't always judge a book by it's cover as they say.  He also has a son with...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: NowOrNever - 16 hours 47 min ago
    A powerful post, Jenna.  Full of truthtelling.  All my best to you. As for conditioning, I so, so agree, that it goes on in relationships.   The little book Don't Shoot the Dog, for me was a great introduction to the various kinds of positive and negative conditionings, and what each usually produces.  I found it a huge eye opener about human to human relations.    It contains some funny stories.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Ignorant of what I had signed up for....

  • by: NowOrNever - 16 hours 58 min ago
    Yes, it goes both ways.  I agree with what you've said about either partner feeling entitled, so self focused as to believe and act like only their way mattered.  You go, girl : ) I look forward to your next part.  You wrote in your last post "I didn't think so much about his intentions back then. I mostly only cared about RESULTS. Intent and results are important to me now. And I, MYSELF am much more IMPORTANT to myself nowadays as well." Your last post, and J's last post, which in a hypothetical ...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: JJamieson - 17 hours 38 sec ago
    Hi Island-girl23, I had to respond to what you wrote here. I also had a similar breakthrough (in understanding). It is the corresponding side to what you said.... I am moody, messy I get restless, I get senseless And you never seem to care. When I'm angry, You listen. Make me happy, It's a mission. And you won't stop till I'm there. Fall, sometimes I fall so fast. When I hit that bottom crash, You're all I have. Before I say anything, I want to put everyone on the same page together at the same...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: jennalemone - 19 hours 20 min ago
    We have a chihuahua living with us.  He is a VERY good dog. Never makes a mess. Doesn't beg for attention.  He "holds his need to go out" like someone who doesn't want to cause anyone else any effort on his part.  He doesn't beg or howl.  His old toys are like new. He NEVER bites.  His tiny claws are softer than a kitten's.  You would think he would be appreciated and cared for and doted on. He is lovable. I have had big oafish loveable dogs in the past.  Their hair "especially the collie's" made extra...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ignorant of what I had signed up for....

  • by: LateDiagnosis - 1 day 2 hours ago
    i am so glad that you've written the 2nd installment. This is therapeutic for me to read. I think you've started to shine light on your side, which I feel will help others in the same boat as I am as the ADHD partner. I believe that once you get to more of your side of things, I will, as will others like me, have a better insight into what we've been subjecting and dragging our partners through. ive been lucky and have a counselor who is the non-ADHD partner, but who is very good at helping with dealing...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 1 day 14 hours ago
    I feel like I understand what you're saying. I definitely think that we all have our limits. My hubby did have an addiction to marijuana and he also went through a few cycles of abusing alcohol. I mean we are still pretty young but we have been through a WHOLE LOT together. Like I said in my post, I don't want to get into naming all the things he has done right now (I'm not saying that you're asking me to), but for me, the drug/alcohol issue was pretty serious and I feel like it would have been enough for...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: NowOrNever - 1 day 15 hours ago
    Thank you, Island Girl. I look forward to your next post.  I agree that acceptance of each other, as they are, is foundational. You've been clear that you in your lovely way, mean only to tell your story, hoping that giving it to us, you are offering help.  Yes, it does help me to listen to your exploration of yourself and steps you have taken toward better.  Yes your description of discovery that your husband is fine as he is was important and inspiring to read. You are writing from who you are, about...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 16 hours ago
    I love this sad truth...How Noble we are for staying??...LOL...Entitlement...Now that's a nice place to suffer for a while:)....Their Obligation? Now there's a nice self Righteous place that will prop us up on our podiums:):):) It's amazing what a person will do to get what they think they want and need.....I'm glad you are doing such a great job at self-awareness....Husbands have Obligations and wives have Obligations...But, If either one of us lets our minds drift from our own Obligations onto our...
    >>> on Forum topic - My Major Breakthrough as the NON-ADHD Partner (PART TWO)

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 1 day 18 hours ago
    Troy127, I can respond to your questions based on how it worked for me in my own life. You stated:  My sincere question is: At what point can it EVER be about the non-ADD partner?!  For a really long period of time, in my own thought processes, I had that same question.  In 20/20 hindsight, I see I had  wanted my spouse to be different and realize HE HAD to balance everything.  If LIZ gave something, it was up to him to learn he had to give something.  It turned into an insane way of communicating.  I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ignorant of what I had signed up for....

  • by: Island-Girl23 - 2 days 19 hours ago
    I'm so happy to hear that my post has helped you in some sort of way. I have to admit, I cried a few times while writing this as well. I feel very embarrassed of myself for the way that I've acted towards and have treated the man I love for so so long. I cannot express how happy I am that he's stayed with me through it all and that he gave me the time I needed to be able to learn and to grow from my mistakes. I still have much to learn, I'll never be done growing. If the roles were reversed, I don't know...
    >>> on Forum topic - My major breakthrough as the NON-ADHD partner. (PART ONE)

  • by: c ur self - 3 days 3 hours ago
    Same here, exact same....after trying to live as a partner to a wife w/ a mind that was effected so much by Add, I basically hated her way of living life...It was so intrusive, I had to give up my life (I thought) to try and cover both our responsibilities. I felt so used, and unappreciated, I got angry, bitter, and resentful. It overwhelmed me to a point that I was much more of the problem than her Add...All I could see was what wasn't acceptable, and why no cared I was drowning...I was the worst kind of...
    >>> on Forum topic - My major breakthrough as the NON-ADHD partner. (PART ONE)

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