Recent Comments

  • by: Chevron - 17 hours 14 min ago
    Been there. Lol, tell him every time he does that to you, you're going to go out and buy something feminine for yourself, beginning with a cashmere sweater. J/k  : )   Although a pair of earrings or a new eyeshadow or sweater wouldnt hurt.    
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: un12720 - 1 day 5 hours ago
    Thank you,  dedelight4.  Your description of H's behavior completely mirrors my experience.  The 'shiny and new' is so very accurate and I, too, believe that our marriage was based on a 'whim.'
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: un12720 - 1 day 5 hours ago
    Thank you,  dedelight4.  Your description of H's behavior completely mirrors my experience.  The 'shiny and new' is so very accurate and I, too, believe that our marriage was based on a 'whim.'
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: dedelight4 - 1 day 8 hours ago
    Welcome to the forum. My husband has done this our entire marriage. He still does. He sings the praises of SO many other people, and notices very little if anything about me. It is diaheartning. I had to pull away from him emotionally and even physically for self survival. It hasn't mattered how many ways I've tried to communicate my "needs" or wants, he disregards them. Its like he's been emotionally stunted and stays about 12 or 13 years old and doesn't strive to get any older or learn anything else. He...
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: un12720 - 1 day 9 hours ago
    You have done an excellent job of explaining the phenomena.  H's behavior definitely reminds me of a 'love sick teenager'.   No need to apologize for your comments.  Thank you for sharing with me 
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: Hopeful Heart - 1 day 10 hours ago
    I’ve watched my husband become infatuated with and latch on to sooooo many people over the years. It can be a man or a woman. It’s not romantic in nature, but sometimes I think others misunderstand his intentions. I think the newness of the relationship is creating some kind of chemical (adrenaline, dopamine,??) in his brain that he can’t prodce naturally. He is an adrenaline junkie. He needs new relationships and extreme or stressful situations everyday, all the time.  I’m not shiny and new anymore (...
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: Grendelsmom - 1 day 12 hours ago
    I know this thread is 2 years old but the last comment is only a month ago, and I wanted to add to the discussion.  I am the person with ADHD in my marriage; I was diagnosed a year ago. I also suffer from rejection-sensitive dysphoria, I have realised since I learned about it in the last couple of months.  This has been a revelation to me.  You mean everyone doesn't feel this way? However, I have been married for 20 years.  I do not treat my partner or my children this way.  I know that my emotions are...
    >>> on Forum topic - RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)?

  • by: vabeachgal - 1 day 12 hours ago
    No need to put a bow on it.  Reality based living is good.  I think many of us have experienced this behavior in one form or another. My H can tell me everything about everyone else's lives ... but precious little about the lives of anyone closest to him.  We're not shiny and new.  It's not quite hero worship but he is exhibiting attention and displaying effort for others whereas he does not exhibit it at home. It definitely can feel rejecting.  There's no need for me to share details or examples...
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: jennalemone - 1 day 13 hours ago
    I have something similar...although I cannot put it into words - it "feels" the same as what you are describing.  With us, it is not exactly like he finds heroes to adore, but he "flirts" with some people (men, women, children that he "gets a rise out of") like a "love sick teenager" leaning in and leering into their eyes all Fred Astaire a-sparkling.  Then turns to me with a disdainful scowl and no words of communion at all.   I know that if he and I were to meet for the first time today, he would be all...
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: PoisonIvy - 1 day 14 hours ago
    I am the non-ADHD former wife of a man with ADHD.  My ex didn't exhibit hero worship but he did become friends with several women (NOT in sexual or romantic ways) in the latter years of our  marriage and it definitely seemed that he liked talking to them more than he liked talking to me.  I felt hurt as a result.
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: un12720 - 2 days 5 hours ago
    My entry needs some clarification.  I neglected to mention that this behavior is bothersome to me, primarily because I feel totally ignored by my spouse.  According to H, I possess no admirable qualities and, basically, fall short in many areas.  So, when H sings the praises of folks he barely knows, it is hurtful to me.   Any thoughts?  
    >>> on Forum topic - hero worship

  • by: vabeachgal - 3 days 7 hours ago
    This is a very interesting thought.  I teach mostly ADD/ADHD kids with behavior issues.  I use candy as a reward in the classroom as many teachers do. It also can immediately quiet them down after a transition period as they turn their attention to the candy rather than whatever else is distracting them. I tend to look for candy with small pieces that they need to eat individually (smarties) or dum dums and jolly ranchers that require some attention (ie. NOT TALKING) If they are sucking on a jolly rancher,...
    >>> on Forum topic - The Sugar Demon

  • by: Hopeful Heart - 3 days 10 hours ago
    My husband has ADHD and most definitely has a wicked sweet tooth. He says that when he was young his mother didn’t allow any sweet treats in the house, so he would go to the sugar canister and pour white sugar directly into his mouth. He also knew all of the houses on his street that kept a supply of candy. He says he would go from house to house eating their candy.  I had never considered this behavior being driven by ADHD. It’s a very interesting thought. 
    >>> on Forum topic - The Sugar Demon

  • by: Confused in Paradise - 3 days 15 hours ago
    I signed up for this site over 2 years ago, because of my frustration and confusion.....It is now come to 5 years into our marriage, two diagnoses, one from a psychologist, and other from a psychiatrist so he could get meds. He knows all the right things to say to the Drs and anyone for that matter, even me, at times. He told the Dr he would do whatever it took, after she gave him a new diet and asked him to stop drinking. Oh, by the way, my husband is also an alcoholic and narcissist. As soon as we got in...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ready to throw in the towel. . .

  • by: Feduplosinghope - 3 days 16 hours ago
    Montana71- not sure if you still follow your post since this was posted last year. But OMG everything you just said just hit the nail on the spot with what I've been dealing with in life with my husband for the last several years. It all came crashing in the hardest about April of this year 2017. He was talking to another woman. And of course as you have felt and heard from your husband it was all my fault. We have seeked counseling and have tried to make things work. But as you said and have felt it seems...
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: phatmama - 3 days 18 hours ago
    Jennamalone, I appreciate your kind words about being good to ourselves.  I would never judge another family as harshly as I judge myself and ours and I believe that is because I have trained in social work and mental health and all my training has made me hyperaware of the potential consequences of children reared in constantly chaotic homes.  The field of trauma research alone has shown that actual brain damage occurs as a result of sustained trauma and that lifelong deficits in emotions, behavior, and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling Guilty

  • by: vabeachgal - 3 days 18 hours ago
    I don't see  sugar addiction in my H.  However, he does enjoy beer, (quite a bit of it) energy drinks, random herbal supplements and diet pills. I see this as a need to self medicate. For example, taking diet pills while eating 2 or 3 fast food meals per day and drinking six cans of beer.  It used to be beer and benadryl at night, followed by fast food and energy drinks in the morning. Regardless of the ADHD, these are really bad habits and will negatively affect a person. LOL.  He will take anything but...
    >>> on Forum topic - The Sugar Demon

  • by: phatmama - 3 days 18 hours ago
    Hopeful Heart, we have done the same thing in our home, or at least I have.  I am very much a "call a spade a spade" type person, and I have explained to my children for years that we love each other and them but that we are not doing a good job at having a healthy family life.  I have apologized for this and taken accountability for my part in the domestic chaos and I have also done LOTS of teaching about the neuroscience of behaviors--the brain and its role in our ability to regulate ourselves adequately...
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling Guilty

  • by: magliner - 4 days 6 hours ago
    My wife has ADHD and the story is similar in our house. We both feel guilty about the fights and frustration that we display in front of our son stemming from me losing my cool about some task she didn't finish. My wife works from home and my son adores her.  I feel guilty that the image I portray when I get home tired is constant frustration and anger towards her. I am everything has place and purpose and should be done the right way the first time type of individual.  Unfinished mess is all I see and I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling Guilty

  • by: MrsADD - 4 days 9 hours ago
    my adhd H is a fiend for sugar. if it is around it will be eaten in a matter of days. now his diet was horrible as a kid as was his parenting. so that may have something to do with it but my daughter is sugar sensative get's extremely hypoglycemic if she eats too much without a protein along with it. she simply does not digest it well I am same.  sugar addiction is real. it is real with alcoholics as well. I have explained this too him and he denies. he is so much nicer and even tempered when he is not...
    >>> on Forum topic - The Sugar Demon

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