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by: TXlady -
I am married to an ADHD man who has been blessed with many talents and abilities and is successful in his career. He can be very fun, intuitive, thoughtful, and attentive. His impulsiveness has been limited to not speaking to others with a filter (which can lead to embarrassment, hurt feelings and anger) and buying the occasional expensive purchase we may or may not use. So in comparison to some stories on here that is pretty mild. On the flip side he is: forgetful-he manages to remember (at...>>> on Forum topic - Finally Divorcing My ADHD Husband
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by: aloneintwo -
In the trenches. Jobless but looking. I still have hope. But yes from happy go lucky to irritated repeatedly>>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this. is comment ka tital kya do '>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: adhd32 -
Sometimes friends see more than we think. Maybe they are relieved that you are out of the marriage and finally able to be you. Maybe they saw you for the first time being relaxed and confident without the worry of what your ex would do or say at the gathering. I'm glad you are rebuilding your life and have chosen to get out and do things that are difficult for you. Moving on is hard, staying stuck is easy. Glad you chose the challenge.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: adhd32 -
Sorry for this, I know how it feels. My undiagnosed ADHD husband did something similar on my birthday after having a very nice dinner. He just went out of control out of nowhere when I mentioned that there was a new a traffic pattern on the road ahead. I thought he would have preferred to take an alternate route before getting stuck without any other options. But he went off the rails without any provocation, screaming at me because "he has been driving for xx years and doesn't need to be told...>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Tampopo -
Hi! New here and wanting to say… I stumbled on this site just after going through an exact “happy chat direct road to screaming” event with my ADHD partner, and I’m currently turning circle in my neighborhood because I felt I needed to leave the house. I don’t know what to say but I hear you and I’m sorry you’re feeling so down and disconnected. These events, however frequent or rare always remind me I have to walk on eggshell and it’s so damn tiresome.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: aloneintwo -
I also have ADHD or ADD. But he basically weaponizes his ADHD to stay the same>>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?
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by: 1Melody1 -
That's such great news!!! Way to go for facing your fears. It's interesting how much we felt defined by our partners in these situations and how well we can find our own way when we're not impacted by all the space that they and the stress occupied. I'm so happy you could reconnect with these people. ❤️>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Swedish coast -
Dear forum friends who advised about the party. It turned out so well! I spent most of the evening with the old friends, six of them, and it was almost completely pain free. I could never have guessed it. We spoke of a lot of things, I listened mostly, nobody mentioned my divorce. Back in those days when spending time with them was incredibly painful, I had no idea of the ADD diagnosis, or could even make a connection between the pain, ridicule and my husband. But now it’s strikingly...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Dagmar -
You only think they chose him over you, maybe he had a different story. It's also entirely possible they think you're the stick in the mud. My husband has some friends who don't like me because they have only heard his side of the story. Before you go, sit down and come up with a one-sentence statement about what happened. Something like "I've missed you since husband and I broke up. His unmedicated ADHD put such a strain on our lives that I needed a lot of time to recover, but I'm glad...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: 1Melody1 -
Good luck, Swedish Coast... I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well!! Thank goodness we have each other in this community! ❤️>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: Swedish coast -
Melody, Sickandtired, Honestly, you all just showed how great friends can be. I’ll go to the party, bearing your excellent advice about focus and conversation topics in mind. I’ll carry your kindness with me. You can’t know just how much this helped today and how grateful I am. Have a nice weekend.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: honestly -
When we’re feeling vulnerable and worn and exhausted and jealous (and I have felt all these things) it is easy to also overthink and over interpret what is going on with others. I’ve done it. It’s largely because, I think, our needs are not remotely being met by our partners and so we look to friends and their lives and feel awful, and we want what they have and we need their support but there’s no way they can fill that need because they are busy with their own lives and they have their own partners...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: sickandtired -
If you go, you will be facing your fears and I guarantee you, it will make you stronger. Learning to step out of your comfort zone is an important key to healing from divorce. I know you are afraid of ridicule or rejection from these people, but you might be pleasantly surprised. Be there to honor your close friend, and don’t get consumed by worrying about what others think of you. Sending you a hug.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: 1Melody1 -
I can really empathize with encountering these types of interactions for the first time after your separation. I found it really hard too, whether it was my own gossipy family members wanting the inside scoop or a room full of our "couple" friends. The first time is always anxiety-provoking. I would suggest that people may be curious to see you for the first time in awhile knowing what happened, but they are also totally obsessed with their own lives and probably aren't thinking about this...>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: MelissaOrlov -
I agree that your best route is to seek help immediately from your doctor. If you don't currently have a mental health professional, please go to your primary care provider, describe your situation, and request a referral to a mental health provider.>>> on Forum topic - First Time Request for Help
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by: 1Melody1 -
I'd say "it's complicated," but I definitely still loved him. More platonically than when we were in love romantically. And I had learned enough not to wish us together again. Never again. However, once his behaviours affected me less it was easier to see the parts I fell in love with and appreciate them again. It was also easier for him to be that guy again without the family responsibilities. Having said that, there were a couple of years at the end of our marriage I felt the complete opposite. I...>>> on Forum topic - Avoid him entirely?
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by: honestly -
It’s a strange comfort to hear how others’ lives here track one’s own. It diffuses some of the guilt, I think; the sense of failure; it helps clarify the muddied waters. I so often feel like the bad guy - have been made to feel like the bad guy - it’s good to see that really we are all just archetypes in this, cast in a role which is not of our making, and stuck with it until we get out of the relationship. And then beyond, if we continue to hear it.>>> on Forum topic - I’m angry; he isn’t. This makes a change at least.
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by: honestly -
the idea that this anger can be useful - thank you! I already see that now you’ve pointed it out- I’ve been able to say ‘no’ to him and he’s taken it, for once, as a no. In the past he’d always consider my ‘I don’t really want to’ as far less important than his ‘I do want to’ so we’d end up living his life - holidaying with his ex and her family for years, for eg. Taking on commitments he wanted but I had to deal with the repercussions of. Now he just gets No and I there’s nothing he can do about it....>>> on Forum topic - I’m angry; he isn’t. This makes a change at least.
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