Recent Comments
- by: jp03 - I hope you are doing okay today.. If you really would like to know, I could email you. Those videos wouldn't help much on the ADHD subject though, they just help me to realize things that I forgot I should do or behave in certain situations. I think you really love that man, like I do with mine, and that's why we are here even after the break up. But I believe that they have to step up in the game, to gain back our trust and affection..One thing I realized after reading information on this...>>> on Forum topic - Do they ever miss you
- by: Is_there_hope_left - INTENSE Theraphy is exactly what he needs and hyper focused is exactly what happened smh now it makes sense. I did tell the first and second councelours of the coldness and the manipulation, how he's dismissed my daughter and everything else. The first one saw us together and then wanted to see him individually so we did that for a few months. He came home and said that the councelour had said that I was the crazy one that needed help and I got very upset and didn't go back only to find out later that he...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Is_there_hope_left - I do think there is more than the adhd diagnosis. Unfortunately he’s just getting started and who knows how long it will take. I primarily got tired of his coldness towards my daughter and once I saw that happening I didn’t see a future. That’s when I sought counseling only to find out that in their eyes I’m the one that’s wrong. I also got tired of the negative comments, me feeling controlled and manipulated, his coldness towards my daughter and his constant up and downs. He didn’t think there was...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: sickandtired - Marriage counseling (Christian or secular) is not what you primarily need in this situation. He needs to commit to intensive therapy on his own as an individual. This person should be a licensed professional clinical therapist. Perhaps the pastors did not understand your daily home environment. If you have told the pastors the details and the frequency of his emotional abuse and outbursts, that have you describing your marriage of only 11 months as a “ROLLERCOASTER”, I would not want to go to any church...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Will It Get Better - if she is the only person to make such a determination then she'll never take one. You'd expect more from an 'ADHD-trained' professional. (I am shaking my head on your behalf.)>>> on Forum topic - "As needed"
- by: Is_there_hope_left - Hi, I get what you are saying. My daughters mental health is my top priority and in 11 months there have been way too many changes within the family dynamic and us switching churches several times because I don't agree with the councelours and pastors suggesting that I put the marriage above my daughter. Do remember his diagnosis is new and although there has been mental abuse I was unsure because according to councelours I'm supposed to wait it out and continue praying and give him time to get on meds....>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Is_there_hope_left - Not only is the marriage new, I’m still trying to figure out how we got here. When we dated he was so good to my daughter and I. He was so calm. He never got upset but not with us and not like now. The changes and his anger shifted toward us a few months in and its more intense. This diagnosis is new. I thought he was bipolar because he goes up and down so much. Unfortunately he does have childhood trauma that is affecting him now and instead of having compassion for my daughter he gets angry at her and...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: sickandtired - Please tell us what the “disturbing comments” were that you mentioned he said, and please tell us what happened to make you throw him out the first time. He may have more psychiatric issues than just ADHD. It is not uncommon for Bipolar or Borderline personality disorders to accompany ADHD.>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: sickandtired - I have to agree with Melody here, and I think you may have misinterpreted your daughter’s crying after you threw him out of your house the first time. Kids need stability, and she was probably reacting to the chaos he caused that led to your first breakup. Also, I am sure she saw you upset and crying a lot during that time, and she was modeling your behavior. It is heartbreaking for a child to see her mother crying and being mistreated. And Melody is right that she will forget him if you end this soon. ...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Is_there_hope_left - And you are right it has only gotten worse. Every next time he has an outburst he's more cold and disconnected. He's either doing what he likes or work and then is just sleeping away (probably to avoid the situation). I've become SO UPSET with myself for not only choosing the wrong partner but for also for listening to the councelours and staying with him instead of divorcing him. A few months after we got married he made some very disturbing comments so my guard was up and that's when I knew something...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Loopdaloop - I'm unsure how to pm here?. But it's so similar even to him planting seeds in my head calling me stroppy knickers, saying I must have been mistaken over things, saying I had morbid jealousy, that I need to work on my issues. Even at the end the final straw was him doing me a favour- badly. Yet he never apologised for that just said he was angry at me cancelling plans and was sick of my negativity/nagging so cut me dead and said it was over. What I learnt from my ex and reading on this forum is there is...>>> on Forum topic - Do they ever miss you
- by: jp03 - Hello I'm here for the same question. You just described my relationship, except for the money from mommy issue. I initiated the break up. This is not the first time. Everytime I got mad at him for the distraction, flirting, thoughtless words, most of the time he just let me be. He triggered the insecurity in me. I started to nag more, suspect more, withdraw more. Eventually he started calling me names for reacting to his behaviors. I admit that I'm at fault too, but it is horrible to feel unloved from...>>> on Forum topic - Do they ever miss you
- by: 1Melody1 - "Is there any hope with medication?" So many of us on here have uttered that refrain. The answer is "maybe," but only if your husband wants it to work, takes it reliably and possibly adds therapy to the mix too. Medication isn't magic - there has to be a will behind it and an understanding of what's wrong. When my ADHD ex took meds for a short time, he used them to stay up all night, refused to take them during family time and did not pull his weight any more than he did when he wasn't on meds. Meds didn'...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Will It Get Better - I am a man who supported an ADHD wife for decades only to have her demand divorce because she was 'angry' ('enraged' was closer to reality). During the last years of multiple counselors, multiple repeated diagnoses of ADHD, and evolving medication paths nothing made a difference. 'Medication' is a fleeting hope that dissipates in the raging winds of ADHD symptoms. It might be wonderful if 'medication' clarified his behavior (and he maintained whatever the current 'medication' regime is). You and your...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: sickandtired - You’ve been married 11 months. Look at some of the others on this forum for what happens regarding progress with these types of issues after 20 or 30 years of the “non” trying to deal with someone who can’t or won’t see the effects they have on others. It breaks my heart that your 6 year old daughter has packed a little bag and threatened to run away. She’s crying out to you, “This is unacceptable!”>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Is_there_hope_left - I was hoping to hear that he may get better with medication and counseling. We have talked and he knows 100% I choose my daughter. This too has upset him in the past (me saying that). The councelour that we had spoken to before had advised us not to go the divorce route because of how division hurts children and that no one is perfect and I will have issues with someone else, they’ll just be different. Time is what people suggest, as in time for everything to fall into place. I come from a broken family so...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: sickandtired - Hi. It’s obvious that he is emotionally abusive... not only to you, but he is abusive to your innocent daughter. You chose to have him in your life, but your little 6 year old daughter has no choice. He can’t handle being around you when you are with your daughter? He’s jealous of the relationship you have with her. How selfish and immature. If you feel like you have to choose to be with him or your daughter, I hope you choose your daughter. He is damaging her self esteem, and forcing her into situations...>>> on Forum topic - So confused, exhausted & hurt.
- by: Is_there_hope_left - I’m new on here and I can relate to mostly a little bit of what everyone is struggling with. My husband just got diagnosed 2 weeks ago so he’s still waiting to be put on medication. I’ve experienced us being out and him saying he is VERY uncomfortable but looking totally fine. It used to really upset me cause we’d be out and he’d be all happy and then we’d get home and he’d LOSE it! Saying he’s so unhappy and he can’t do it anymore, he doesn’t trust anyone, always thinks others are talking about him or...>>> on Forum topic - Positive Report from Non ADHD Spouse
- by: c ur self - Laying their awake in a self absorbed mind, framing together all the reason's why it's your fault....If you verbally respond you've lost....He has no ability of ownership...Only blame...Most self absorbed add minds are the same....No quiet voice of reason and truth can't be heard....You speak you lose.... You and I and people in our situation can enjoy the calm moments of fellowship, but, if we don't accept, realize and expect the self absorbed mind of denial to flare up when they can't force their will...>>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning
- by: C-love - Thank you C- I purposely got on here this morning to read something from you as you live in a world of peace now. My ADHD husband has been responding so different since I have reacted differently and been kind. So much so that I wrote a post on a positive report. I will stand by the post because its in obedience to what God is asking me to do in my marriage. However I have had about 5 hours of sleep after my loving sweet kind husband who has been listening to Melissa's book and apologizing for his ADHD...>>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning