Recent Comments

  • by: c ur self - 7 hours 27 min ago
    Every thing you are (putting yourself through) experiencing has nothing to do w/ your husband....If you haven't been effected by his add, you want be....Adhd/add is measured on a sliding scale...Your spouse may only experience a few of the characteristics at a high enough level to be a bother to him....And from the sounds of it, he has done the internal work with in himself to control that... I know many people w/ add that are great people, that hold down very challenging jobs, and very busy lives, and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Needing major advice....

  • by: jennalemone - 15 hours 18 min ago
    Ive been reading about bullying and how a bully gravitates to someone who is willing to play the victim.  The bully's ego is fed when he can have power over the victim.  I think this is how H gets by.  He knows he makes me feel bad and it makes him feel in control.  When bullies are left alone, they want to have a "victim" back.  The only thing is that, many of us women were conditioned to be feminine and we didn't realize that part of being feminine is being weaker, more helpless, softer. I am stopping...
    >>> on Forum topic - Putting it into words

  • by: dedelight4 - 16 hours 14 min ago
        I've read these posts, and am sharing the same feelings as all of you here. I have been looking and regretting all the years of decisions that I MADE, as well as going along with my husband's decisions,  that helped create the mess we are in now. It almost destroyed me, to see all the years of waste, regret, hurt, financial loss, loss of health, and just the loss of YEARS, trying to make a LIFE WORK with someone who "couldn't" and sometimes "wouldn't" be in a marriage. I wanted it to work SO BAD...
    >>> on Forum topic - Putting it into words

  • by: love that girl - 1 day 7 hours ago
    Research adhd and desr.  important for you and we DO care about YOU!.  Read this.  http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/40/slide-5.html
    >>> on Forum topic - Is it ADHD or just bad attitude

  • by: love that girl - 1 day 7 hours ago
    It sounds like you are all in....that is great.  If this all works for you what a blessing.  Give it more time and stay in touch here.  Let us know how its going and share any points of challenges.....there is a wealth of resources here for you in terms of people who care and care about you!  Keep up the good work and bless you for your support of him and through your sharing US as well!  thanks
    >>> on Forum topic - Needing major advice....

  • by: love that girl - 1 day 7 hours ago
    hI dedelight!  Wow what profound feelings.  You are an incredible person indeed.  As for the unwinding of things,,,you have made incredible progress already,  Perhaps better to just go your way, I don't really know.  It is words from people like you that make me prepared to just turn away, people like us are ever hopeful somehow......love perhaps.  One last word....seem like you are ready to continue on with YOUR life....a goal of mine too.  Thank you and be blessed sweet girl.   Peace
    >>> on Forum topic - (Former) Partner with ADHD "Can't Form Personal Connections"

  • by: dedelight4 - 1 day 8 hours ago
    This is a subject that I've been thinking about a lot lately also. My ADHD husband ALSO can not make connections with people, but especially not with me, or our daughters. He connects in very shallow, surface type ways. He has limited conversations, (politics especially, but NO personal talk) and gets defensive at the slightest HINT of anything that he perceives as "criticism".(even if it isn't) But, his "connections" with people are more like him talking to others about himself, and how much of a genius...
    >>> on Forum topic - (Former) Partner with ADHD "Can't Form Personal Connections"

  • by: love that girl - 2 days 7 hours ago
    If I may offer my two cents....Non-ADHD male experienced with ex SO female (C).  Poison Ivy I understand.  With my love she CAN'T form personal connections. I saw it many times, in her case she couldn't because she might be found out.  That's what happened to me when  I discovered the fact of the ADHD and offered to work with her. C would be fine with anyone as long as the "A" word was not mentioned or "when will you finally get your act together" question came up.  Big time denial present.   I went to a...
    >>> on Forum topic - (Former) Partner with ADHD "Can't Form Personal Connections"

  • by: daizzebelle - 2 days 15 hours ago
    I think it is very smart of you to kick him to the curb. I wish you every happiness, you deserve it!
    >>> on Forum topic - Telling ADHD spouse to leave...

  • by: redhead1017 - 2 days 18 hours ago
    I've been married for 25  years to a man who has never been able to hold a job, who is a perpetual child, who has never once taken responsibility for himself, etc. The standard ADHD crapfest that for some reason we're supposed to celebrate. I've thought about divorce every day for years, but because of low self-esteem and the fact I also have a special needs disabled son I've not done anything to get myself out of this mess.  I am not proud of the fact that I've stayed this long, I don't see anything...
    >>> on Forum topic - I salute all the spouses that stayed with their ADHD partners, YOU ARE GODS. YOU ARE SAINTS. YOU ARE ANGELS. 

  • by: adhd32 - 2 days 19 hours ago
    I have yet to figure this trait out. H had a life-long friend who was dying and H just refused to call him or visit him. He didn't offer any help to the family and just felt sorry for himself.  I felt like a fool going to the guys wake. He was my friend too but the connection was through my socially inept spouse who cannot seem to deal with any uncomfortable feelings.  Two weekends ago he was annoyed with me because he wants to spend a social weekend with another life-long friend of his and his wife. I...
    >>> on Forum topic - (Former) Partner with ADHD "Can't Form Personal Connections"

  • by: jennalemone - 2 days 23 hours ago
    Now that I see this in words, I have to say that this might be the case with my H also.  I can't know what the depth of his connections are because he does not share with me his real thoughts or feelings (not a trusting connection here either).   But I might ask those with ADD.  Do you feel that you have a difficult time making personal connections?  J, it seems to me that you have been putting out a great effort to connect with us and with your wife, so maybe this is not something all ADDers have, but...
    >>> on Forum topic - (Former) Partner with ADHD "Can't Form Personal Connections"

  • by: c ur self - 3 days 21 hours ago
    I just hope you can step back and see what those of us reading this see....It's so hard to see the reality of what is actually taking place in a relationship when there is personal feelings and emotional attachment.... Based on your post he has no clue about responsibility, considering others, and no ability or desire to not use you as his maid....He so looks at you as his Mother and care giver that any time you point out his abuse he will turn it on you...It's probably not intentional he just hasn't ever...
    >>> on Forum topic - Telling ADHD spouse to leave...

  • by: Jtim24 - 4 days 11 hours ago
    Right after I posted this, I forced him out...   Just today, I told him he could move back in. After all, texts and phone calls every day blaming me for erything wrong in his life, from lost clothes due to being forced to live in a hotel, to stolen credit card information, to packages he ordered but never recieved... I felt like now, after a month, maybe he'd learned a lesson or two... I'm too optmistic... I get a text at work, "mopped floors, taking dogs to beach." Milily surprised, but I sent a "thank...
    >>> on Forum topic - Telling ADHD spouse to leave...

  • by: jennalemone - 4 days 14 hours ago
    I was just reading a few of my own past entrys and had to laugh when I re-read this from another poster.  "I do worry about my marbles." That is where i am right about now.  Oh, my.
    >>> on Forum topic - Putting it into words

  • by: TellTaleArt - 4 days 14 hours ago
    ... finally after years of intermittent abuse he went to the doctor, got his diagnosis straightened out and went on Adderall. It''s only been a week and he is aggressive daily now. I don't have a husband anymore. He seems to be an almost normal person in the mornings when he takes his meds, and then as the day progresses he gets impulsive and every word of mine makes him shake, close his eyes and rant, literally anything sets him off which he denies of course. Mocking my illness, tellng me I'm useless and...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADD husband always ruins holidays

  • by: jennalemone - 4 days 15 hours ago
    You said: I oscillate between dreaming of my future without him and fearing a future without him.  I feel like he is my third child and I worry about his future.  If i give him half of our money, built over a lifetime, i fear he will squander it all and divorced or not, i will take pity and want to help him. Me too.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Sadhopedespair - 4 days 15 hours ago
    I agree with what you said, and especially the last paragraph.  She is obviously a young mum.  Amazing they know about the diagnosis and getting some treatment but it seems he is still like a child.  I was her, but didn't know all she knows, at her young age.  Now my kids are in their 20's and I can tell you, the ADHD is slowly killing me.  Stress, feeling overwhelmed, depression.  I turned to alcohol more and more until I realized it was a problem and have been sober many years.  But then I smoke both...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Sadhopedespair - 4 days 16 hours ago
    Oh how I wish I could talk to you.  There is a tv show in Canada called The Nature of Things on CBC, they just aired an episode on ADHD. Everybody should watch it.  My husband was diagnosed specifically with low Exec Functioning and low working memory.  Organization is a huge problem.  I'm 54 and he is 57.  I think I also have ADHD but nowhere near as bad as him.  I'm now at the end of my rope.  At least your hubby takes Adderal!  Mine seems to be not believing his diagnosis, almost insulted by the...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Degalisto - 5 days 20 hours ago
    I too had a mom that kept us whipped in to shape..I think it has helped me immeasurably with organizing and surviving life with ADHD.It helped my with school too. My house is OK..I realize that when the dust bunnies turn into rabbits it is time to clean! I put on some good music and set the timer.. After making a list of what to stick too!! Clean the whole room don't get side tracked and sort my sock drawer! LOL Yahoo organized moms!
    >>> on Blog entry - ADHD and Household Chores

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