Recent Comments

  • by: Sollertiae - 7 hours 49 min ago
    I am sorry, anger is so destructive and non more so than to the holder of it. You maybe said it yourself though - there are some other things to do before you can forgive or even lay down the frustration, hurt and rage. I know lots of people say it is a choice and not a process, but if you can't, then there is something stopping you and it would be best to locate a  to work with and around it. Perhaps it is mourning what you hoped and dreamed of, and finding either reconciliation with that, or a way to...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to forgive when you know it won’t stop

  • by: Sollertiae - 8 hours 4 min ago
    Oof. One long, hot holiday. The arguing in the car ride does sound like overwhelm for your daughter met under stimulation for your wife (the fact she didn't see the screaming). Then ran off into some sort of hideous spiral with one finding stimulation from the other, and the other not coping. With a side of poor reading of others emotions. In a locked room. Ouch. After that time at Meow Wolf where I zigged and my partner zagged into oblivion, I usually ask where where he wants to meet for when we all get...
    >>> on Forum topic - Vacation - ADHD came along

  • by: c ur self - 11 hours 35 min ago
    Hi...I've been married to you for 11 years..:)....What are you two doing about boundaries? The only way for you to stop punishing him w/ your life style, is boundaries...It's definitely better than divorce....If your husband would like someone to discuss this with, (lol, that truly understands) he can send me a personal email....I am pretty sure if you click on my screen name (c ur self) you will be able to do that with a personal contact form.... My wife is very add... (adderall) Just like you, same...
    >>> on Forum topic - He’s THISCLOSE to leaving me: re-traumatized reading ADHD marriage book

  • by: c ur self - 11 hours 58 min ago
    I don't think it's humanly possible to forgive at a level that can cause us to forfeit our lives in this world...I think the only way to experience that kind of healing and acceptance, (of our plight) is found in the person of the Christ.... As long as I viewed her day to day living (chaos, ugly outbursts, refusing to put any effort or energy into what she vowed to be in the marriage relationship, self-absorbed mind) as some how robbery to my "good" life....Then I suffered w/ anger, and bitterness........
    >>> on Forum topic - How to forgive when you know it won’t stop

  • by: adhd32 - 16 hours 11 min ago
    IMO the best thing to do, now that you are aware of how ADD is affecting your marriage, is to stop focusing on your husband and work on the things he has complained about for years.  Timeliness, organization, time management, etc.  Show him that you are serious about changing.  He doesn't want to trust you because he has been let down over and over; why should this time be different?  Let him see that you are serious about doing better.  Get yourself help from a life coach rather than pushing for more...
    >>> on Forum topic - He’s THISCLOSE to leaving me: re-traumatized reading ADHD marriage book

  • by: bowlofpetunias - 16 hours 38 min ago
    On the positive side, the lines were really short.
    >>> on Forum topic - Vacation - ADHD came along

  • by: SydAcct - 20 hours 4 min ago
    There might be another factor  besides ADHD. Before and after ADHD diagnosis reads like two different people. Hard working, driven and focused versus apathetic. When I was getting back to work anxiety was a bigger obstacle than ADHD.  I hope things improve       
    >>> on Forum topic - Avoiding Confrontation with ADHD Spouse

  • by: ladylamb - 1 day 48 min ago
    does this ever sound like my husband!! when my husband starts fights i walk away or do not respond. i catch him looking out of the corner of his eye to see if i'm paying attention-if im not paying attention-he stops.
    >>> on Forum topic - Nearly 29 and still a Violent 5yr old

  • by: ladylamb - 1 day 59 min ago
    my husband has many memory lapses especially if his routine is broken or lack of sleep. i used to argue with him, but quit and let him find his way.
    >>> on Forum topic - Lapses in memory

  • by: vabeachgal - 1 day 7 hours ago
    Yep, the killer of phones.  Please tell me you weren't there during this crazy heat wave. It's been hot here!!!! Like Satansville hot! 
    >>> on Forum topic - Vacation - ADHD came along

  • by: 1Melody1 - 1 day 11 hours ago
    Hi L, I just wanted to chime in and say how sorry I am that you are at the point you are. I would say that I am pretty close to where your husband is at as the non-spouse myself. There was a long while I wished my spouse would wake up and see things, but even if he did right now and claimed to be willing to do the work, I am not sure if I would be able to do the work required on my end... and I probably wouldn't believe him because most of his history is broken promises. It feels so insurmountable...
    >>> on Forum topic - He’s THISCLOSE to leaving me: re-traumatized reading ADHD marriage book

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 15 hours ago
    It's not about adhd...It's about what happens to our attempted relationships when there is justification, and denial instead of humility and ownership.....This web site probably wouldn't exist...(or would be used as only a learning site) if it wasn't for denial of destructive behaviors......The only reason there can be hope is ownership and seeing our needs....(for both spouses)....There has to be something (someone) that brings us to our knees, and allows us to see our selfishness, and what our actions...
    >>> on Forum topic - What should my reaction be to inappropriate jokes?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 1 day 15 hours ago
    "But the bigger picture to me is how he won’t just have the humility to own it. Instead, let’s avoid it, dig in deeper, or act like the wife is the one with the problem.  I’m tired of the childish response.  I want an adult response." I want this in poster-size. Or on one of those giant banners pulled by an airplane. Absolutely right, Brindle.
    >>> on Forum topic - What should my reaction be to inappropriate jokes?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 1 day 15 hours ago
    Oh my goodness, do I every know what you mean. I am quite scared of stinging insects and one day when I was unloading my groceries from the cart to the trunk, a bunch of bees swarmed my grocery bags - maybe 8 or 9. There was definitely a smell or something that they wanted. I was terrified and really struggling to grab the bags and get them in my car, while keeping the bees out. A man came along with his wife and he came over and just grabbed the bags for me and got them in the car. He fought the bees away...
    >>> on Forum topic - What should my reaction be to inappropriate jokes?

  • by: Angie_H - 1 day 16 hours ago
    Hi, kdak9,    My husband also has memory lapses. He claims something relatively new is the way he has always done it or some relatively new thing is 'the one' we've had for years.    He was an early adopter of low wattage light bulbs, even when they took a long time to warm up, and they were dim when first turned on. We have a lamp with a three-way bulb, and only two settings work. I've been asking him to replace the bulb. (Why? Because he moves things around, and I often don't know if we have something...
    >>> on Forum topic - Lapses in memory

  • by: Brindle - 1 day 17 hours ago
    Question:  how long did it take you to grieve?   My husband appears to be in complete denial.  We’ve been in this place for so long that I think I need to just begin grieving for the point of moving on in my heart.  I don’t want to leave him for several reasons, so I don’t mean moving on in that way.  I mean I can’t stay in this place of perpetual agony.  I have to grieve the past AND the future.   I’ve already been so angry and sad for so long... how will this be any different than that?   I don’t...
    >>> on Blog entry - How to Grieve for the Relationship You Didn't Get

  • by: Sollertiae - 1 day 22 hours ago
    Thank you taking the time :)
    >>> on Forum topic - Nons- what benefits have you gotten from their adhd fallout?

  • by: Sollertiae - 1 day 22 hours ago
    I think you are right - lack of impulse control and over commitment to being funny (and therefore feeling more engaging and part of the group) often sound like self absorption, because basically means they are getting no social cues or input outside of their head. Tone deaf and not listening. Breaking through is only going to get a bad reaction because you've either stopped the flow and focus, or shamed him in public. If you aren't enjoying it then... I don't have many suggestions other than removing...
    >>> on Forum topic - What should my reaction be to inappropriate jokes?

  • by: Brindle - 2 days 1 hour ago
    Your humorous side of things made me chuckle.  What great benefits, lol!
    >>> on Forum topic - Nons- what benefits have you gotten from their adhd fallout?

  • by: Brindle - 2 days 1 hour ago
    I loved reading it. Thank you for writing all of that out!  
    >>> on Forum topic - Nons- what benefits have you gotten from their adhd fallout?

Pages