Recent Comments

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 22 min 36 sec ago
    Oh, wow, Jenna.  That would drive me nuts (what your husband does).  I'm not that severe.  It sounds like he has ADHD without hyperactivity, possibly?  I have seen that in other people.  Do you think he is a bit on the spectrum or has a learning disability?  Does this frequently happen, or more often when he is emotional, trying to process something in an area of weakness, or when you ask an open-ended question?   I need more information (teacher here), but if he's not aware of what's going on or how it...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: barneyarff - 3 hours 6 min ago
    It sounds like you are trying to "cure" several situations at once, ie not smoking, off meds, etc. Would you consider just tackling one situation at a time?   Doing it all at once sounds very ADD and is likely to fail unless you are in a place that is taking care of your day to day needs. As for your sister......    Well, relationships are like bank accounts in a way.  How many times have you taken out of the relationship account without putting anything back in?   Has she had to bail you out before?  ...
    >>> on Forum topic - Heartbroken...Don't Know What to Do?

  • by: jennalemone - 3 hours 46 min ago
    ADHDMomof2 Thank you for sharing this about "time delay".  My H has long pauses between his sentences.  Where sometimes he pauses and 30 seconds will go by before the next sentence comes out. Sometimes I will interject within the 30 seconds and he, angrily, yells at me like "Can I finish?". And sometimes 30 seconds go by and I give a verbal cue (as I am still waiting for him to complete his thought) and he will say something like, "What?" "That's all."  when clearly he was in the middle of a thought and it...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: c ur self - 4 hours 4 min ago
    I love what you are doing...I'm proud of you, this is a great post...We can pray for your sister, we all need prayer...We all have our own battles, it sounds like she is struggling.... My Step Son and his wife have been working on a Tiny House for several months...(paying as they go)...They are close to completion...and are fixing to let there apartment lease go....I think they will enjoy it for a while...No kids, just one great dog that minds real well.... Being debt free is a great feeling.... c  
    >>> on Forum topic - Heartbroken...Don't Know What to Do?

  • by: c ur self - 14 hours 6 min ago
    At some point we have to refuse to fight about our differences....All we are doing  is robbing ourselves of beautiful days and loving interactions, when we keep having pissing contests about he said, she said..REALLY! WOW! (talking to myself here) All of us really..LOL....There is no hope if both parties don't lay down the ax, learn humility, and how to ask for forgiveness...And forgive....It's not difficult to tell if someone cares!....And if someone is trying!...If selfishness is going to rule the day...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: Hopeful Heart - 18 hours 27 min ago
    I think your sisters actions say more about her than about you. It sounds like she’s guarded. If I remember correctly, you both grew up in a difficult family home environment. She probably developed different coping mechanisms than you. I know it sounds cliche, but try not to take it personally. It’s impossible to know what her motivations were. There’s a good chance that her motivations for reacting the way she did were totally unrelated to you. I know first hand how devastating it is to be rejected by...
    >>> on Forum topic - Heartbroken...Don't Know What to Do?

  • by: PoisonIvy - 18 hours 52 min ago
    kellyj, if someone said that to me, I would be heartbroken and livid.  I'm sorry your sister was cruel to you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Heartbroken...Don't Know What to Do?

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 19 hours 32 min ago
    Sometimes, it is because he starts talking to me because my attention has not yet turned to him.  I have a time delay sometimes. ;) I have learned to make him back up when this happens.  He doesn't love it, but too bad.  I tell him that I hadn't turned my attention yet when he had started talking.  Other times, my brain turns the simplest question into the construction of Rome, and I answer the wrong thing.  I have no idea how to stop this one.  Definitely worse when I am stressed, and when we are fighting...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: jennalemone - 19 hours 47 min ago
    "I'm off my meds, stopped smoking, and am working on celibacy."  Stopping smoking alone was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I literally, physically hurt my jaw by chewing gum so hard  for so long during quitting smoking that my jaw was out of joint for a while afterwards. It seems to me you are trying to do too many "good" but stressful things all at once.  That is too much stress all at once.  I believe you would better serve your self by doing each of those things for/to yourself one...
    >>> on Forum topic - Heartbroken...Don't Know What to Do?

  • by: SweetandSour - 23 hours 26 min ago
    Oh no!  I'm so sorry.
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 1 day 2 hours ago
    He was also very specific with his plans.  :(  I'm so sad, but I'm going to do my best.
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 1 day 2 hours ago
    I'm not sure it will help, but I'm going do do my best. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow.  I'm going to see what she has to say about this.  This is not the first time he has threatened this, by far.  However, he is depressed, and is making some bad decisions.
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: Zapp10 - 1 day 22 hours ago
    I am sorry that I did not reference your H's frustration with this particular occurrence (conversations...from simple to pressing) that happen through out the day. My view on this(not necessarily right here) ....communication verbally between ANYONE can have misunderstandings. My comprehension is no better than my H's and I have lots of oops moments. However, Adhd does add a bit more spice to the ease of conversing and it is not going to improve unless both parties AGREE not to go frustrated and this is a...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: SweetandSour - 2 days 1 hour ago
    I think you should send your husband your initial post at least.  Reading something allows one to concentrate on the content without having to process the delivery at the same time.  And you did a very good job expressing yourself.  Please, reconsider - I think it could be very helpful to him and thus to both of you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: c ur self - 2 days 2 hours ago
    Denial comes about because of the pain of true self reflection....Our true selves (the fleshly state) can make cowards out of us all....So we give ourselves a lollipop or put a band-aid on it, (self help talks, how to books, etc) until it happens again....Only truth can free us...But truth has to go where the pain lives, expose it, and wash away the shame and hurt of it....Only then can the death grip of denial be released.... Truth is a person... c 
    >>> on Forum topic - one reason ADHD results in so much relationship difficulty

  • by: dedelight4 - 2 days 3 hours ago
    Yep, this fear seems to be a massive issue with many folks. Dealing with emotions is not always pleasant, but avoiding them can be disastrous.      DH has always prided himself by saying "I'm not an emotional person". This makes me laugh because his first "go to" is always anger/frustration, which IS an emotion. He gets defensive immediately, and even though I've been patient a LOT with it, lately, I'm not as patient any more. It's hard when the spouse stays in denial about their symptoms, and the fear...
    >>> on Forum topic - one reason ADHD results in so much relationship difficulty

  • by: c ur self - 2 days 4 hours ago
    Presentation is everything...I can't think for your husband...But if my wife approaches me calmly, respectfully I will do my best to hear her out....Because I love her, and she deserve it!...If she approaches me disrepectfully (demanding or controlling,) I know it's time to walk away because I deserve it!... At some point your husband will have to decide what is selfish concession seeking, (not saying you ever do this, but, based on your comment, he may see it that way) and what is wisdom... The most...
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 2 days 5 hours ago
    Thank you, Zapp10, for the kind words.  I don't think he would benefit from the words.  It's actions he cares about, but thank you for your thoughts. :)    What do you mean by the communication issues that drive nons nuts?  Asking because the more feedback I receive, the better I hope to understand my role and improve my situation.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: Zapp10 - 2 days 6 hours ago
    I am speechless after reading your posts. You so very well explained how you think and feel in the "communication" issue that drives us nons nuts. A huge thank you!   is there any chance you can show your H these posts? Your articulation is so sincere and clear. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Impulsivity and "Me Mode" Help, please! Thank you :)!

  • by: ADHDMomof2 - 2 days 7 hours ago
    Jenna,  First, may I say, and I do not say this often about ANYBODY, what a gifted writer you are?  Were you an English teacher or professor?   Secondly, my dad set a great example for me, in that you are never too old to change.  When one considers he is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, that is something.  Flexibility of mind is not a trait noted among people with his type of brain.  He also has been in AA for decades, and continues to evolve and amaze me.  This is his GREATEST gift...
    >>> on Forum topic - My history. My children's future.

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