Recent Comments

  • by: Terra - 25 min 4 sec ago
    Sorry I missed this, JJamieson. I very much enjoyed reading your response. I know others have said so before me, still, let me chime in with them to say you have a gift for communication. Thank you !
    >>> on Forum topic - We both have ADHD, Depression, and We're starting to resent each other...

  • by: NowOrNever - 2 hours 16 min ago
    ...I think that's the only way.  Maybe in time, without you, he'll see what feelings he does have for you.  Please read Melissa Orlov's mid December post, under her blog entries.   I know it's a sad thing to wish to be with someone who doesnt want that, or has lost his way.   Hugs to you for wanting him well.   Now
    >>> on Forum topic - Falling out of love

  • by: SpaceyStacey197... - 8 hours 36 min ago
    DependentOrigination really nailed it.  Dont give up, you are on the right track - but things do not just magically change.  If you havent read Melissa's book yet - I encourage you AND your partner to read it.  It will help you make sense of it, help him to UNDERSTAND it, and it will help both of you to come up with strategies to work together in managing the ADHD tendencies.   DO is so right, so many of us here wish our partners had the guts you have.  You are facing things, and that is good!  Its going...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: c ur self - 9 hours 13 min ago
    I think people in general dislike seeing anyone getting taken advantage of...Just a thought, but, I would guess this nice man is one of them. I really hope ur x responds and does the right thing...Like you said, the whole deal is painful enough.... Wishing many blessings your way! C
    >>> on Forum topic - I Am Overwhelmed When People Are Nice to Me

  • by: SpaceyStacey197... - 9 hours 31 min ago
    DO - well said.   Also - I want to point out that the VERY NAME of this forum indicates that anger and frustrations would be vented, discussed and worked through.  No one should come in to this forum section and expect roses and joy (though you get to work your way through to FIND those things).   my 2 cents for what thats worth....
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: JJamieson - 10 hours 4 min ago
    I had a kind of revelation the other day with my wife..and as I talked to her more about this...something really important came to the surface?  This happened at a critical moment...of being dismissed and feeling hurt ( my blood pressure spiked and went through the roof ) from something seemingly so simple...that I suddenly realized what it was?  And something along the lines of what you said an extremely important point not to miss? My therapist would agree with you. That labels can be...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: DependentOrigination - 10 hours 36 min ago
    You have given me something fantastic to watch this weekend. Going to watch all the movies and then that commentary. Nice one.  PS. Label away. What I do with that label is my own business.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: sickandtired - 12 hours 27 min ago
    Wow, I just saw this. How dare you tell me to get a prenup???  It is obvious you have once again  hacked my email and found out that I am getting married. Believe me, "Betrayed", I don't need ANY of your advice. OMG ... you are so deep in your own victim fantasy that you chose a "victim" name....Betrayed. I think a more fitting name for you would be "Bully".
    >>> on Forum topic - I was blindsided.. Didn't have all info before I married my ADD husband. Now I feel stuck in this marriage...

  • by: DependentOrigination - 12 hours 29 min ago
    I have thought the same thing about my husband. What would the world look like if I lived according to his rules and not according to mine. It was a helpful exercise. Helped get rid of some of the self righteousness and anger I had been experienced, which opened up the giant well of sadness, loss, grief, etc. that had been layered on top trying to keep that all contained.  I think you have misunderstood the purpose of this forum though. Yes, there is a lot of venting that goes on here. I have been busted...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: c ur self - 12 hours 40 min ago
    Satisfaction that they are adults now, and walk away?? huh! LOL....Never mothering an adult?? huh! LOL....Who am I?  I am Co-dependent....Co-dependents associate their actions w/ Love and Concern....(this is what I do) Co-dependents feel guilt and selfish if they are not trying to intervene...(this is what I feel) An adhd mind in a spouse or child that is chaotic and scattered is the perfect storm to keep me exonerating myself; blind to it....(this is what has happened to me, that and the desire to feel...
    >>> on Forum topic - As the World Turns

  • by: DependentOrigination - 12 hours 53 min ago
    What you are doing would have made me happy. Working with a therapist? Awesome. Accepting some of the responsibility of things going wrong in your relationships? Fantastic. Good for you.  Hold on, lady. You are working hard. You are trying. That is all that anyone can ask. If he can't see that, maybe it is because he is not over his own anger and his own behaviour. And that has nothing to do with you.  I say, good for you, keep trying. Be as honest and forth coming as you can be. Accept responsibility...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: sickandtired - 13 hours 12 min ago
    You are so much in denial... that now you are angry at people on this forum, accusing them of gossiping or bashing their mate. You don't understand what their lives are like in real life. They are living frustrating, sometimes dangerous lives, trying to help their family and people they love who have ADHD and/or other diseases. Your words, like accusing them of "plotting evil" against their mates, shows your extreme paranoia, and your words insult them, but you don't care. You don't think you need...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: JJamieson - 13 hours 13 min ago
    Ironic, how all you have to do is label someone.....and bam,  off to the races we go!!  If you Love that....take a look at what actually happened ( in reality )  even before the movie "Life of Brian" even came out in the theaters?  Like I said....everything you could possibly ever want to know on this included here? It's always to good to hear it, from the source.....not second hand? ( as I might say...but as we all know .....what that hand is good for LOL   That's a joke?  Get it? LOL Sorry,...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: JJamieson - 13 hours 27 min ago
    First off...I am speaking only for myself here since I have gotten to the point of being so tired of quarreling about this with my wife...I have to speak up and say something about all of this? It's freakiing Ridiculous!!!   ( there...I said it LOL )  Am I going to sound like I am teaching here?  YES!!!  I am!!!!  There...I said that too. LOL  And with that much....English, was my strongest subject in school.  Why?  I have absolutely NO IDEA...( and I really don't care?  more to the point? lol ) And for...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Resigned2B - 23 hours 22 min ago
    Well Betrayed, Your behavior here has certainly convinced readers that you use this site to lash out at victims of ADHDers. You should probably start your own webpage; "Non-ADHDers and Other Myths" As for myself I'd like to thank you for proving the very nature of ADHD. Completely oblivious to taking ANY responsibility for behavior that is NOT part of MOST relationships.. The average ADHDer will be on their third or fourth marriage before they finally realize every partner they've had all seem to have...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: ICanSeeClearlyNow - 1 day 2 hours ago
    Hi Betrayed,  I know this isn't meant to be the focus of your ideas, but it's just a comment that worried me when I read it, and I feel like I need to address it:  the idea that psychiatrists are people who make judgments and assumptions about people and aren't really there to help.  I've seen too many people lately not seeking help for mental health issues because they don't believe in the mental health profession.  Recently, there have been many studies linking mental health to physical health and family...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 7 hours ago
    The hardest thing about living w/ a victim is not becoming one yourself...It's not her fault that I keep finding her in front of her recorded tv programs and asking her to pause it...While I ask her if she is going to join in life w/ me....It's mine...It's my weakness, my inability to accept my fate with this person as my wife.... God loves me and HE will continue to sustain and bless me all of my days, he has filled me with Joy and Peace and all the fruit of his Spirit... And that will never hinge on...
    >>> on Forum topic - Prescriptions For Happiness

  • by: TanyaD - 1 day 7 hours ago
    I don't blame my spouse for my depression. I don't even blame my spouse for the struggles that we are unable to change. I've tried couples counseling, and after we leave the sessions, there is zero efforts made to use the tools unless I incorporate them into our communication. It didn't help that our counselor would not address ADHD behaviors that affected our relationship. She would disregard my mention of my partner remembering situations where I would be accused of making a commitment that I didn't make...
    >>> on Forum topic - My husband has ADD and now I have!

  • by: Betrayed - 1 day 7 hours ago
    I think the label would be just the opposite wouldn't it,  like Attention Abundant Lethargic Disorder or AALD, that sounds as demeaning as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, it is all judging a persons traits and characteristics.   I know people who think too much,mostly making assumptions and judgments of others that they are wrong about,  while they sit around doing nothing else,   I guess that could be considered the hypothetical disorder for the 1% I spoke of, but they already have a label for...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Parasol - 1 day 12 hours ago
    Yeah, that's correct. ADHDers do care but have a hard time to notice, while narcissists do notice but don't care. And it is also correct that ADHDers usually do not have a hidden agenda behind their needs (and if they do, it is quite obvious), while narcissists do.
    >>> on Forum topic - What is the difference between narcism and ADHD?