Recent Comments

  • by: SpaceyStacey197... - 35 min 28 sec ago
    Oh Zapp - this is just amazing!  <3  I am so happy to read that you are finding some hope.  Its wonderful to find a peice of the puzzle that gets you closer to figuring out how to find joy!
    >>> on Forum topic - Right in front of me the whole time.....

  • by: JJamieson - 1 hour 11 min ago
    Is a sign of abuse in his past unfortunately.  I was very much like this in my past....but I resolved that quite some time ago and now I receive them well for the most part....even though I still a little suspicious when someone is overly nice to me for no reason?  That's actually is a bonifide concern from someone who is easily taken advantage of because....people do or did take advantage of your good nature or being a little naive....and so trust is big issue but that can be overcome and is not directly...
    >>> on Forum topic - never enough compliments for ADHD husband

  • by: JJamieson - 1 hour 29 min ago
    I think what OW said might be true in one aspect...but I disagree with her the part about not being a partner?  I won't tell you what to do either but I can't say whether running away is a good option either? I will say this however to start.  All of this is related to ADHD and especially the parts about him  being unsure or on the fence and not fully committing?  Without going into a long winded explanation....I can see myself at times in your boyfriend in the past and tell you what I think I see based...
    >>> on Forum topic - Is it commitment fear?

  • by: waldewin - 2 hours 52 min ago
    I think I understand where you are getting to and my apologies if I here misrepresent your ideas. Defining a person in need of praise as an inferior (a child) is in fact also putting you to superior position. Douche! I have never thought about it this way, I have just been annoyed about my boyfriends continuous complaints about him not receiving enough compliments. My go to attitude seems to be- go and solve it (it is your problem). To be fair, this is exactly what my boyfriend expects me to do if he...
    >>> on Forum topic - never enough compliments for ADHD husband

  • by: JJamieson - 5 hours 2 min ago
    I've mentioned something in the past in my posts about the concept of "forced compliance" ( and used the example of PC or being Politically Correct ) to do so?  If you look at this a little closer (  step back from it ) and see what is happening.....it is both....a good thing....and a bad thing.....both at the same time?  On paper....there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with the idea...and the idea is for good reason?  Prejudice and divisiveness....hurt others on the whole....and things that cast...
    >>> on Forum topic - never enough compliments for ADHD husband

  • by: waldewin - 17 hours 40 min ago
    Yes that sounds familiar to me as well. My boyfriend also has a tendency to forget all about my compliments and then complain that I am not giving any. I would say the same as new, it is the low self-esteem and the fact that, he was probably punished and shamed a lot due to his adhd. He is used to being a disappointment so he needs a constant inflow of 'drug'- your praise or otherwise all his self-confidence does wandering about again.  I can only guess that, your husband is also very sensitive to...
    >>> on Forum topic - never enough compliments for ADHD husband

  • by: DependentOrigination - 18 hours 47 min ago
    Most of the reason for the yelling and frustration in my life was being stonewalled so hard my head would spin for days. The rest of the reason was the complete inability to apologize for even a tiny infraction.  My husband rocks. Most days. Like I rock. Most days...
    >>> on Forum topic - Merry Christmas!

  • by: overwhelmedwife - 19 hours 48 min ago
    Run! He is not a partner. He is not for you. Run
    >>> on Forum topic - Is it commitment fear?

  • by: vabeachgal - 1 day 2 hours ago
    Very Hurt. I understand but I don't have any easy answers for you.  I am very sorry you are going through this situation.  I wish I could pour a glass of champagne and give you a magic pill to make it all go away, but I can't. I found my H on Ashley Madison and Plenty of Fish two years and two months ago.  I don't know if he had a physical affair.  I may never know because he is unwilling to release anything - no credit card statements, bank statements, phone records - big fat nada.  So in my mind, I've...
    >>> on Blog entry - Are You Having an Emotional Affair? Is Your Partner Having an Emotional Affair??

  • by: Gable Young - 1 day 4 hours ago
    My husband and I have been having problems for years. Like so many spouses of ADD people I felt isolated and lonely. My husband is an untreated for his ADD. I also have an 18 year old son who is currently treated. My husbands closest friends seem to be just like him, and have made matters infinitely worse for me. He parties and gets high with these men on the weekends and they send lots of porn back and forth. I have tried very hard to help my son make wise choices and get help for his ADD. My husband...
    >>> on Blog entry - Are You Having an Emotional Affair? Is Your Partner Having an Emotional Affair??

  • by: NowOrNever - 1 day 7 hours ago
    ...and to your children and grandchildren. Peace in Christ, Now
    >>> on Forum topic - Merry Christmas!

  • by: JJamieson - 1 day 7 hours ago
    Do.....I caught this and thought about what I was saying yesterday about......"thinking you are better than someone else?"  Hmmm?  Thinking you are....versus......doing?  Ironic isn't.  That's good news to here?  I'm glad for you and your husband because that is a big deal indeed!!  I wish mhy wife would read my posts and the things she will not allow me to say to her?  If she would do that...I wouldn't be here and I would be saying things differently to her face....if she allowed me to same them...
    >>> on Forum topic - Merry Christmas!

  • by: JJamieson - 1 day 9 hours ago
    I thought I would second what was already said here before....this is passive aggressive.  I think reading this is pretty clear that your H is annoyed with hair in his food but he understands about you condition....but only up to a point?  He's got something to say....and he's not saying it which is probably just that.  He doesn't like it and it annoys him but he is compelled...to say it to you when you have no means to defend your self in front of others so he can always say...." you know.....I was just...
    >>> on Forum topic - Please - any experience of this?

  • by: DependentOrigination - 1 day 18 hours ago
    My husband called me today and in a rush (I was engaged in something else at the time he was talking, it has been the WEIRDEST day) he told me he has also been reading my posts. He says he will stop (I personally don't care one way or another). Maybe they love us more than we could ever imagine! Anyhow, he told me he loved me, that he was sorry that he hurt me, amd that he wanted to do better. We all want to do better. I am glad you are taking time for yourself if you need to and I hope you will find some...
    >>> on Forum topic - Merry Christmas!

  • by: DependentOrigination - 1 day 18 hours ago
    This, here, at this moment, is me, exactly. Thank you, from me, in 2016, to whoever you are in 2015.  Brilliant. The happy non ADHD folk are off living their damn lives, not worrying about lost souls like ours. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Have any non-ADHD partners been able to find happiness with an ADHD partner???

  • by: JaneAgatha - 1 day 19 hours ago
    Catherine10, thIs sounds a lot like the man I married 37 years ago who has these tendencies  but is also abusive and self-centred, as yours sounds. We had a wonderful 14 years living apart while he worked away. It was a huge shock when be returned to retire with me. The long gap had been recovery time. I was back to square one, as he has changed little. If anything he was worse, having worked with a bunch of compliant women who were eager to please him. He expected me to behave like them. To cope, I...
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: DependentOrigination - 1 day 20 hours ago
    Isn't it? Thinking, that now is the time for me/us.  Thinking that the loose ends are tied up, the distraction is out of the way, the project is complete, and now, and now... there is going to be TIME.    And then finding out, that actually, no, now isn't the time for me/us.   I still struggle with it, it is when I am at my most vulnerable. When I have endured, done my part, made myself healthy, and am ready for the homecoming, and it doesn't arrive. The worst. Dreadful pretty much nails it. 
    >>> on Forum topic - How to make my ADD spouse my Ally, not my Enemy

  • by: JJamieson - 1 day 23 hours ago
    I took a time out from my thoughts to let everything catch up...and what you were continuing to say here is related to my thoughts as well?  I've told you that I think my memory is pretty good and I think it is?  My memory has saved my ass......so to speak......in countless ways I won't even to into but it's the long term memory of course that I am thinking about here?  I'm not going to say for a second....that I think I have some special talent....but really if you think about it....memory could be seen...
    >>> on Forum topic - How to make my ADD spouse my Ally, not my Enemy

  • by: NowOrNever - 2 days 2 min ago
    Have no fear, I can track along with you. There's something called a noetic experience.  Spelled just that way. I believe this: what ever it is that we "think" it is.....will be different later.. ...Offline, I'm hoping to make a shift in a few things so I dont know what that will do to my time on the forum.   Sail on, J.  Be true   Now
    >>> on Forum topic - How to make my ADD spouse my Ally, not my Enemy

  • by: NowOrNever - 2 days 1 hour ago
    Zapp your post thrills me. Prayers for you both.  What an opening.   And what a punchline final sentence to your post  : )     
    >>> on Forum topic - Right in front of me the whole time.....

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