Recent Comments

  • by: ambre - 4 hours 13 min ago
    jon, it's good to get your perspective again.   When you talk about being interested in physics etc., clearly, you have the capacity to focus and think analytically, it's just about different topics.  In that sense, it seems more like differences in interests, rather than ADHD vs. non-ADHD conflict.  I tend towards being interested in the sciences or complex matters, while my ADHD wife sounds more like your partner, as far as topics of conversation go.  So, we all clearly run the gamut. Steve04, wow, 17...
    >>> on Forum topic - Confused about happiness in relationship

  • by: dedelight4 - 4 hours 15 min ago
    Yes, and yes. The holes in memories are there for my ADHD husband and only a few repeated stories of childhood are the same here also. It's as if he had no awareness of his life around him as a child, or even now in his 60s.        If something isn't directly affecting him, it doesn't seem to exist. I've also noticed lately his memory is becoming worse than ever. He is forgetting the "smallest" of things, (and some large things) which has me concerned. He's also getting worse at "finding" something that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 5 hours 35 min ago
    Many years later. . . . . . . . .It was a purposeful choice by me - - - it was not worth the arguments, anger, and frustration.    Liz   
    >>> on Forum topic - Do ADHD and hoarding tendencies go hand in hand?

  • by: CaliforniaGirl - 5 hours 56 min ago
    This is really interesting.  I have learned about the difficulty with memory recall, hindsight, vicarious learning and foresight.. and my ex always told me that his brains felt like swiss cheese and that he would try to search for a memory and couldn't find it.  (I just didn't know what he meant at the time because I hadn't figured out he might have ADD until long after the fact.) However, even knowing that...I hadn't realized until you mentioned just now it that I would often hear the same few anecdotes...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: CaliforniaGirl - 6 hours 3 min ago
    Hi Brin, Yes emotional over-reaction, sometimes to an extreme that might resemble a childhood temper tantrum or an all or nothing declaration, like you mention...   or sometimes a total non-reaction in a situation where one would expect some level of emotion .... seems to be extremely common even though the DSM does not include an emotional component in their symptom list.   It's common in the descriptions from the majority of people on this site, and was a huge problem in my own relationship as well.   I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: bowlofpetunias - 6 hours 14 min ago
    My wife very frequently goes to extremes.  She gets very angry very quickly and easily.  She often threatens the kids with such a harsh punishment that there is no further room to escalate if they do not comply.  But it is also so harsh that she ends up backing down later, undermining our authority. This is related to her own self image.  She HAS to be supermom.  Only the very best!  But then, of course, she decides that she has been a complete failure.  It's black and white--nothing in between.  Or how...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: Angie_H - 11 hours 26 min ago
    Hi, all,    This topic is timely for me. I had a conversation last night with my husband about a past event that was significant to me, and he absolutely does not remember it. We were going to closing to buy our house, and he got a notice of jury duty. He decided it was important to do his 'civic duty'.    I was working, going to school, taking care of our young child, handling my mother-in-law's declining health, then things related to her estate, buying and selling houses, and preparing to move. Among...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: vabeachgal - 13 hours 24 min ago
    Brin: Memory storage and recall are high level executive functioning skills which are often compromised by ADHD.  It's also one of the reasons that people with ADHD have trouble learning from mistakes; they are unable to "pull up" the old memories and say to themselves, "Ah, that didn't go well last time when I did thus and such."   My H recalls almost nothing of his childhood.  He recycles the same four childhood stories over and over. I have literally NEVER heard anything else about his childhood in 15...
    >>> on Forum topic - Two questions: 1) extensive holes in memory, 2) extremes

  • by: arabianhorselover - 13 hours 43 min ago
    So he just kept putting stuff on your side?
    >>> on Forum topic - Do ADHD and hoarding tendencies go hand in hand?

  • by: carl24 - 20 hours 55 min ago
    and love her more now
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD Spouse on Probation

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 1 day 2 hours ago
    I remember one of my first attempts to put up a boundary to keep some floor space for myself in our barn.  In anger, I shoved all my spouse's stuff to one side of the barnand  put tape on the floor and up the back wall as a divider...his side, my side.  I yelled, "I'veI had it. This is my side, that is your side, and KEEP YOUR STUFF ON YOUR OWN SIDE.    It  did not achieve my desired result.   Sincerely, Liz  
    >>> on Forum topic - Do ADHD and hoarding tendencies go hand in hand?

  • by: Brindle - 1 day 9 hours ago
    C, thank you for taking the time to write this out.  This is immensely helpful, but also very validating of my experience and my own tentative conclusions.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Learning how to coexist.....

  • by: smd1409 - 1 day 9 hours ago
    ‘Horrible since then’ how? Your wife going on random outbursts, always feeling down, blaming everything on everyone and/or her ADHD symptoms getting a lot worse? Any of these familiar or am I on the wrong track? Not to sound intrusive but I think I might know what is going on with her and what might help if I have more of an idea by what you mean when you say horrible.
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD Spouse on Probation

  • by: c ur self - 1 day 9 hours ago
    I have always felt connected to you and your situation.... I think it's partly because I am so much like you....Many of us are cast into unhealthy life situations and circumstances that we would not choose....Trying to find a a happy place for ourselves under these circumstances is very difficult....I found in my life I must place boundaries on myself to help me deal (not deal) with other adults who want to drag me into THEIR crap....So in the name of love (it's not love when we carry another adult) and...
    >>> on Forum topic - I need a pep talk

  • by: arabianhorselover - 1 day 13 hours ago
    Told my husband I want his stuff out of the kitchen, or I will move it out.  So scary for me to tell him that.  I've been putting up with his stuff for so many years because I've been afraid not to.  Now I have to stay strong.
    >>> on Forum topic - Do ADHD and hoarding tendencies go hand in hand?

  • by: Steve04 - 1 day 19 hours ago
    Hi Ambre, My wife of 17 years also sets reminders, takes medication and I feel she’s made such great progress in the last few years. However, I still feel like there is so much more progress needed. Like you. I also don’t feel like breaking up the marriage is something I’m ready for. On the other hand I’m totally spent and can’t imagine living the rest of my life in the clutter and absent mindedness. In our situation she’s agreed to see a counselor (at least the 4th time we’ve done this), but she’s...
    >>> on Forum topic - Confused about happiness in relationship

  • by: I'm So Exhausted - 2 days 3 hours ago
    arabianhorselover, Hello!  I still lurk around ☺  In May of 2017, I graduated from college with a degree in early childhood education.  I was offered a job while I was finishing my student teaching.  I am in the process of getting my state license to teach Pre-K age children.  That specific testing is March 26.   I am currently a teacher's aide.  When I pass my licensing tests, I can be placed in line to get my own classroom.  It has been just as rough a road at age 58, as I am sure it would have been in...
    >>> on Forum topic - Do ADHD and hoarding tendencies go hand in hand?

  • by: dvance - 2 days 20 hours ago
    Thank you very much for the kind words.  Read my longer comment above.  I put my foot down about a few things and did many things for myself today and will again tomorrow so I feel a little bit better.  Being married to an ADHD person is so freaking exhausting.  I know you all know this, not like that is new information.   Thanks for the support.  
    >>> on Forum topic - I need a pep talk

  • by: dvance - 2 days 20 hours ago
    Thank you very much.  I kind of took myself in hand today and made a few announcements.  First, the older child was told there was no road trip happening. Period.  The 16 year old was told that from now until June there will be no video games Monday through Friday and he must get Bs in all of his classes.  I haven't talked about the trip yet.  There is no way on God's green earth that DH will let his teachers know he is going to be gone and stay on him to get his work done.  I hear you about doing too much...
    >>> on Forum topic - I need a pep talk

  • by: PoisonIvy - 3 days 5 hours ago
    I don't know if my comment will be helpful, but I will say that I totally understand your frustration and other feelings.  I, too, recommend against buying a house.  It sounds like a bad idea for many reasons.
    >>> on Forum topic - I need a pep talk

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