Recent Comments
- by: Marko - After reading this post I felt identified, but I also felt that something is not right when non-ADHD partners say that we don't care or we don't respect them. It should be part of their responsibility of the non-ADHD partner to get educated about the condition and understand that, if there is love, our mess ups do not have anything to do with not caring or respecting. Saying that is being oblivious of the roots of the disorder, My situation was similar: I would mess up with something, my wife would point...>>> on Blog entry - Going on the Defensive, Making Excuses and Denying Fault During a Fight
- by: AdeleS6845 - Your post sounds a lot like what my former mother-in-law went through with my former father-in-law. She described her first years of marriage to him much in the way you described yours. She was shy almost reserved in their early years. And for the most part he took advantage of that. After years of living that way, she decided she could no longer stand it and stood up to him and fought back. They were married 51 years when he passed. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's during the last 3 years of their...>>> on Forum topic - Shame and fighting
- by: c ur self - People rarely make any type permanent changes in their living of life using the same thinking that molded their actions to begin with...I suggest you make your decision to go back to him solely on the person you left....Never allow your life to be negatively impacted by a carnal promise, when there is no real power for sustained change....There is a couple of things that can foster real change...Missing a human who was filling your needs isn't one of them.... Be wise.... c>>> on Forum topic - Honestly don’t know what to do
- by: c ur self - That you have lived the same life and been formed by the same behaviors that many of us have? That self-preservation for yourself and your children in a marriage where the other spouse isn't responsible isn't control? That you are messed up because your life partner was loved, but, couldn't be trusted? That you have done double work most of your life, because his mind is hyper focused on his good times, and self entertainment? That you may have done your children a disservice by turning Co-dependent...>>> on Forum topic - Co-Parenting with an ADHD spouse (I'm New Here)
- by: c ur self - Adults have to learn responsibility, you may not always be there...The other man friend she has, will also want her to be responsible if their relationship progresses.... Just my thoughts... c>>> on Forum topic - Need advice
- by: c ur self - That is such a great awareness moment...And a great tip! Thank you! PS...I help myself by budgeting with Accounts...I have two CU's I use, I have two checking Accounts, I have two savings....They each have different purposes...My groceries, gas, eating out, daily spending money goes in the checking w/ a debt card...The bill money goes in the other checking account...It has no bank cards attached to it, it can never be used for anything other than Monthly bills....The savings have different functions...>>> on Forum topic - Comment - How to Stick to a Budget When One of You Spends Impulsively
- by: 1Melody1 - Similar to your story, the weight of carrying my husband's ADHD wasn't fully felt until our child came along. Until then, I could pick up the slack without feeling so overburdened. Our child slept rarely and was very fussy along with all the other traits you mentioned. I was sleep deprived to the point of serious illness. My child is almost a teen now and we have a great relationship. However, I have seen several posts on these boards about teen children who see their ADHD parent as the hero or "fun parent...>>> on Forum topic - Co-Parenting with an ADHD spouse (I'm New Here)
- by: boredandignored - Be careful. My husband did this to me. He asked for a separation after I had our second child stating he was "unhappy" in the marriage. We had a lot of contention because he had dropped the ball, not gotten a job during the summer, caused a lot of stress due to his inability to plan and provide and had not been getting along at all. He asked for a divorce, I told him to leave. We have two kids together. 3 months into our separation he starts to come aroudn more, wants to be in the house with me more, and...>>> on Forum topic - Honestly don’t know what to do
- by: How Long will t... - Kateri, I am so sorry for your situation. Being in lockdown with an ADHD spouse has to make it 100 times worse. I wish I could give you words of wisdom, but I know all too well there is no right way to deal with whatever they throw at you. I can just say try to find your safe space in your house and maybe start a puzzle or book to just stay out of his target range. If you need to "talk" please keep coming to this forum. It has saved my sanity more than once.>>> on Forum topic - Blurting out sarcastic statements
- by: Kateri - OMG, I'm sorry you're going through this! WOW....Reading this is almost like I'm reading my story (minus the daughter)! I am soo drained and so over it right now! I am immuno-compromised and have a lung disease so we have been homebound for 3 months now with our groceries being delivered. Being locked down with him has taken me to the point of think of writing letter to my grandkids in case something happens to me as I'm at the point of being ready to go out not caring if I get annoying and die as it...>>> on Forum topic - Blurting out sarcastic statements
- by: Kateri - I'm also pretty new here. Your story sounds a lot like mine and I think many here. Kudo's to you both for being willing to go to counseling!! My ADHD spouse won't go to any counseling. He does do fairly well for a while in trying to control things on his own, for a short time. Then everything goes sideways. (After almost 45 yrs. I'm at the end of my rope). This definitely isn't an easy road, wishing you the best!>>> on Forum topic - New member, and a bit of an introduction
- by: LucyMoore - Thanks, I would check that out. Has your sister been divorced? Sorry to hear that!>>> on Forum topic - Need advice
- by: LucyMoore - Sorry, but we don't live in Canada>>> on Forum topic - Need advice
- by: Respawned - I am sorry to hear about your daughter, however that's extremely nice of you to be so supportive and thoughtful! She's lucky to have you and I believe she deeply appreciates that! I haven't been in similar situation, however I gues you should really proceed with a divorce as soon as possible. I have found a self-help divorce service https://onlinedivorcer.com/ where they say that they could provide support with filing, however I haven't heard about them and none of my friends. I believe you might not wanna...>>> on Forum topic - Need advice
- by: Tarawrashley - Hi there - I am so sorry your husband is acting strange. Both my partner and I have adhd and we're at opposite ends of the spectrum. I have hypersexuality whereas he almost has no sexual desire. That being said, it's not a trigger or excuse to go and find release with someone who isn't my partner. I think it's an easy excuse, but at the end of the day, you make a decision either way. I have never felt the need to go and sleep with someone else, even with my partners lack of drive - and if your husband is...>>> on Forum topic - Is hypersexuality a common symptom of ADHD?
- by: 1Melody1 - Hi Lucy, I haven't yet been through this myself but plan to use a lawyer just to make sure everything is done right. Based on the link you provided, it seems like you are in Canada. If so, I have found this site helpful: https://divorce-canada.ca/divorce-process-in-canada It seems like the papers you need and the filing process will be different based on which province you live in. There are some free legal consultation services for matters like this available. Maybe that would be the most help.>>> on Forum topic - Need advice
- by: Kateri - I have gotten a lot out of so many things here! This is a great thread. "C", John and others all have good points! I am a non-ADHD spouse who is having a very hard time right now! Thanks for all your words!.>>> on Forum topic - Is There Anyone Here Who is Happily Married to an ADD/ADHD Partner?
- by: tfarmer - It has been an absolute pleasure and beneficial experience for me as well. I appreciate your candor and willingness to share your experiences. Incidentally, my wife identifies herself as a "visual learner". It sounds very similar to what you described. Enjoy the first "post lockdown" weekend!>>> on Forum topic - Is There Anyone Here Who is Happily Married to an ADD/ADHD Partner?
- by: MelissaOrlov - I find that even though folks are expressing their pain and disappointment, there are also a lot of people here who really want to talk about these difficult issues, and also want to help and support. So I'm glad that you have had a good experience 'talking' with them.>>> on Forum topic - Is There Anyone Here Who is Happily Married to an ADD/ADHD Partner?
- by: Shell10 - I feel your pain. Over and over again. It's not just one thing either. It is multiple projects running through his head that I hear about but am unsure which he is discussing at any given time. Very annoying because apparently you have to listen to all this rambling but they can't afford to listen to you.>>> on Forum topic - Repeating things they intend to do