Recent Comments

  • by: tester1 - 3 months 1 week ago
    Hi jidann, A neurotypical would be a person that doesn't have ADHD or another disorder. As I mentioned in have ADHD, which in my own opinion can at times give distorted interpretation of reality or a situation. I am not sure if this assumption is correct or no, opinions would be appreciated. I would ask my therapist or a trusted good friend if my interpretation of a situation and my proposed response is adequate and not over reaction. I do believe that ADHD does make accurate and effective communication...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: [email protected] - 3 months 1 week ago
    I have a family, my husband is a stay at home dad to our 6 kids - one of whom has been diagnosed with ADHD too. He is self-aware but does not work on it as much as I'd like. However, I'm also an ADHD coach and Psychologist, so I'm constantly teaching, but not enabling or taking on more than my fair share. I just understand how things can get missed, as they could for anyone with six kids. He raises the kids and takes care of house work/repairs/etc and I work and pay the bills. It works for us. But not...
    >>> on Blog entry - If You Are Engaged to Someone with ADHD

  • by: adhd32 - 3 months 1 week ago
    It is true that understanding is helpful.  I wonder if you have a family.  Is your husband reliably employed?  Is your spouse in denial of his ADHD or is he working on his marriage as hard as you are?  I feel your statement can be true in situations where there is self awareness and on going commitment to improvement. Unfortunately many ADHD spouses of posters here are self absorbed and in denial of their condition or, even if aware, choose to remain in their singular world and blame others for their...
    >>> on Blog entry - If You Are Engaged to Someone with ADHD

  • by: jidann - 3 months 1 week ago
    Regarding asking a neurotypical -- who do you ask, and how do you ask them?
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: [email protected] - 3 months 1 week ago
    Yes, if you don't understand ADHD, it's very easy to take symptoms personally. But, luckily, there are GREAT books written by people who have walked the walk, and are married to someone with ADHD, so you have many a resource at your fingertips to start understanding. Having ADHD comes down to how someone's brain processes things - I consider myself lucky to be married to someone with ADHD because there's no book written about how to deal with me and my behavior! My husband is learning as he goes, and...
    >>> on Blog entry - If You Are Engaged to Someone with ADHD

  • by: tester1 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Hello I can empathize with your situation. I also lived through a similar situation for 18 years with my ex-wife. The threats about the divorce, may have been caused by the ADHD impulsivity and a person not able to recognize it and control it. I myself have ADHD and have learned to control the impulsivity and redirect that energy positively. After the divorce you will get to be more relax since you may no longer be walking in eggshells.    
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Palmo14 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I was in a similar situation with my ex wife. 25 years of marriage and she would file for divorce at least once a year during our marriage , she would sign apartment leases. You will be okay. You will get the piece that you deserve. We do everything to help our love ones, but it comes a time you just have to let go.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Palmo14 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I am a guy, and my role was exact same as yours, as my wife is ADHD. It was a lonely marriage, isolating, just terrible all the way around, I felt I raised my two boys alone. Speaking for the guys women has ADHD also. I wouldn't wish that type of relationship on anyone. Especially when they have this condition before they met you, and did not disclose. Money and material things do not matter, piece of mind does.
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: Palmo14 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I am a guy, and I have read all of you guys post. What about women whom have ADHD. I was married for 25 years to my ex wife whom is ADHD. I loved her very much, and did everything that I could to support her. We have two amazing boys, that I had to protect. They are doing very well. I tried everything to get her help. I would call her doctors, and she would call the police on me, I went to her family, they didn't care. For twenty years she would file for divorce at least once a year. she spent our money on...
    >>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    C ur self  NEVER said that all ADHD people desire to be with a partner who will take care of them and manage their lives. Heethin clearly did from what she posted.  My ADHD fiance does not expect me to take care of him he can take care of himself. He is 54 years old and through cognitive behavioral therapy has learned to manage his life. He has no problems holding down a full-time well-paying job. He has no problems with managing his finances or keeping a reasonably tidy house. The words of caution were...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: adhd32 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I am aware that after nearly 40 years with my H (35 years undiagnosed and still untreated) that ADHD is an executive function disorder that causes difficulty in relationships and employment. My comment to the OP, who did not respond, was asking if her mates objected to picking up the slack in their relationships. Her post sounded to me as though she had certain expectation for her mates to pick up after her and ultimately manage her life and household.  The expectation of an ADHD spouse assuming that...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Your judging me, and trying  to put words in my mouth...I never said anything bad about add people...I said that I would never choose to be with a person who wants a spouse for the reasons that Heethin stated she wanted her husbands for....She may be a wonder person...You may be a wonderful person....Being a great guy, gal, friend etc., has nothing to do with one's ability or desire to do the day to day work it takes to be a responsible spouse... c
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    do you know that this a condition that affect how you function in life so its hard to the things on a daily bases   
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    What you saying is that us people with adhd want caregivers as partners and you said unommon thinking for us that is messed up to say.Your also saying that you would avoid all people with adhd wtf.We are not bad people we just have different brains at all.
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Nothing more or nothing less than than what I wrote....There is no hidden meanings or judgments in my statement...If a person wants to be on the other end of her statement of reality of what she desires in a spouse, and why she desires it, then so be it...After 13 years of it, I personally wouldn't ever choose it.... c
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    C ur Self was referring to this post : My kinda Guy Submitted by Heethin on Sat, 05/22/2021 - 02:45 Heethin said that they looked for people who would accommodate them.. "Guys that are calm (because I have anxiety), outgoing and happy (I am too so they know the ins nd outs of being this way), organized (because I am NOT), nergetic (to clean up my messes) " ( As far as I'm concerned this is just laziness.) I believe that C observed that some ADHD partners seek out people who do too much so that they...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    what are you do you mean this comment do you mean that adhd people need caregiver as partners?
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Heethin's post sadly isn't uncommon thinking for many w/ add....In fact, her short post could save millions of people from disastrous relationship attempts, if they would just read it, believe it, and respect the truth of it..... c  
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: adhd32 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    You have been working at change for only 2 years yet it seems as if you feel your wife should be further along in her process. You have been married for 20 years and you had a revelation only 2 years ago.  That means that 90% of your marriage has been shrouded in untreated, out of control ADHD chaos. I know how your wife feels in relation to the fear, controlling, and humiliation.  It took a great deal of courage on her part to even bring up her feelings. Listen to what she says and don't make this about...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hoping it’s not to late

  • by: Hardtorealize - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I can't say that I am not to blame at all. I have/had a lot of guilt over the years but I have been trying to make up for it for many years now. And I thought I had done it until a few days/week ago when she brought up some other stuff that I was not even aware of and it broke my heart that she feels that way. All I can say I was shocked about what she said.  She was scared of me, that I was controlling and that I humiliated her. I am downright ashamed that she feels that way. I thought I was doing and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hoping it’s not to late

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