Recent Comments

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Their is a childish/selfish component to people with ADHD that I rarely see mentioned. My son is 10 nd has ADHD and I can understand it with him. He's not fully developed. But adults with ADHD seem to balme anyone but themselves most oftn times it seems. I ain't buying it.  Deep down they know something is wrong with them. But I've seen it too many times to count with people who won't admit they have a problem.  It's always someone else's fault, never theirs.
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband Left Me, Does Not Recognize ADHD As An Issue

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    It's amazing how much stress disappears when the normal person leaves.  People with ADHD simply do not posses the ability to comprehend how much chaos they bring to their partners.  Leaving is the only cure for the normal sadly.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Break Up (ADHD)

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Good for you. 
    >>> on Forum topic - I Finally Did It

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Their is no true success with ADHD. Just managed . I dated someone who was oblivious to how she affected me. Oblivious. Every time.  No matter what you do, how nice you are, how hard you try, they never " get it ". Never.  It's Groundhog Day over and over, fighting over the same crap because their brain just simply never keeps the information long enough to make it stick. There won't be many success stories I'm afraid.   
    >>> on Forum topic - Looking for a success story

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    If you don't have kids you are lucky. He will not change, and you need to leave him IMO. Go find happiness.  You will be amazed at how normal your current life isn't when you get away from the noise of being with someone with ADHD.  His world, and his mind, is always in utter chaos. Always. Especially if they don't medicate .  You cannot control the chaos.   
    >>> on Forum topic - Feeling hopeless

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    I appreciate what Melissa does. I do. I think this website and all its honesty is a godsend to those with ADHD and the people who are in relationships with them. It helped me recognize and try to help an ex GF I was dating . She didn't take my advice, but I tried. This article is meant to be pro ADHD of course. It is extremely one sided, and literally calls for a saint to be with someone who has ADHD. She knows this folks.  Being with or marrying an ADHD person is an exercise in futility IMO. There is a...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 2 days ago
    Some of this has  to do with gaps in their memory. Their short term memory is horrible, so lots of times they may not even remember what they said or did the first time, and then try to fill in the blanks, which is perceived as lying. I dealt with that with my ex GF and I wondered WTH she was even talking about sometimes. Some of this may be outright lying. It's hard to tell with people with ADHD, and some of them know this and use that excuse. It will be a constant thing forever man. Good luck.   
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 3 days ago
    Why endure this pain ? Do you think he's going to ever stop ?  The answer is no he won't. Get out and live a happy life.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Delusional runaway husband

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 3 days ago
    He has shown you who he is. It's up to you to believe him. Move out and get safe first.You can always work on things when he can't physically hurt you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Is he manipulating me? Nerves completely frayed. Please help.

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 3 days ago
    Run, do not walk. Read a bunch of the people on here. It is an endless cycle of sadness and lonliness that can never be broken.
    >>> on Forum topic - Can't tolerate wife anymore

  • by: Stephanie223 - 5 months 3 days ago
    It seems like you're on the right track because there is something definitely going on with his mental health. I know you said "I'm sorry" for taking him outside, but you are not responsible for his inability to handle change. You are not responsible for any of his emotions. He needs a psychological evaluation at an inpatient facility, especially since he is actively suicidal. You may be able to have him involuntarily committed. Check with your local community service board or emergency services and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Can't tolerate wife anymore

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 4 days ago
    The difference between 2 therapists can be night and day. One can prescribe meds and listen to you talk but never challenges you.  Another can ask thoughtful questions, helps you strategize a better plan, and expects you to do homework between sessions. Managing you life requires more than meds. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Medicated and can't control symptoms

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 4 days ago
    Do they ever object to your expectations for them to manage your responsibilities? It sounds as if you want a partner to acquiesce to avoid conflict and not upset you, to clean up after you, to organize your life, and to be pleasant while doing so. 
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: Heethin - 5 months 5 days ago
    I haven't read this article yet, but I wanted to comment about the types of guys I've had long lasting relationships with that meshed well with my ADD. Guys that are calm (because I have anxiety), outgoing and happy (I am too so they know the ins nd outs of being this way), organized (because I am NOT), nergetic (to clean up my messes) an understanding or simple as far as life (not his brain lol)  Guys like this are so easy to live with and make having this disability easier to live with...My marriage...
    >>> on Blog entry - Finding the Right Partner When You Have ADHD

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 6 days ago
    My ex was horrible about commenting on waitresses’ looks, sometimes to their face, which was really embarrassing! He would fixate on a particular woman in a restaurant and spend our entire dinner commenting on her. “She’s good looking, but her stomach looks like she’s had a baby.  How can she eat with that lip ring???? I wonder what it’s like to kiss a girl with a lip ring?” He talked like a horney 14 year old boy with no insight into how disappointing, frustrating, and embarrassing his behavior was. He...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 6 days ago
    For the last 10 years of our relationship, we watched TV separately. I used to wonder how he could even enjoy - or merely understand - a show with so many interruptions and tangents. I certainly couldn't. And it's funny you would say that about a newscaster's looks. That was a really large part of the conversation... people's looks, especially women. "Do you think she's Korean?" / "She's starting to look old." / "Her nose is big but otherwise she's pretty attractive."  I found it really grating and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 6 days ago
    Did your ex also talk through tv shows and movies? If my ex wasn’t talking constantly through a movie, like “Oh no, look out! Look over there! He’s going to get shot!!!” I knew he had fallen asleep. The thing that irritated me the most would be when he would tell me the ending if he had seen it before.  Many many times he would comment on a newscaster’s looks so much that you couldn’t hear what the news was. Then he might be reminded of some unrelated experience that resulted in a 10 minute story from him...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 6 days ago
    My ex did this as well. When he would finish the sentence in a way other than how I was going to, he'd often go off on a tangent with HIS idea. On the rare occasion he'd eventually ask, "What were you going to say?", I would most often forget because I'd been interrupted and diverted to his topic. Then HE would get mad that I didn't remember... and actually thought I was only pretending to forget because I was mad he interrupted me. It was very frustrating.
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 6 days ago
    He thought that meant we were soulmates because he would finish my sentences, rather than listen to what I was trying to tell him. He would usually be wrong, and when I would say, “No, that’s not what I was going to say”, it would make him angry, and he would argue that it was what I was going to say, and that he knew me better than I know myself. He made A LOT of assumptions, and then treated these assumptions like they were absolutely factual, which just made things even worse. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 5 months 6 days ago
    I actually believe the counselor session did help somewhat, although I asked him to do something the other day, he forgot to note it on his phone, and it was out of his mind! He believes he can use his phone to remind him of items to do, but if he does not enter it then it is not much use. He has also started to talk over me even more--answering a question before I even finish as he just cannot wait for me to quit speaking. Problem is sometimes my question is not what he believes it to me. This has just...
    >>> on Forum topic - Hardest Decision

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