Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone,

In 2011, I first posted here about my ADD wife and feeling terribly unhappy about our marriage. Her refusal to take responsibility for her ADD and my terribly unhelpful responses to her really ruined the marriage. My original post is here.

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and Dr.

Loaded question, but spouse (without ADHD) has been with partner for 27 years. Have noticed decline in focus and attention among other things in spouse without ADHD all similar to symptoms exhibited by spouse (with ADHD). Is it possible for some of spouse's ADHD symptoms to rub off on partner without ADHD having been around each other so long? Picking up similar habits...obv not actually having the medical condition as that's not how you would get it, but losing patience/attention with things, moving more when supposed to be seated, similar to spouse as a LEARNED/OBSERVED habit...

I have been with my partner now for over two years. He has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was a child. He has the hyperactivity part but I've seen this side slow down with him dramatically. I recently walked away from our relationship. He seems to always put everything and everybody else before myself and my son.

The people I feel the most sadness for, or those who do not have a heart or mind capable of experiencing true love...I feel my wife is one of those people....If a man or women has no ability to give themselves completely, they will never experience the attachment God meant for us to experience as one flesh....Those of us who are blessed to be able to fully commit, and truly love, can also feel the pain of rejection much more pronounced....But, I would never trade the wonders of being able to love, for anything this world has to offer....

I met my ex last year and it was amazing. From our first date there was chemistry like I had never had before with anyone. He was very caring, attentive, communicative. It seemed too good to be true. He would travel to London twice a week to see me and made a lot of effort. We seemed to have a lot in common and want the same things. He asked me after the first date to be exclusive and after our second date to be in a relationship. He seemed a bit intense - but everything was going really well.

Married for 7 years, together 8, I remember vividly my OH asking me what I most needed in a relationship, and I answered 'consistency'. I laugh now as this was clearly somethng he is unable to supply. 

Hello! I have been educating myself as much as possible about the issues of being a non-ADHD spouse married to an ADHD spouse. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD and other co-morbidities 8 years ago. His response to the diagnosis was to ignore it. Needless to say, my life with his is extremely difficult, exhausting and challenging. 

Tonight I am wide awake grieving. Grieving for the man I fell in love with and grieving for the woman I used to be. I wrote two letters tonight, one to the husband I originally fell in love with and one to the man I am married to now. I miss who he was and how he loved, but as far as I know that person never existed to begin with. The man that has replaced him is far from the ideal I had in my head of the man I was marrying. I've come to terms with this for the most part (of course it still hurts). But, the woman I am is also so far from who I used to be. I miss the patience I had.

I just read a critique of a book which has these sentences to describe the main character and it reminded me of many of us on this forum.  She said it better than I could: 

"Her longing to be a part of something larger than herself renders her more emotionally vulnerable than she might care to admit. Finally, buckling under the pressures of work, play and love, she allows herself to be sucked into a vortex where bad behavior is the norm."