Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi All ....it's been a while! Thought I'd check in and say hello.

I wanted to start off relaying something that I noticed with my dog. For the longest time while I was still in my last relationship, his fur was sparse, he was edgy and basically a nervous little dog. He had always been a bit nervous but this I attributed it to him being a small breed, he's a Papillon for those who are interested.

In marriage, the life we lead (words and action) is a statement to how we view our spouse and our role in their lives...Does your life say I love you, honor you, & respect you?...? Or is your living of life saying something else?

I love this poem a woman recently wrote about her experience with breaking free from the emotional abuse

Needing a hug and a long embrace

But I arrived home to an empty place.

One that’s filled with fractured dreams

Memories of what others haven’t seen

Slowly the chipping away began

All from a nicely portrayed man

My blindfold was on tight

But something deep down wasn’t right.

I couldn’t put my finger on it

It was mostly implicit

I have been doing pretty good distancing myself in my marriage with the results that H seems to want to talk and be with me more.  That took literally YEARS for him to not hide and isolate from me.  He has always had more time and attention and gratitude for everyone BUT me.  But now that I am not giving any energy toward togetherness, he is fine with that and he is still not contributing any more but not hiding and defensive.  So we live our singular lives and the only conversation we have is laughs.  I think that is pathetic but I stopped caring or expecting anything more. 

I am 39 years old and just recently diagnosed as having adhd. I am single but I share a home and life with my sister. Long story short, I believe that my behaviors towards her are adhd based. I know there is more I can do it is just I'm completely overwhelmed. She believes I lied to her about who I was and that I'm manipulating and using her and is constantly angry with me. I can see, after the fact, a parent child dynamic. I feel attacked and nagged and unloved and incompetent. She says she feels used and unloved and accuses me of not caring about anything but myself.

Anyone else here have an ADHD spouse who is suddenly hyper-focused on COVID-19 above all else?

I guess I should be glad he's no longer focused on micro-plastics (the latest hyper-focus obsession after climate-change) since everything is now bagged up in plastic.

I wish I knew how to redirect all this energy into something positive!  

I was diagnosed with ADHD combined type a week and a half ago. My husband suggested it to me 9 months ago. I went for a diagnosis with a psychiatrist and he told me that I don't have it. I gave up. I made an appointment with an ADHD specialist and was told last week that I absolutely have ADHD. I was put on medication and I feel like I'm living for the first time in my life. Everything feels different to me. My husband and I are barely speaking right now.

Hi Guys,

The following is something I just read that speaks to me and to many of our shared situations. Number 6 is especially something I am coming to realize as a truth and something I am working on.  I used to have self respect.  Since marriage I lost it in favor of my own decision to self-sacrifice.  Acceptance is the key, above all else in living with our own selves. Acceptance has been my lesson that I needed to learn. Acceptance is my path to long overdue maturity in my case. I can't and should not try to change someone else. I can only find my self back again. Jenna
 

Hi, first of all, I'm so happy to have found this forum. Your stories and advice come very handy to address my personal situation. I've been in a relationship with my partner who i believe has adhd. He very often gets upset about trivial things, starts to blame and bash about me, and keeps on pushing my buttons until i explode. Fights used to escalate with me screaming at him, with a period where i slapped him out of frustration. Luckily i stopped doing that but started to slap myself because he made me feel so shitty about myself.