Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm teh ADHDer and I'll cut to the chase - I've gotten so busy in life that I've neglected to pay attention to my partner - a familiar story I'm sure.  She says that the only time I pay attention to her is for sex and that I really don't do anything to make her feel special.  I'd tend to agree with her to a point - I do try the little things like always calling her at lunch or send a nice love note text.  But that's it.  I need help . . .

Hi Everyone,

Hi.  First posting.  Married 27 years.  For the longest, thought it was behaviors resulting from addictive personality ( recovery/alcoholism 30+years).  But I got knocked in the head in marital counseling 10 years ago when we were told (didn't you know he has ADHD?).  Dang.  Should've known better.  But no real big change, other than me letting him "think out loud",  me "letting go" of expectations, me taking care of myself, me creating a separate bank account for my business and emergency fund, me stepping back and not rescuing when natural consequences come, and me not trying to excuse hi

What should I do when my ADHD exBF continues to harass me with emails full of veiled threats? The cops won’t do anything. One of my dogs had to be put down on Friday, and I am heartbroken. I put everything I had into the care of this 14 year old puppy who has had hip dysphasia for the last year and a half. I had a baby monitor and I watched him all night long and did everything I could to save him and make sure he was comfortable. 

I am a 50 year old female diagnosed with ADD six years ago. Before that, my husband had a difficult time understanding and tolerating my forgetfulness. I went on medication for a few years but had to see a psychiatrist once a month for a prescription. I stopped seeing the psych and taking the meds because my husband complained about the expense and we didn’t think it was really helping any. A few years later, i asked my primary care physician for a script, but the one he prescribed made me very irritable and did not seem to be really helping either. So i stopped.

My husband is 67 years old and has ADHD (untreated).  He definitely has anger issues, but, his favorite modus is to constantly talk about the past.  He is  also  extremely critical of me on just about every level.  

Is it perhaps easier for him to look backward rather than forward?

Any thoughts?

It sometimes feels, however, that there is no thought behind the gift.

My wife gave me a custom made string tie for my birthday.  I have no idea why she would think I would want a string tie.  We live in the northeast.  Neither of us is into country music.  Where am I going to wear a string tie?  This was a milestone birthday, BTW.

My ADHD fiance was fired from a good job shortly after we started dating.  I didn't expect it to be long before he had another, but he refuses to apply for positions, even when I find them for him.  He says he cannot cope with jobs that provide no meaning for him.  I get that.  I really do.  I used to work for myself doing something I loved and I had to quit and get an office job because I needed more money coming in.  I like the folks I work with, but the job has nothing fulfilling about it other than a decent company with decent people and a paycheck.

The biggest "takeaway" I have gleaned from this site is that you can't change someone else.  You can only change yourself.  By myself, I have learned to not be so emotional...and that love is not the emotion (which, for me was probably more about need and insecurity and culture) but it is about being cared for and caring.  I cried a lot in my early marriage years making myself a victim rather than the person of strength I could have been.  I don't know how to fight....didn't want to fight.  But I realize now that I am in charge of my self.

My wife has ADD AND depression and has had for several years now. She had been successful keeping it under control and seeing a counselor but has not been back to counseling for about 2 years. As we age (she’s 66) her depression has gotten much worse. For the past 2 weeks all she has done is lay round the house not feeling like doing anything. She refuses to go back to her doctor or to councellling and I don’t know what to do. She absolutely will not talk to me about getting help. I love everything her and took a vow to stand by her and that’s what I am and will do.