Recent forum posts (all topics)

Please bear with me. Things are a bit depressing at the moment since I've been in bed with a virus for a week. I also just found out I will have to meet my ADD ex shortly at an event.

I started a post when I first came back here again a few months ago entitled "Homiostasis". I had a specific question as it relates to motivation but I wasn't able to articulate in words what I was concerned with. That was just before going back on meds again as I was directly concerned how this would translate to my job, one of my main concerns at the time.

I love my husband, but I have become a shell of my former self. We have been together for nearly 7 years, but I am truly struggling with his ADHD symptoms and more importantly struggling with him being perfectly happy with the way things are. I am finding myself becoming more and more resentful of his choices that affect me and the heightened rejection sensitivity that comes with his ADHD. I try to be respectful and trust that he will have things handled, but it's really frustrating when each day comes with more choices that he has made that affect me negatively.

Almost a year after divorce it's become normal to be in unsolved conflict with the children's father. I normally don't think of it in the urgent sense, since I've given up hope it will ever resolve. 

Today my world fell apart! My ADHD husband has basically lost everything we own and most likely have to declare bankruptcy. He has been lying about his business and our own personal finances and has dug himself and  our family into a black hole.

At 55 years I will have nothing. I was stupid enough to leave the finances to him as he always moved things around and knew what money was coming in based on the business. He never paid himself a weekly salary. 

How have you all felt about your self worth during and after ADHD marriage?

These days I'm slowly recovering my old self, preferences, self respect, interests. It's been a long journey. For months after divorce I felt like discarded waste. Returning to an - admittedly old and battered - version of the young optimistic me is an emotional and delicate process.

What happened to you? Could you keep important things in your life during the marriage? Have you been able to prioritize yourself in an ADHD family?

Okay, I know I should be just leaving.  But Mr. ADHD is now trying.  And he's trying so hard, he really is.    But he can't do anything right.  I feel like a jerk telling him all the time, but his efforts are just not good enough.  I am literally in the midst of a panic attack about it right now.  

I know I keep bringing up OCD in connection to my SO and I realize I have no expertise on this subject. I really don't know how to differentiate the nuances and comorbitity of all the possible combinations of things that a person could have as well as ADHD. Or for that matter, all the overlaps and shared symptoms and which thing is which. I simply don't know.

But I do talk to her and ask questions about what I observe when there's no conflict and emotions are low. I'm simply curious so I can better understand. 

This first year after ADD divorce is almost over. Thank you friends on the forum for supporting me through it. 

To all who consider divorce, here's some hope from this perspective. It's like I recently told a longtime friend who's reappeared: I rise like a bubble now.

After having felt for many years a constant tug downward, into depression and burnout, and an all-encompassing pessimism, this bubble quality is almost to good to be true.