Recent forum posts (all topics)

New to this forum

Hello, I am the Non- ADHD spouse of an adult diagnosed ADHD husband.  He is now taking meds which is helping but I can't shake the anger and frustration that has built up previously to treatment.  We have recently set up some boundries and he is doing well following them.  Our issues were many, drinking, video games, addictive tendencies to everything- caffiene, nicotine, thankfully no hard drugs though, and crazy sleep schedules.  He quit drinking 6 months ago and that has helped immensly.  The newest most raw issue is that lack of time together.  I work full time and go to school, he is i

How to reset without going back to counselling?

We've been to loads of counselling and it does help but I'd rather avoid that right - mainly because the issue relates to sex and I really don't want to talk about that with another person in the room, we barely manage it with just us. I'm the (female) ADHD partner, freshly diagnosed & a bit relieved.

My husband stopped initiating sex aeons ago because I rejected him too often - not that I was aware of - and leaves it up to me. My perception is that if he initiated I was able to respond and enjoy it.

Sensory Issues

Ok, I am reaching out to get some feedback on a problem in our marriage which is huge and getting bigger by the day.  One for which I see no solution.  MY DH and I have been successfully working on a lot of issues, but this one seems hopeless to me and I sometimes feel like I should just move out if we can't fix it.  So, as I'm sure most of you know, people with ADHD often have a myriad of sensory issues as well, much like someone on the autism spectrum.  My ADHD daughter was sensitive to touch and texture and getting her dressed in the morning when she was young was Hell.  My husband, on t

Half stories

I truly feel as if I am going crazy. So much half communications and then fits of temper if I ask him about things later. He will give me snippets of information but rarely the whole story. When I ask more questions he always says he told me all the info. Well he doesn't. Why can' he ever admit that he didn' tell me that. Tons of examples too many to mention....sorry if this sounds vague. It is almost like he does it on purpose.

No investment, No commitment..= No marriage.....

Forum: 

Facing the truth can be a very hard thing at times...Especially in our marriages...90% of our marriage issues (conflict) really has nothing to do w/ add/adhd...Not now anyway that I've learned more about it....But It has everything to do with commitment....My wife has never taken on the responsibilities of a wife...She is a victim about most every thing that relates to her role as a wife....I've spent the better part of 10 years asking her if she is ever going to invest in our marriage...It is a hard thing to share in a loving martial relationship like I had for 30 years (1st marriage)...Th

Truthfulness with adult children about ADD

My DH has ADD along with Bipolar and possibly OCD. He is not medicated. I have one adult son diagnosed OCD and ADD. Another son diagnosed ADD. Non of this is ever talked about. My adult children watch the interactions between my husband and I and see it as fighting. Only my daughter know my husbands diagnosis. My sons are not really approachable on this topic. They do not realize what causes the chaos. What do you tell your family members about your life as far as mental health issues? How do you  or hurt your children with all of this?

making plans

I get told often that I am too demanding about making plans.  I want plans made and he wants to wing it....

.I get told that either I haven't given him enough time to think about whatever I want to talk about or that he feels trapped because he's going to lose and not get his way. Or any number of things

Last night I sat down and told him that it would be nice if we could talk about our plans for the next two years.  We are getting to the time in our lives where retirement is on the horizon.

Off the Leash

Several weeks ago, my DH and I had a major altercation.  He took off and headed for the hills on a day I had something planned and needed his help.  I told him it started at five and expected him to understand that he should be  home earlier to pick up the house and get a few snacks since I was working all day.  When I tried to call him, he refused to answer the phone.  I childishly got our adult daughter involved and called her and told her to "tell your father to please answer the phone".  He picked up for her, so she passed on the message, but he still wouldn't call me.  Just texted sayi

ADD and sexless marriage

Further to PoisonIvys thread about an ADD spouse who's only interest is sex. This is my marriage. He has no other interest in me. No friendship. No companionship. I have quit giving him what he wants. I am tired. But I do often wonder if I am damaging the relationship too by not doing my part with the sex thing. I just don' know...any thoughts?

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