Recent forum posts (all topics)

For those of you that have lived through something similar, what do you wish you had done when you were dealing with work, kids, and an ADHD spouse?

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40 when after the birth of our third child, our marriage started to really struggle. We have three young kids ages 4, 2, and 1. That would make anyone insane, but with my husband’s ADHD, I’m at my breaking point.

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. I just want to get a sense from other people who have ADHD what their experience in serious relationships has been. I have had struggles understanding my emotions towards my first serious girlfriend (are the emotions big enough, am I excited enough?), and I am not sure how ADHD influences my struggles. 

So I ask you. In you most committed relationship(s):

1. Did you have an initial period of infatuation towards your partner?

Hi everyone--new to this forum! My ADD husband and I have been together 5 years, married for 3, and a few months ago after a fight I realized from reading something online that my husband likely had ADD. Fast forward a few weeks to an evaluation and he scored 97% on the inattentiveness scale. He's trying meds and therapy, and yet it feels like things have gotten so much worse for us.

Guess I'll just lay it out.  I told Shrink hubby had ADD in 1995 or sooner --he gave meds but never ever suggested any treatment - went to counselling which was a disaster because hubby looked like a the victim of a wife who just couldn't be happy with him.   Meanwhile he was writing the great American Novel.

Fast forward - because we are running out of retirement $ which have been spent on his projects -- am insisting we go through this training.

He says:

You changed about 2 years ago

You're just unhappy with yourself

Hi,

I'm new and am thrilled to have found a site with so many helpful resources and such valuable information!  Please forgive my newbiness if this isn't the correct place to ask ... but most of the information I've seen so far relates to relationships between a person with ADHD and one without ADHD.  Are there simply not very many relationships where both partners have ADHD or were there simply no survivors? 

Sorry for the long post. And I don't know what forum post this in.

My wife an I have been together for 19 years. We have been through a lot together and built an amazing life so I thought. We have 3 wonderful kids, 14, 11 and 8 years old.

It has been a very long time since I have posted.  I keep making progress, but honestly, it is not nearly enough yet.  My ADHD is quite severe.  To give you the background, I have been gluten free for 5 years, take all the vitamins recommended for my ADHD, I exercise regularly, eat cleanly (no refined sugar, but plenty of veggies and protein), have figured out how to sleep better, have been meditating daily for 2.5 months, am quite organized at work. I take meds 3 times a day.

This is my first time posting.  This site seems like a lifeline right now.  I don’t have anyone else in my life that understands what it’s like to be married to someone affected by this disorder.  

Almost every book and article I've read mentions how most nonADHD spouses get into the habit of nagging and criticizing, etc.  In our house, that didn't happen.  When I would ask for him to take something on or to help, he would get so angry, even though I was only asking.  Very often, that very first request would elicit the "stop nagging me" accusation, even though it was the first request.  And I wanted to avoid his anger so much that I didn't ask anymore.  Plus, he didn't get angry and then change later.  He just got angry.