Recent forum posts (all topics)

So I'm one of those wives who likes to hug and cuddle in the morning as part of connecting with my husband. It's hard for me to just wake up and go on my phone to do stuff or watch a show without quieter time to wake up and connect with him. I've found its what I'm drawn to in the morning because it helps me feel connected and loved, helps me get a sense of our day, get our relationship secure again as it can very up and down and opens me up to more connecting things with him. When he's okay emotionally he has enjoyed these type of mornings as well.

Long story short -- Married 20 years.  Lots of ups and downs.  I knew my wife had ADHD but didn't realize it was contributing to so many of our bad times, making bad things worse.  There were many problems she perceived as real but I now realize that it was a problem with her perception rather than an external situation that could be resolved.  Fighting these imaginary battles squandered our energy, youth, finances, careers, and friendships.

I have come to the conclusion. Self absorbed minds, are the biggest blocks in relationships (Parent/Child, Spouse to Spouse, Friend to Friend, Co-worker to Co-worker) that I've ever come across...The person who lives in a self absorbed mind, can not put their selves in another's shoes...It creates denial when it comes to their own actions. They can't take corrective criticism w/o turning angry. It is almost impossible for a self absorbed mind to have a healthy relationship of any kind...

Deleted. 

Things were going well for a bit between ADHD spouse and I, but recently the demands on me and stress has increased greatly. My older son started a new med and I have had to keep close watch on his for side effects (which did happen as we raised the dosage), which meant taking him everywhere with me.

I've been with my partner for 7 years.   He has ADHD, I do not.   It has caused its trials and tribulations including seriuos sex addiction.   He lost his job last August and his unemployment runs out next month.   He did get a good paying job for the summer but it is dependent upon hot weather and it has been very rainy so , so far he is not employed.   This is causing great concerns about money because his savings is limited , partly because of bad investments but also because just not thinking about saving money.   I am so angry and am really lashing out.

I'm the ADHD husband in a family and recently found myself relating very strongly to ADHD the same way every other person in these posts does, and if you've read about people with ADHD, they may work as though their symptoms are non-existent in some things but in most things in their life it is largely obvious. So for me, where my symptoms are very hard to detect or much more subtle is in my love for psychology. Specifically, understanding how I act and how others act and why. Also on how to overcome or alter any undesirable habits or actions that I notice from these.

I am so glad I found ADHD & Marriage, Melissa Orlov, her books and online seminars because I can relate with so much of what is shared.  I've wanted to comment for a long time. I feel like I need a sense of community, support which I feel when learning about ADHD, going to counseling,etc.  The big 'however' is my spouse with ADHD who doesn't follow through, forgets, is emotionally unconnected ( not just with me), doesn't put things aways, loses things, etc.  I have been in therapy for many years with the issue of marriage always the main focus.

Hello All,

I am a long-time reader of this site and forum. And so many posts are similar to my struggles with my untreated ADHD husband. His lying, avoidance, being financially irresponsible. All the pressure being on me to earn the majority of our income to support our family. And his constant empty promises or his lashing out and defensiveness.

We have been together about twelve years and married for seven and have five-year-old twins. And I am just so exhausted from it all.