Recent forum posts (all topics)

   My wife and I haven't been together very long, but the issues associated with her ADHD have affected us in many ways. Lately it has been very bad and her threats to divorce me have increased dramatically. She claims everything is my fault and blames for the marriage failing. I'm far from perfect, but I see so many of our problems stemming from her ADHD. 

Your spouse notices that you been acting differently lately, acting down, distant, aloof. Even before you realize it. You think about it, about why, and ultimately it comes down to your spouse's ADHD and feeling disappointed about things or something.  You know you need to accept it, suck it up, and move on. You know it's not something that he can control or does on purpose. It's not negative, it's not hateful, it's not hurtful....it's just disappointing...in how it effects you and the lives you planned together.

I've been reading everyone's posts for a while, so thank you all for helping me to feel less alone.  I really need to tell someone what is happening as I cannot tell anyone I know. My husband is ADHD, has been since he was a kid but his parents chose to take him off medication. He was rediagnosed three years ago and I read everything I could on the subject. He wasn't interested in learning, wouldn't even let me speak about it, and just took the 30mg of Adderall and an anti-depressant that his GP gave him. I said for years that his medication was wrong.

Well, I am the ADHD, but I thought I'd post something POSITIVE.

I'm new here- I have been reading, and seeing so many sentences that mirror my life.  I've always known something is missing in our 15 year marriage.  No emotional connection. I'm an emotional person, H is devoid of feelings.  We tried Dr. Phil's relationship rescue.  Well, I did anyway.  H has ZERO defining moments.  He has no memories of feeling any kind of emotions.  He can't name the happiest times, saddest, anything. 

Question here.  I've noticed a few common themes with those of us who were or are in long term marriages with a person with ADHD. (Especially when it hasn't been controlled) 

We are going through a very difficult time in our marriage. 

My husband is constantly angry and it feels like I can never do anything right  

He  is constantly on edge and ready to lose his temper at the drop of a hat. He is snappy, rude, irritable, and sometimes mean.  It's rare for Him to cook a meal calmly without snapping. He says he enjoys cooking, but he is so wound up when he is cooking and snaps at anyone who happens to say something or cross his path. 

Hi.  I am new to the group. Married for 15 years 3 children together for 20.  All these years I thought my husband was being an a@@hole.  I finally asked him for a separation because I felt I was crazy.  Mostly because that what he told me.  Finally went to a therapist on my own and he followed suite.  Discovered he has ADD. I thought I can do this but do not think I can. This is all too much.  I feel like he got in an accident and is now a different person.  I find myself even getting angry at my therapist for telling me this is not his fault and I have to give him less responsibility.

What happen's when we find ourselves in relationships that aren't pleasing to us? I found something a few years ago that brought light to my pain. It was something that turned my focus inward, and upward...It was something that saved me from Blame, Anger and Frustration (except the  days and nights I fall prey to my own carnal thinking, and find myself backsliding into being a victim again)....Because it told me "WHY" I was suffering...And; as hard as it was (and is) for me to admit my brokenness in this area...I eventually realized this was the foolish road I was own...