Recent forum posts (all topics)

Dear lord--does it NEVER get better???  If you have read any of my posts, you know my back story--the last 5 years have been awful.  At our first January 2017 marriage counselor appointment I finally told both the counselor and DH that I just cannot continue to pretend our marriage is going to get any better.  We are civil roommates on a good day, let's just leave it at that.  Most days I am totally fine with that, even relieved.  But...weekends...god I hate weekends.

I don't post often but read often.  Helps me keep my sanity.  23 years in w/ADD husband.  Most of the issues discussed here apply off/on to us at any given time.  He's a great man and we have foundation of unconditional love, which is a blessing not had by all...but ADD issues are a constant battle.  We're leaving for 3 night getaway for anniversary tomorrow and have been sniping at each other for days.  How sad this makes me.  So much dysfunctional communication.  He thinks he can't do anything good enough.  I feel like I'm blamed for everything.

Ms. Orlev,

I am a 43 year old male on the brink of divorce.  My wife and I have been separated for over five months.

We separated at her request because I was not present for her as a husband or as a father to our son since he was born over two years ago.

I didn't put her and our son first.  I didn't even put them second or third!  I put work, coaching other children and my own needs ahead of her and our son.

I has officially diagnosed on Monday, so thats good and it shows that Im not just crazy.  I have problems communicating with my wife though. I havent started therapy yet so I turn to you all to see if I can get some pointers or something.

I started seeing a therapist a few months back. We've been mostly dealing with my self-confidence issues. I've already seen some important benefits. Somewhere around the time I started my therapy, my partner of 15 years (husband for 11) was diagnosed with ADHD. ANd suddenly all the suffering started making sense. (Btw, it is great that his diagnosis and me working on my issues have coincided, otherwise I don't think we would make it).

I got this from an old post back from a couple of years...It really helped me to understand myself...If you deal w/ a fast mind; ( or think you might) this information (to me) is quiet accurate generally speaking (Don't agree w/ every opinion of the author)...

If add/adhd is best scored on a sliding scale say 1-10...I'm at 6 or above on a few of these...I'm at 5 or below on several more....And then there is 5 or 6 that I do not identify w/ at all.

C

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, married for 13. We have 3 boys and as they get older and their issues become more apparent it feels like it has brought our issues more clearly into the light. About a year ago my husband got an official diagnosis of ADHD. I was hopeful that a diagnosis would help improve certain things in our relationship that are consistent sources of conflict. These things are, poor time management, poor sleep habits- trouble waking, hyper-focus, lack of planning, impulsivity and distractibility.

So quickly:

I come from a big blended family. We are very loud, educated and ADHD. Living in a foreign Country, my parents had to deal with some of my siblings showing symotoms of ADHD but never diagnosed. Mostly because my parents didn't believe in ADHD. I was always inattentive but got a formal diagnosis at 17.

My husband has severe ADHD.  While this makes him the "fun outgoing one" it is the most frustrating thing to me and is only seeming to get worse.  The "drop and go" messy, unorganized way he is, the leaves cabinets and drawers open, zones out on computer games is SO frustrating but safety issues are now the biggest problem.  We have twin 4 year olds and my son is on the autism spectrum, sensory seeking, and no safety awareness.

Last night I confirmed something I long suspected and something inside me just... I dont know...