Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband ruins nearly every vacation, but always blames others (usually me) for getting very upset, getting drunk, etc.  

After awhile (I can be slow ...lol) I realized that he doesn't do well away from the comforts and routine of home.  So, when I needed to travel for a family wedding (I hadn't seen my family in nearly 3 years!), we agreed that he would stay home and I would go alone.  

  Anyone have  issues with the ADHD spouse  drinking too often and too much? 

Hi all, 

Hi Everyone, this is my first post.  I am 46 and my wife is 34,  we have been together for 4 years, married for 2.  How have you made it work?

Hi all, I'm new to the forum.  My H of over 20 years has ADD and recently accepted the diagnosis. I can defintely vent about ALL my frustrations and I've read several post and can relate to many comments.  I will comment in the future specifically but right now I need your help. I need calming techniques so that I can work with H on building our marriage back up again.  Just reading your comments makes me angry and I am tired of being so frustrated ALL THE TIME.  Can anyone out there suggest some great tips and techniques just to lower the stress and frustrations.

So this is one of those moments that I KNEW I would have, where I am in that "what was I thinking" mode.  I still think I made the right decision to let him stay until March (or when he gets what he needs to go be on his own) - because I made that choice out of love.  But I certainly DO feel like he was making those changes, and following through on things etc to get me to let him stay - I feel like he manipulated me.  Because once that I did, he has really slacked off and gone back to how he used to be.  At this point, he contributes VERY little to the home regularly.  He does pay for his

Anyone else with an ADHD spouse hate the holidays?  It's all so difficult and awkward--I wish I could just leave from the day before Thanksgiving until the day after New Years.  I have never bought DH a gift he actually used or liked and now AGAIN I have to think of something.  Last year I bout him 4 shirts he ASKED for and never wore.  I returned two of them after a while and he never noticed.  Ditto a book I bought him about a show he watches.  The book went in the bottom drawer of his night table and I finally returned that too.  He never noticed.

So I have been married for almost 4 years now.  I have ADHD, MDD, insomnia and panic disorder and possible bi polar disorder. She has been told she has anxiety and a personality disorder (most likely BPD), but refuses get diagnosed or treated because shes in the military and is afraid of repercussions. Her psychiatrist allows this. I am on medications for all of my disorders as well as seeing a physiologist. I have been making good forward progress with myself, which she agrees with, yet tells me Im getting worse when shes yelling at me.

How is  it possible to be married to an unreliable adhd spouse?

If he is unreliable, how can I have long lasting satisfying marriage?

If I am adjusting to meet all his adhd needs, what happens to my needs? Who am I supposed to rely on?

After reading through many posts, it seems like the advice is ... accept it and deal with it your entire life, or don't and get a divorce.

The advice says to stop having expectations... but how can i not have any expectations of my husband? How can I do that? He certainly has them for me that I have to meet.

My husband is not diagnosed and currently we are living in Africa, so getting a diagnosis will be a challenge to say the least.  I have been reading and researching, trying to educate myself and then sharing with my husband.  He's a bit in denial, he agrees this may be him, but feels it's very mild in his case and not much of a problem for us.  He thinks I'm just not relating to him in a positive enough way, that I make him nervous, and no one would ever be able to live up to my standards.  I just want honesty and reliability.