Recent forum posts (all topics)

hi, I'm new here. I was diagnosed with ADD long ago, was put on meds and when my mom didn't like the effects, I was taken off. My grades suffered and I never did graduate. I was 2 credits short. I never did blame ADD. I took on the idea that ADD wasn't even a thing. I was just a slacker. Well fast forward to recently. I saw an article about ADD and while scoffing, decided to read it anyways. I was astounded by how many boxes I ticked. I probably wouldn't give it a second thought if my relationship wasn't suffering.

Hey everyone,

I am so glad I found this forum. I literally googled how do I handle my ADHD husband not being able to get to work on time? This forum was in the search results. I just spent a little while reading some of the posts. Oh man is it a relief to know that there are others. I thought I was the only person on this earth crazy enough to put up with some of the things that go on.

After months of trying and realizing how futile it is to get a wife who hates your ADHD was to see you as anything but an idiot, I have asked for a separation. We still live together and our child is not aware if he break. Its a little awkward but I think better than before. Here are ten reasons why: 1) Renewed intimacy. Before I stupidly went about life hoping that I can somehow miraculously earn affection and sex by not being myself for long enough. Now I can relax and if a woman finds me attractive I can pursue. about half a dozen women seem interested. I feel like a man again.

ADHD,

I have come to loathe your name; in fact, I don’t want to give you any recognition by having a full name.  I want you to have only initials.  It is hard enough for me to recognize and accept your existence.  I won’t dignify our relationship by letting you have a full name in my mind.

My ADHD husband grew up with parents that constantly bailed him out of one mess then another time and time again. I suppose it was easier to bail him out and do it themselves than have the patience for him to learn and fix it himself. So when we got together our dysfuctions worked together. Twenty years later I realize that there were dysfuctions and I have realized mine and been on a path to correct mine. In the process we found that he is ADHD and let me tell you that diagnosis really answered many questions from over the years. 

I have come to the conclusion, at least with my ADHD husband, that it's either accept him just like it is, or walk away. He is not going to change, I think that is the bottom line with adhd, you decide that you either accept things how they are or you don't and walk away. You have to let go of expectations. In my marriage, my husband's pros are that he is very supportive of me and what I do, he is affectionate and he wants to do better and in his own slow progress he does try a little.He will do what I ask him to do, pretty consistantly.

In our culture, there is a certain financial expectation for adult men living in a committed relationship.  When that is disturbed, it seems that serious household dysfunction nearly always follows.

 

I just realized that as I'm working my 2 jobs and taking overtime on top of that and barely making the rent and he's not working and just sitting there watching Law and Order or Star Trek, that our daughter needs to be registered for school. School starts Monday. He has said he's "very motivated" to get her into school (you know it's because he can get rid of her most of the day so no distractions from TV watching). He says he will drive her every day. That's the extent of his "motivation." 

I can't find how to get my husband diagnosed and treated because the testing costs so much. Is there ANY way to get this man treated? He's ruining our lives.