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I've been reading through some of the posts on the forum and I can't help but find myself feeling as though I've been slapped in the face!  I see others feeling/experiencing/dealing with all of the same things I've been experiencing/feeling/dealing with!  I just want to say thank you God, I am not alone -- for the longest time I have felt utterly alone in this turmoil.

A little background:

My DH has ADD. Many of his behaviors I attribute to ADD. However, some of his behaviors I'm just not sure about.

For example, He gives away, throws away, and sells my belongings. These are items that I made, that I bought or that have sentimental value to me. It's very hurtful. Once he tried to throw away a box of keepsakes from my childhood. Luckily, I caught him before he succeeded. His personal belongings, on the other hand, he cherishes and keeps almost to the point of hoarding. In your opinion is this behavior linked to ADD or is something else involved?

So my husband is ADHD even though he hasn't been formally diagnosed. He knows it, I know it, there is no question.

He works from home and has a great job in sales, spends a lot of time on the phone, but also has decent down time as well. Slow days to watch tv, browse the internet etc, while a lot of very nonstop days on sales calls, and the occasional meeting he travels to in his territory.

We have been married almost 20 years and have three teenagers. I love my husband very much.  Even though we've both always had to work (isn't that mostly everyone today?), he's always done his part with work and contributing to the expenses (usually more than me). He was very much unlike my Dad and was very quiet and humble, I suppose that's part of what I found attractive.  

This is my first post, I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and was put on Ritalin around the age of 9 and had bad side effects with mood while on it.  My parents took me off of it and I went through life until I was about 28 when I talked with my doctor and got put on Adderall, I had depression issues with it and added Citalipram to deal with the depression side effect.  I met my wife about a year later and have been married for about 4 years now with two beautiful daughters.

I have heard some spouses mention that their spouses have a "severe" or "extreme" case of ADHD.  And, some have said that their spouse's doctor has used those words.  What do they MEAN?   What are the specifics that "take it to extreme"?

I just came across this site, and SO many things hit home with me...Like others have said, I feel like I'm reading about my own situation. It's all so eerily similar! Permit me to share some ways in which I related to the other posts. It would do me some good to vent.

Does anybody else feel sad for how they have changed being married to an ADHD person?  It is quite possible I am having a big ol' midlife crisis (I am 44) but lately I think about what I was like 20 years ago and what I am like now.  Of course I would change and grow over 20 years of marriage and life and two kids, but what I thought about the world and my place in it--that is totally different.  I used to think my husband was the man of my dreams--I used to tell him so.  Now I cannot imagine that I ever felt that way.

I know it's a hard holiday for those of us in relationships with people who don't know how to or choose not to show love and compassion.  I hope we all still have a good day.