Recent forum posts (all topics)

Therapist and I on Different Pages

If I had posted last week, this would not have been a story of hope.  My ADD sweetie came home from therapy Thursday night announcing she was going to go to Cleveland (from Boston) to see her dad the next day before getting on a plane today to fly to Israel.  Her therapist was fully supportive of this idea and had even gone online to check bus and plane schedules.  According to my sweet friend, her therapist also said that if I really loved her that I would support her need to go see her dad.  The most painful part of this for me was that I was completely shut out of the process.

Need help on bringing up a sensitive topic

Can anyone offer ideas on how to bring up a very sensitive topic to my ADHD spouse? He is very private and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. No one in our family knows about it and I don't foresee that changing in the near future. While I have gotten a lot of support from books, research and forums, I feel I need to belong to a group to get more support. I am not sure if there is a support group for the NON-ADHD spouse in my area, but I would like to try to find one. I brought this up with my husband and it did not go well at all.

How do you handle weekends?

I am just curious if anyone can offer suggestions on how to handle weekends in your adhd marriage. I have never been fond of weekends because it is so much unstructured time. My ADHD husband works 60 to 80 hours a week and likes to decompress on the weekends. We have two young children and I like to plan family time/activities into our weekend. My husband is fine with that and enjoys our family time. We both like to have some individual down time as well.  Our issues/fights occur when I ask him to give me a sense of when he will cut the grass or projects around the house.

Broken

My Husband of 16 years has been diagnosed with ADHD.  He has 4 stages according to the Amen Clinics.   We are in active counseling and working to supplement his diet to manage the ADHD.  He has not yet taken the steps towards medication which is a huge problem for me. 

The "forgetful" mode

Asking a question here............. I've read in the ADHD books (including Melissa's) about the ADHD forgetfulness. This forgetfulness is extreme and rampant. I see this in action when it comes to my ADHD husband's remembering important things that concern me or the family, etc., but mainly I see it in how he "forgets" what he/himself says and/or does. He says very hurtful things, behaves in hurtful ways BUT when I ask him about it he says "I don't remember that". But he will remember EVERYTHING someone says or does that hurts HIM......even "perceived"  slights.

Verge of divorcing my ADD husband of 13 yrs. help me help him

I have been married to my husband for 12 years and been together for 14 yrs. we have a ADHD son age 10. I am Non-ADD 37 and husband is 40. We are at the stage in our lives where we both believe it's just easier to divorce. I love my husband. I want to help him with his worrying. 

Husband trying to act "normal"

I feel very odd about this, and it's very difficult to frame into words, but I feel so frustrated (?) and frightened (?) and empty (!) because my husband seems to be trying very hard to behave like a reasonable individual and - outwardly - appears to be pretty much asymptomatic at this time. This has been only for the past 2 weeks or so. For me, this experience feels like hoveringin the twilight zone, because I know that nothing has really changed and so I guess I am wary of the next big explosion.

The Good, the Bad and the Paranoid

First of all, I'm new to this forum.  Today is my first day, and this is my first post.  I happened upon this website accidentally while trying to research info about ADHD.  My husband is undiagnosed, but he has ALL of the symptoms:  I want to clarify that I love him, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him.  I can't imagine my life without him...he's a great guy, and he is a wonderful man, but there is just something wrong...and it's ADHD.

Husband gives me a snarky attitude for going out with a friend! Is this typical of an ADHDer?

So I tell H last night when I get home that I am going out with my friend on Tuesday after work. His first response was "Oh yeah?" in an actual nice tone like "good for you", but then that immediately turned into "Oh fine I see how it is. Go do your pub crawl with her and not me that's fine" I then tell him "It's not a pub crawl it's dinner. We can still do the pub crawl after work some day". He goes "No no that's fine. Go have your fun and I'll just party it up here". I got real quiet and walked out of the room wanting to cry.

New Beginnings

Well up until a month ago my marriage was over. My husband had moved out, we were both blaming each other after many years of trying, failing, trying again, making agreements that would last for a month or so and then things would go back to how they were before. The ending of the marriage (we have been together 12 years and married for 10) was so fast and so brutal I barely had time to think.

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