Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello all,

I have been reading posts and I am always amazed at the similarities we all experience.  I have to admit, I have to stop readings some times of I start to feel hopelessness.

I just need to vent a bit.

I'm the one whose non treated/non diagnosed ADHD BF walked away from our 3.5 year relationship without a word after a big fight (in which his alleged, by me, ADHD was in question...he both admits it and denies it and has always adamantly refused to change or work on a relationship).

I spent Sunday night in jail for not taking care of a returned check that my ADD husband said he would handle/help me with. I've been through garnishment, sued, evicted, several bank accounts closed, cars reposed  and the shear turmoil and embarrassment of it all. I've covered up so much from my friends and family that I don't even remember the truth. 

I’ve been doing some thinking about inaccurate self-observation and the narratives that people build around it, and I’m curious to hear about other people’s experiences. I find that often when my boyfriend and I disagree about something, he thinks he holds the “truth” for the interpretation of events he is involved in. When it comes to feelings, he has invalidated mine because he thinks they are an inaccurate representation of both his intention and his actions.

3 years of marriage and DH still can't control his anger..Anger is very stressful especially when you are in a great mood and trying to just discuss a matter with him and he just starts to flare up with no warning..When is a good time to approach him?..I resumed back to one of my ADHD books where it states that verbal cues and body language also the way in which you speak has a lot to do with the response_response hence the wrong interpretation..I on the other hand would sometimes forget how to approach him with everyday life concerns etc,then the message is processed wrongfully to him and

I have just listened to this programme on BBC Radio Scotland. Although the lady in the programme is talking about her decades of marriage with her husband who is bipolar, rather than ADHD, her fortitude and resiliance is relevant to anybody living with a partner with any mental health condition. She talks a lot about how she can only change her own responses and behaviour, which is the same message as Melissa Orlov gives in her book. I'm not sure how long this programme will be available for, so best to listen asap.

My husband that I am separated from but living with right now, blew up this morning. It started with him attempting to start laundry while I was cooking breakfast. I reminded him (not as gently as I should for such an unstable personality) that I planned on doing my laundry after breakfast, but told him he could if he keeps up with it. He declined. 

He gave me the cold shoulder after that and a couple hours later, announced he was going to the laundromat. I reminded him how silly that was, considering mine was almost done, and he started in with the blame. 

DH decided to take a leadership role in son's cub scout pack. I warned him about the work involved and advised against it, but true to form, he took it anyway. I told him not to expect me to help, as I am already ds's den leader and we have a daughter in her own activities. Because the pack leader left, he was basically just handed everything with no one in place for other leadership roles. He either hyperfocuses and spend crazy amounts of time planning, researching, etc., or does nothing with.it. He planned a pinewood Derbyworkshop for tomorrow.

Just need to vent, I just can't stand my husband, most of the time (99% of the time).  Everything he does annoys me.  He can't remember anything I say.  We are planning a trip to DC, actually I am planning the trip.  I've told  him over and over when we are leaving, how long the drive, etc.  He asked me just now, how long is the drive?  Can you please remember something!  He asks me stupid questions that he should really be able to decide on his own, he heated up chicken nuggets for our son and asks me are they hot enough?  He is 44 years old, he can't tell if they are hot enough.  My son e