Recent forum posts (all topics)

It's not me, it's you!

I am new to this forum...and i have just realized my husband wasnt kidding when he told me he has adhd. I love him and I want to grow old with him...but if he doesnt do something about his adhd, i will be forced to leave. We have been married for five years, together for seven. We have a four year old and a newborn. We both have college degrees, a mortgage, both work professional jobs....and we have hopes and dreams. The downfall is I sticking to our goals...and how we initially plan to achieve them. tbc...

Why do I do this?

I get so frustrated with myself for apologizing all the time when my ADD husband and I get into conflict.  He always tells me why I am wrong to feel what I feel or react how I react.  I honestly wish I was just a robot and then maybe there would be peace in this household.  If only I didn't have feelings, expectations, frustrations and heaven forbid negative reactions to anyone else's behavior that lives under my roof.  I'm not allowed to express any of this  or I am "unloading" on him.  It takes about 500 positive interactions to make up for any negative interaction with him.  So, that mea

Kids before Marriage and Life

My partner was diagnosed with ADD and began medication a little over a year ago.  Since then he has gone through some remarkable changes and shown a real dedication to growing with this deeper awareness of who he is and how it has impacted his life up to this point.  Needless to say, our marriage has also improved with this new direction.

Deception

Husband, as usual, is out of town for the weekend for his job.  Yesterday, there was a call to our house, which the answering machine picked up, from a person at a company saying that she needs to speak to my husband about his investment in the company.  I was not aware that he has this investment.  I recently filled out college financial aid applications and thought I had complete information about our finances and apparently I didn't. 

After anger and frustration: Giving up

Does anyone have any good advice on what to do once you realize you've reached the end of the line in your marriage?

It has been a long time coming but finally, I think it's time to just cut my losses and accept that our marriage has failed and there's nothing more I can do about it. And now I have no idea what to do with this new situation.

We've tried. Both in our own ways, I suppose. For years. And years. And years. In the end, never really getting anywhere. No progress or any real change for the better. Just worse and worse in slight increments over a looooong time.

When do my needs get met?

When do I get to hurt?  When is it my turn to be the one who needs help?  If it's not the ADHD, then it's the depression that disrupts our marriage.  Although my husband does contribute in some ways to the running of the household and family, I feel like the lion's share is on my shoulders.  I don't feel like I can fully trust him since he's proven he lacks the ability to follow through on things that are important.  It hurts to see him hurting, but I am too.  He used to give me so much emotional support and now I feel like I get none.

Physical Connection

There are many issues with my marriage, and most of the severe ones are due to my ADHD. Given this reality the focus is on mitigating my symptoms, and any mental foray into MY complaints seems to be dangerous. It can so easily in discussion go the way of deflecting her concerns or just sound hypocritical. Nevertheless, in the past I cannot remember having any complaints. I simply hid from reality and had neither positive nor negative things to say about the relationship. I'm sure now that this ambivalence is gone.

Last posting. Best of luck to everyone.

I wanted to thank for the support and help I got from this forum when I was dealing with my ADHD husband.  Our divorce has been finalized and I am done with my short marriage. He moved out of town and I will never see him again. I might encounter different types of despair and pain in my life, but hopefully it will not be as devastating as it has been during my marriage.

Understanding ADHD when spouse just got diagnosed

My husband just got diagnosed with ADHD and when the doctor called him to tell him the news, he also recommended marriage counseling for us because he noticed stressed between us, but my husband says ADHD is not the reason why we got marriage counseling recommended... We have been arguing too much even before this news but to me this condition is the reason? 

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