Recent forum posts (all topics)

If you know my story, my spouse and I have been separated for months. He has untreated ADHD. I am trying to balance co-parenting with him and maintain a friendly and supportive relationship. I also come here to continue to work out some stuff from our pretty traumatic relationship. 

I filed for a legal separation yesterday.  This is progress and I'm feeling hopeful.  Here's why:  1) After I told my husband, we had a calm discussion about the legal and practical ramifications of the filing and of a possible separation.  It has been awhile since we've been able to stay on topic when the topic is serious and personal.

I have been lurking here for a while. My husband of 20 years was recently diagnosed with ADHD-Inattentive type. It took my leaving to get him into diagnosis and treatment. I have experienced many of the problems discussed here: his chronic unemployment and related financial problems, mental exhaustion and  feeling like the only responsible adult in the house because he cannot seem to make or keep a to-do list, frustration and hopelessness, etc.

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My paradigm of the Chain of Events:

1.  My spouse is in the dining room, backing-up (walking).  I don't remember why he was walking backward.

2.  My son is walking forward, carrying a bowl of 'right-off-the-stove' Ramen Noodle Soup.

3.  I am standing near the stove.

4.  A collision of the 2 men happens.  

5.  I cry out my spouse's name.

6.  Both men are splashed with boiling hot soup.

My final straw came this week.  I don't talk to my husband much about our problems and he is happy for me not to do so.  But for me, although talking about things is hard, it seems just as bad to not talk about them.  So, I brought up how frustrated I am.  My husband almost immediately redirected the conversation to explaining how my bad reactions cause him to respond the way he does.  Once again, he took off the table the thing that I see as the major problems:  that he won't look for a better job and that he is contributing only minimally to the family, financially and in other ways.

What its like to have ADHD

 Hi, This is the first time I have ever posted anything in my life. I am typically an insanely private person, but I’m at such a low point in my life I can’t help but reach out. I’ve been on an off of this website for a few years now and have gained some great insight, but haven’t activity participated in any of the discussions. I have certainly related with so many of the postings.

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First, let me say, I am committed to my marriage and do not want to break up my family.  But ADD is making my life hell.  I have almost completely shut down towards my husband and just can't seem to help it.  He is trying and honestly has no idea how negatively his ADD affects me.  Or maybe he has head knowledge but it doesn't register enough for him to make any changes.  I know that my reactions to his ADD are just as bad as his inability to pay attention to me.  I am just at my wits end and so tired of being unhappy.  I have talked, cried, explained till I have nothing left.  He hears me