Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been dating a man for over a year now who was very open with me from the beginning that he had ADHD. At the time, I was not concerned as I had previously been married to a man with ADHD for 14 years and had some understanding of the diagnosis. This man and I were friends 20 years ago and "found" each other again and after admitting to each other that we had unresolved feelings for each other, we started dating. I have been very patient his mood swings and days of depression, but it is the verbal abuse I can't deal with.

Thought I'd share my experience from last month....

My life has gotten more hectic in the last 12 months or so, more work for me, more stuff at school for DD#1 DD#2 is 3 now and a handful and won't start preschool til the Fall because we don't have the money...etc. etc.  I've been emotionally very fragile since October when a little boy who was in my music class was murdered.  That fragility increases with each new report of violence it seems and I guess it will just never end.

This Saturday is my wedding anniversary.  My marriage is on the rocks.  I don't want to do anything on Saturday that is couple related nor could I if I wanted to, given that my husband will be gone, at his parents' home, as he is every weekend.  My husband probably won't call or anything.  That's OK, too.  What I want to do is something to celebrate me and my strides toward greater maturity and independence.  Any ideas?

My husband and I have been married for 18 years with 2 children, 14 and 17.  He has been on ADD meds for 6 years and in the beginning they helped.

Quote from "Switching Gears from Immaturity to Maturity in Marriage":

If you have ever been with children, you realize they are self-absorbed because they are in the center of their own worlds. Children place their pleasures at the center of almost every decision.This is normal for a child. It is abnormal for an adult.

Today a sales rep stopped over.  My spouse asked if I minded if he brought the guy into the house.  I am still in my PJs, so I said, "Yes, I would mind."

After the guy leaves, my spouse is slamming things around muttering under his breath.  Then he says, "You think people think you are treated so atrociously, well, I think this is atrocious."

Atrocious?  That was not a word I ever said.  Atrocious?  Much too strong of a word for the situation.

we have 2 kids, age 4 and 2 and are working on our marriage but after having read a lot of this site, I'm thinking that hope for a normal life is pretty much off the table. I really want another child but I feel like I would be choosing between having another child or preserving my marriage. Even if we are done having kids, there still aren't any guarantees , but I feel like having a third would put a lot of stress on me and our marriage and isn't worth it. It's a sad realization, actually. DH is on add meds and has been for years but still suffers many of the symptoms related to it.

I am not even sure where to start.  There is so much going on with my wife and me, but I am not sure I could get it all down in a logical way, so will start with the bare facts.

I am not sure if I am angry anymore.  I am so exhausted from this relationship that I do not even have the capability of being angry anymore.

I am trying to understand my wife's challenges with procrastination. She has recently been diagnosed with "non-traditional" ADD inattentive type. I think the diagnosis is vague because the therapist may see other issues. The thing that is puzzling to me is that she will not procrastinate if the task she has to do involves something that will result in people outside of our family (myself and two young boys) seeing or perhaps judging her. If someone has ADD, surely the procrastination occurs in both places - within the family and outside it.