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Quote from "Switching Gears from Immaturity to Maturity in Marriage":

If you have ever been with children, you realize they are self-absorbed because they are in the center of their own worlds. Children place their pleasures at the center of almost every decision.This is normal for a child. It is abnormal for an adult.

Today a sales rep stopped over.  My spouse asked if I minded if he brought the guy into the house.  I am still in my PJs, so I said, "Yes, I would mind."

After the guy leaves, my spouse is slamming things around muttering under his breath.  Then he says, "You think people think you are treated so atrociously, well, I think this is atrocious."

Atrocious?  That was not a word I ever said.  Atrocious?  Much too strong of a word for the situation.

we have 2 kids, age 4 and 2 and are working on our marriage but after having read a lot of this site, I'm thinking that hope for a normal life is pretty much off the table. I really want another child but I feel like I would be choosing between having another child or preserving my marriage. Even if we are done having kids, there still aren't any guarantees , but I feel like having a third would put a lot of stress on me and our marriage and isn't worth it. It's a sad realization, actually. DH is on add meds and has been for years but still suffers many of the symptoms related to it.

I am not even sure where to start.  There is so much going on with my wife and me, but I am not sure I could get it all down in a logical way, so will start with the bare facts.

I am not sure if I am angry anymore.  I am so exhausted from this relationship that I do not even have the capability of being angry anymore.

I am trying to understand my wife's challenges with procrastination. She has recently been diagnosed with "non-traditional" ADD inattentive type. I think the diagnosis is vague because the therapist may see other issues. The thing that is puzzling to me is that she will not procrastinate if the task she has to do involves something that will result in people outside of our family (myself and two young boys) seeing or perhaps judging her. If someone has ADD, surely the procrastination occurs in both places - within the family and outside it.

I finally got my husband to agree to seeing a psychiatrist. We live in France and I went through so many hoops to get us there - translating letters from French to English you name it. It has been truly awful. Despite a history of ADD-like problems at school, work and in previous relationships my husband managed to convince the psychiatrist that I'm the problem. My nagging and constant monitoring apparently puts him under so much stress that he forgets stuff and gets distracted etc.

My spouse is hurting.  He is the place I want to sweep in and fix - because I really do have that power.  Bent.  Yield.  Change my mind.  

He is crying over the money we have spent on counseling over the past 29 years.

He is crying and shaking over the physical connection he has put between his deceased parents and the RV we purchased with some of the $$ he inherited when they passed.  He doesn't want to sell it - he doesn't want to share it - but he will not take the time off from work to use it, so it is slowly depreciating . . . . .and that makes it a thorn in MY side.

As a child, about the age of 8, I was diagnosed with ADHD.  I was given medication (Ritalin) and sent on my way. After being singled out every year of school after that-told I was LD and frequently embarrassed in class by the teacher, I decided to learn some strategies to help me concentrate in school. I started by marking the time on the clock on the wall and trying to attend to the teacher as long as I could while trying to absorb every single word and understand what she was saying. And when there was a pause, I would look up at the clock to see how long I was focused on her.

I wasn’t sure whether to post this as a vent or a story of hope – I’ve gone with hope – because as you will see I’m a bit of an optimist – but maybe I shouldn’t be!