Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi all,

Wondering how to deal with this problem.  My partner prioritizes sleep above all else.  When he doesn't get enough (most of the time, sadly), he is grumpy and hair-trigger all day long.  The problem is this: I really WANT to get to sleep at the same time as him.  I don't have any issues with falling asleep or staying asleep, which is a mercy!

Reasons:

I believe my husband is an undiagnosed ADD maybe a bit ADHD... I'm wondering if anyone can recognize this behaviour in him. I arrived at this website as I was searching for information to help me understand my husband's communication style. I feel like I want to clobber him on the side of the head and reset his brain. Most of the time I feel like I'm living with a teenager, he hyper-focuses on a new hobby as if nothing else exists and lives in a peter pan world of his own.  I can't seem to get through to him, when I try to tell him something I have to pin him down ... i.e.

So glad to have found this site. I'm reaching out to anyone who is willing to answer because I feel so desperate and alone. There's a whole mountain more to talk about, but I'll sum up what's been going on.....

My ADHD husband works for a small company (like 10 employees) that does not offer direct deposit. Yep, they hand him a check on payday. You can imagine how difficult it is for him to get the check to the bank (even though there is a bank branch right across the street from his office.) You can imagine the stress it causes when he swears he had the check in is pocket, yet can't find it (luckily he had left it at work). Did I mention he is the main breadwinner? I would be happy to deposit it, but even getting it home is a problem. He got paid on Thursday.

Hi.  I'd like some suggestions for activities a spouse can do on her or his own when in a relationship with an ADHD spouse, particularly if the non is contemplating a formal separation or divorce.  I'm looking for suggestions both for activities that I should know how to do so as to live independently (e.g., home repairs) and activities that I can do for fun as a quasi-single person (i.e., a person who the rest of the world thinks is married but whose spouse is emotionally or physically absent or distant and thus not available for activities).

I am a non-ADHDer married to an ADHD spouse. I'm having trouble telling if he has developed a problem with alcohol, if he is just displaying his ADHD in a somewhat new way, or if I am just overly sensitive. Let me note here that I do not have a problem with having a glass of wine (or even two) or beer at dinner in theory, though I myself don't enjoy alcohol, so I rarely drink it.

Hi,

I'm new to this site and forum. I have a lot of questions about living with ADD and with a spouse who has ADD. But before I get into my questions, let me give you some back story. Sadly, this is really long, but I don’t know how to make it shorter without leaving a lot out. Probably a lot of it will be familiar to many people. 

My husband and I have been married for about 6 months now. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and took Adderall off and on throughout his life, but for the past 3-4 years he has been taking it consistently. I've read the books and I'm reading all the forums and I still feel so lost. My husband is a wonderful guy but his self-esteem and confidence is almost non-existent when it comes to his career and work abilities. He has been a nurse for about six years but has been fired from many jobs because he says inappropriate things at times.

It's been a long time since I've been on this site.  On the whole, things have been going really well with my wife and I.  This morning I experienced something that I'd like advice on. 

"....an ability to rationalize their behavior so that it appears warranted, reasonable, and justified...... a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others.....they are completely forthright about the matter, calmly stating that they have no sense of guilt, [and] are not sorry for the pain and destruction they have caused which is associated with a remarkable ability to rationalize their behavior."    This, I am guessing, is what many of us are coping with in our partnerships/marriages.