Recent forum posts (all topics)

Relationship Anxiety and ADD

 

I was recently dx with inattentive ADD.   They also think I may have the mild bi-polar as well, were still not sure at this time.  My question is this.  It seems my whole life i havn't been hyper on the outside but inside ive been VERY anxious, always doubting in my relationships, going back and forth, having turmoil and NO PEACE inside.  I mean I pray, I do everything I can think of, and when that doesn't work I just leave the relationship to "be alone" thinking I can "fix" the doubts or anxiety on my own.  

Closing doors

Just wondered if anyone had any idea how I could crack this one.  My boyfriend’s allergic to cats.  He can get up close to them and stroke or play with them but if he spends too long in a room with a cat he gets congested and has trouble breathing, especially at night.  I used to let my cat on the bed but since he’s been coming to my house more often I’ve banned the cat from my bedroom at all times. 

Happiness

Are people with ADHD/ADD happier than nons?  I was just watching a TED speech which claims that happiness is living in the moment, putting a positive (real or unreal) "spin" on ALL that happens in your life, leaving things "open ended" rather than tightly decided.  And we know that having "less expectations" is a better path to happiness.  It might also be that the more responsibility you pile on yourself, the less happy you are.  Acceptance with WHAT IS would seem to make a person happier rather than having desires that will never be met.

EXTREMELY sensitive/personal material

Long story short - I'm non-ADD married to ADD for 3.5 yrs after a 3 yrs courtship.  Typical cycle - courtship hyperfocus, led us to move in after 6 weeks.  Abruptly fell away as usual w/ the occasional resurface of it here and there.  His finances were a mess despite a high income.  After huge battles, I got it under control and he now has A+ credit only b/c of me.  The sex I learned early on that he was a happy participant as long as I instigated, which got old real quick and of course killed my self esteem.

is this ADHD or something else? This sucks.

This is such a tough situation and I recognize that it is affecting my health, my happiness, and my children. I need this to change pretty soon. I am sorry this will be a long post. I am telling you, I used to be a kind, happy, considerate person with a great job and caring friends, a supportive extended family and a talent and joy for my work--just got a bonus and big award for doing well. I have a sense of humor. I like to have fun. But I am a wreck underneath at this point. A huge wreck, losing weight with migraines almost every day and hair falling out. My children need me.

3 months in. So depressed

I've been married to my adhd partner for 3 months now. My husband is a wonderful guy. He's so bright, intelligent, and fun. He's also almost completely irresponsible and (unknowingly) self-absorbed. I guess I could say our marriage is fairly typical of an ADHD marriage. He holds few household responsibilities (I do ALL the cooking - he refuses, I do 95% of the cleaning, I remind him to pay bills, etc), ignores problems then stonewalls me when I bring them up, and has this amazing way of turning me into the evil shrew wife whenever something goes wrong. He is partially treated.

I am the one with ADHD

And my husband is the non.  However, I often find myself identifying with the non ADHD wives in their rants about nothing being done.  So often, I am the one expected to organize and arrange everything.  DH comes up with brilliant ideas, then expects me to be the one to enforce them.  I try to arrange chore schedules, but by midweek, I am doing everything while he plays on the computer all day and I work outside the home full time.

Why Do I Feel Like the Worst Wife Ever?

So my hubby was supposed to get done with his overnight DJ gig at 4 this morning, but he wasn't home when I got up at 6:30am. I usually call him, fairly furious,  but I just didn't have the energy this morning. He called a few times before I left for work at 7am, but I didn't take any of them until I was on the road. I was angry when I finally answered the phone. I was doing that fake cheerful, I'm-not-going-to-let-this-get-to-me-when-it-really-has-already-got-to-me thing. The hubby is pretty perceptive and picked up on it right away.

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