Recent forum posts (all topics)

I feel like there is this ongoing destructive cycle in my home. My husband is trying his best to do what he thinks is important. I just see all that he leaves undone and get angry at feeling like I have to follow behind him and pick up all the pieces. When I complain, which seems to be more and more lately, he feels like I don't appreciate how hard he works. He does work hard and I do appreciate it, however, I don't believe working hard justifies leaving everything undone at home.

I am new to this site and just can't thank everyone here enough for sharing their struggles which mirror my own. For the first time in years I don't feel so alone and I've found some hope in the idea that I'm not crazy or needy. (Or, as my husband feels, a burden) Finally my struggles have a name:  ADHD and Marriage. 

How I make myself co-dependent:  Me: "Anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"  Maybe not in those words but that is my intention when I say it. In my mind, I want to be loved and supportive and "wifey".

So I tried to be in a really good mood today and woke up early as usual on a Sunday morning to go to the gym and my 5 yrs old was up already at 7am and she wished me a "happy birthday" and then she turned to my husband and said " wish mommy a happy birthday"  and he just mumble it from the other room not bothering to get up from the couch ( yes, again he slept on the living room).

I have been reading lots of posts about feeling alone. And that how bringing up your own feelings just cause a fight. BEEN THERE 20 yrs now. But besides just pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, learning to live with it or just leaving-how do you help your spouse recognize that you are not the bad guy? The intro of I phone and I pad has been the worst thing ever. He gets to talk endlessly about himself but when I grab a minute of conversation, heinstantl has to check something. When I question he just saysIM ADD. I CAN'T JUST SIT HERE DOING NOTHING.

I am pushing my non add wife to her edge.  She has given me something of an ultimatum, change or else, soon.  I want to change, I want to show her how much I love her.  But I fail.  I forget arguments and relive them.  I make promises and later don't even realize I made them.  She sees me make the same mistakes over and takes it as proof of uncaring and unloving behavior.  

I told him I was grateful for washing the screen room windows...a lot of them.  I brought him tea and made a pizza while he was doing it.  I asked if he wanted me to work on it with him.  No, he didn't.  I noticed that the water he was using was BLACK.  I said nicely in these words, "Looks like its time to change the water."   His response while wiggling his fingers in the air:  "I had it all going.....Now you went and ruined my.... ach.....!"  He stormed out of the room.   Slammed door.  Slamming things now.  Looks like we are dealing with ADD.  

I had an emotional serious talk with my ADHD boyfriend today. I was really sick of him spending time on his own, gaming, internet, stuffs he likes. He said he needs his own time, own space. Even when I was at his place, he is still doing his stuff on computer. So I asked could we do something together next week? he said "no we spent too much time together, I need some time off myself" I was so angry because the time we spent together is me sitting on couch while he is playing computer game. So I started a big fight talking about my frustration.

Sorry for the update posts - I feel like I have begun to make these here priarily for my own documentation, although hopefully others may find some value within them.

Last night I asked my estranged-withinthe-same-household-ADD-wife for a night (tonight) that we could spend together, working on "us".  She agreed.

I looked forward to it all day, although I admittedly began to feel disappointment as the evening wore on later and later her desire to "go for a walk" and the kid's needs for snacks, entertainment, etc. pushed "our time" further to the back burner.

That's what my relationship with my husband feels like.  We have been bickering about a few significant topics for more than three years now, since he was fired from his last full-time job.  One topic, about which I've pretty much given up hope:  looking for another full-time job.  The other topic:  my desire to have my husband help more around the house, given that I'm working more than he is and also doing more of the housework.  In the more than three years since the firing, my husband's only regular contribution to helping out around the house has been to vacuum ... sometimes.