Recent forum posts (all topics)

For example, I (the one with ADD) put up hampers behind each bathroom door to prevent the pile up.  Little things that make a big difference, any other suggestions?

As background, my husband is frustrated, understandably, but I feel like I have made such huge strides and don't get feedback on the things I have done around the house that (to me) make a big difference.  I'd love to implement more changes.

 

Chore lists? Shared calendars? 

Sometimes I literally feel like I am living with a crazy person who has no concept of interpersonal ethics or consideration.

Here is an example that happened today:

So my husband got the full battery of tests a couple of weeks ago.  He does have ADHD.  His most pronounced deficit was in processing speed.  I can definitely see that.

I did a little internet research on slow processing speed and medication.  I got from various anecdotes that the stimulant medications don't seem to work very well for that, and one thing that

*does* work is Provigil (aka Modafinil), which is not one of the standard ADHD meds. 

I have a very ADHD spouse of 13 years who was diagnosed 5 years ago and is extremely successful despite a lifetime of family and social discouragement. He is a funny, smart (gifted), supportive, driven, creative, and a reflective person. He is an ENTP and I am an INFJ and by and large we complement each other and have similar values. Since his diagnoses and sessions with his therapist he has taken a lot better control of his life and has created clearer rules about how people can treat him, to the extent that if we get into a full blown argument he makes it clear that I can leave anytime.

I am a 27 year old, college educated and my spouse is 31 and the same for him. He has ADHD. This is not the first time that I have been to this site. I visited before while we were in pre-marital counseling and our therapist tried to help me understand our issues stemed from having an ADHD related relationship. I learned well before that my DH could not handle too much at once, so I methodically gave him minor things to do, i.e.: the wedding planning. Passed with flying colors and I often gave him praises for his achievements.

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 8 months, we're turning 9 in a couple of weeks. At the start of our relationship he was different in a bad way, he used to flirt with other women in front of me, call them love, or say something like "this is my girlfriend", talking about the other girl. I was new to it, so i just smiled and pretend i was okay with it. He always did the same stuff, over and over again, even though i told him it hurt me.

Wow, for those of you who have just a little nagging feeling that your manipulative, conning, lying DH isn't just manifesting symptoms of ADHD, I found a great site you might want to explore: http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/

Here's a little snippet from it:

Your emotional and physical ‘Independence Day’ is the beginning of recovery.  It’s the day that you ‘come to’ and say:

Hi all,

Been a while since I've posted much.  Added "Stay Focusd" (actual spelling) to Google Chrome in order to limit my time on the computer.

 

I am the Non Add Spouse and I'm looking for some answers regarding memory lost when the ADD person is very angry. My partner gets extremely angry very quickly and is rude, condescending and mean some times. He knows (a few days later) that he crossed the line, but he cannot remember what happened. Is this a normal/predictable ADD effect? I have not found any info on this topic and wondering if any of you have experienced something similar. So think of your spouse being so rude to you, so angry, so mean... but he cannot remember what he did or said to you. This is pretty scary to me.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!