Recent forum posts (all topics)

will he always take me for granted?

I'm dating a guy with ADHD and since we don't live together and aren't married, a lot of common problems don't affect us. But I do feel taken for granted. I feel like I had his interest in the beginning, and then I lost it, and now I only get it back when he hasn't seen me in a couple weeks and misses me. So when I don't have his interest, I'm low on his list. He agonizes over canceling plans with people who honestly probably don't care, but when he cancels romantic plans with me at the last minute he doesn't even feel the need to say he's sorry.

Communicating About Money

How do you non-ADD spouses communicate with your ADD spouses about money?

For me and my ADD hubby, it's been one fight after another. When we were dating, he was employed full time, and seemed to be OK with managing his money. I think the fact that he had a surplus was the key. There was enough to eat out most every night and still pay the bills, albeit late since he never had the patience to sit on the phone to make the payment (or the memory to put the bills in the mail). That was before he was diagnosed.

"baggage"

I am building communication skills with DH,Tonight our discussion was based on his past hurt from childhood thru adulthood,and so far it's all been a huge resentful,hurtful past on his behalf,from cheating mother versus step father slash step brother/step sister,his life have been really tough,bad,hurtful and painful, through the books I have been reading and the forums and blogs here my education level on ADHD as been going good, and well understood,but,I am still learning.

Back to therapy... I don't know if that's good or bad??

Well after a year of 'calm' and the most peaceful quiet and 'normal' years in our relationship it feels like it's all starting to slip backward again and I am getting nervous and anxious about what's to come. My husband has been diagnosed with adhd and a mood disorder? and some form of PTSD. We haven't been told he's bipolar but his sister is and I don't know if his extremes are that intense or not to say that's the case. 

DH comes home tomorrow after being out of town for 6 days

My DH (ADHD spouse) has been out of town since Weds night.  I am a SAHM so I do appreciate him being the breadwinner, dealing with the boys when I ask so I can have a break, and things like that. But I must admit, it has been VERY nice to have a break from the crazy-train. No parenting inconsistencies, no broken promises, no communication roadblocks, no judgement (oh, he judges my parenting so much!), no one cramping my style so to speak. It's been very calm and enjoyable. The boys have been wonderful, especially my 8 yo.

Afraid?

There is some fear in leaving my ADHD husband.  He seems to live in the present with no regrets, no worries for the future, he lies to cover up things or to keep me uninformed of his activities/non-activity, and he has a distorted vision of what he does and what he says.  Things don't make sense.  Sometimes even within one sentence he contradicts himself and sees no wrong in what he says.  Now I realize I have been manipulated from the very beginning but I always WANTED to believe him and believe in him.

Are these traits common in relationship with ADHD??

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years.  He has 3 kids and I have 2 kids and we have one son together.  We live together and split custody with our ex's.  We have a rollercoaster relationship.  We get a long great at times and we both feel so close to each other and very happy.  Then he says or does something very hurtful and we go down-hill for however long it takes us to reconnect. He is very sarcastic and likes to say things to get a rise out of me.  Sometimes I know when he is doing it, and other times the things he says are very hurtful and I'm not for sure if he mea

Crossroads

I am coming up on a crossroads in my life.  I have a husband that loves me more than anything and I know that.  But in the midst of dealing with his issues relating to (non-diagnosed) ADHD and life in general I do not like what I have become.  I need space and time alone to find myself and get back to what I once was which will help our lives more than anything else.  The rub?  I know that a separation will destroy him.  Even if I explain that this is what we need to help our marriage survive he will see it as an end and give up.  So, once again, I am putting his needs before mine.  I am ta

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