Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi all, I'm new to this site, but I've been reading it with ever-opening eyes for the past few days. I just realized that I am a woman with ADD and my husband and I are on our way to a classic control/parent/child situation. I am so relieved to have found this sight. All these years I thought I was lazy and undisciplined and now I find answers, people describing themselves, conversations, and situations that could be me. 

Kind of a vent I guess. I think out loud. I say out loud what I think. the medication helps stop it a little but I can't stop. I need to think out loud. I need to hear what I am thinking to make it make sense. I don't realise I am doing it its just how I think. Its harder to think in my head. My boyfriend hates it he hears me talking in another room and comes in wanting to know if I am talking to him. He also says only crazy people talk to themselves. I think that's supposed to be a joke but it hurts. I am trying to think out loud more quietly but now he says that just bugs him more! URGH!

Hi all. I wanted to come and give a quick update and say so long for now. 

I'm having huge struggles staying in the right frame of mind today.  This story is not about abuse, abandonment, joblessness, over-spending, etc., but it's like torture in that there have been thousands of these little stories in my long marriage and they just keep piling up (on?).  I just can't sweep them away fast enough to keep a loving frame of mind.

Hello Group,

 

Well firstly let me introduce myself, I am a 35 year old male recently diagnosed with severe ADHD here in the UK.

Now here in the UK there isn't really the support network that some of you have in the US, or that many forums so this is how I've found myself here, so story so far.

 

Hi all,

My wife and I have not been able to come up with a verbal cue that works for me to let my wife know when I find myself not listening to her anymore in a conversation because she is going into more detail than I can take in.  She hasn't been able to suggest anything, and whatever I suggest she doesn't seem to like.  I'd love to hear from people with and people without ADHD to hear what you have found that works.

Also - I'd like to ask - do you use these cues/words only when it's the two of you, or also when you are with others?

I've never posted here before and I've really not even read any posts. My wife has read a number of posts to me due to their similarity to our life. Most of the time I would glaze over and partially listen but sometimes I would catch details that would remind me of me, of course then I would completely shut down all listening. Well now I'm in dire straits, searching for a way to show her how I really feel, how much she really means to me. Her life with me  has been a roller coaster with each dip dropping lower then the last.

Hello everyone,

Hi All, I guess I'm writing this tonight just to update.. Basically i asked my DH to leave- because though I could and have taken many things that I feel were unkind, unfair, disconnected in our relationship- I had to pull the plug when his physical violence kept getting worse and I started to really fear his loss of control. He does not get it! He still blames me for "pushing him" to act the way he does. Its crazymaking- and for a long time I have been believing it. My friends and family have not been able to understand what I have been feeling -neither have I.

I see lots of comments from persons with ADHD in this forum about how in order for real change to take place, the person with ADHD needs support from his/her partner/spouse.  That criticism, judgment, and even just waiting silently will contribute to the person with ADHD's feeling like a TOTAL FAILURE.

My question for those with ADHD - what does support look like to you?  What are some specific things I can do to show support to my wife.  When I ask her, she says "less criticizing and controlling.  More compliments."