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I see lots of comments from persons with ADHD in this forum about how in order for real change to take place, the person with ADHD needs support from his/her partner/spouse.  That criticism, judgment, and even just waiting silently will contribute to the person with ADHD's feeling like a TOTAL FAILURE.

My question for those with ADHD - what does support look like to you?  What are some specific things I can do to show support to my wife.  When I ask her, she says "less criticizing and controlling.  More compliments."

i have been with my adhd boyfriend for 5 years just this november. we have a two month old baby and live together. we had a great first two years of the relationship then it all went downhill in a sense. i love him, but he's become such a burden. i want so badly for things to work out, but i sometimes wonder if he's capable of it or if he even wants to put in the effort at all. i feel like i've become a constant nagger. i ask him to help me do some simple task that i can't easily do myself like put a box away on a top shelf, but he just won't do it.

Hi all! 

Hi Everyone.  First time posting, so sorry if this topic has been addressed before. 

I'm a spouse of an ADHD husband (married 9 years)... I love him dearly and we've been through a real lot together.  It really helps our situation that I'm a very laid back, very patient individual.  I understand adhd top to bottom, have done extensive research on it and understand it fully. 

I haven't posted in a LONG time because things have been going relatively well.  I have learned to be more empathetic about certain behaviors and nag and criticize less, and my wife has been working really hard on managing her ADHD, including taking her meds and seeing a therapist.  We have read Melissa's book and attempt to use some of the techniques contained therein, including doing learning conversations when we find ourselves going in circles.

This is one of the worst conflicts we have. If you know you have to do something, what is the benefit of putting it off?

I am desperate and feel that my 13 year marriage is on the brink of divorce.  My husband found out a few years ago that he has ADHD (our 7 year old son was diagnosed shortly thereafter with PDD/NOS and ADHD).  I purchased a copy of Melissa's book on the ADHD Effect on Marriage in the hopes that it would help us (well, just me for now).  My husband is on medication now but everyday starting usually around noon, his meds seem to wear off and he is very quick to anger and verbal abuse.  Today, he asked me.. "So, what's wrong?

I have been in a 2 1/2 year relationship with someone I love. There is no doubt in that. But he has ADD and I have trouble reconciling who he wants to be with who he actually is.

In the spirit of the holiday (which really should happen at least once a week), I'd like to post a gratitude about my spouse, and encourage others to do the same.  Many counselors and "happiness" experts recommend a gratitude journal to keep life in perspective. 

I am grateful for knowing and loving a man who is so often upbeat and positive about our life.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.

Newfdogswife