I've been reading the forums for the past couple of weeks and often I'll get halfway through a response to someone who is going through so many of the same things and I'll stop and have to erase it because I'm not offering advice, I'm venting. I have the intention of offering advice but lately it all turns sour.
I guess I don't understand why we "non's" of ADHD'ers are told we are trying to "fix" our spouses ADHD. Most of the time we are trying to help things run smoother instead of having so much CHAOS all the time. The stress of trying to have as "normal" a life as possible, but always finding ourselves in extremely difficult situations, is a frustrating thing. Those of us who have had multiple years of undiagnosed adhd have lived a life of such confusion, that it's hard to understand the differences between "fixing" and "being able to get things accomplished with the least amount of stress".
I am married to a spouse with adhd and my spouse will not get help. My spouse blames me for everything. When I try to talk to my spouse about my feelings, concerns, fustrations, etc he always puts the blame on me, says I like to argue, says I enjoy fighting, ends the conversation, etc. In the past ten years of our marriage he has also called me names, said I had bi-polar, ocd, personality disorder whenever I would try to talk to him about things that were bothering me in the marriage he would get very defensive and angry and if I got upset or pushed my point any more towards him that i
I'm new to this forum - this is my first post. I do not have ADHD, but my husband was diagnosed with ADD around the age of 12. We were married last summer. We have been friends and have known each other since high school (dated for the past few years, more recently). I've known about his ADD diagnosis all along, but knew very little about how it affects adults, and I had no idea it was affecting our relationship until very recently.
Hello to all in the forums, thank you so much for being active in them. I have learned so very much from you all already just by reading your experiences!
It was not until my husband sought therapy for what we thought was depression, that he was officially diagnosed at 38 with ADHD. He was unhappy in the marriage due to lack of intimacy and he filed for divorce. It has almost been a year and I have delayed the court proceedings as long as I possibly can. But I am running out of time. I had no idea how much the ADHD had affected our relationship.
As I read through the many posts and comments on this site, it strikes me that many do not seem to have read Melissa Orlov's book yet ("The ADHD Effect on Marraige"). PLEASE READ IT TODAY! It is relatively short and very easy to read quickly.
My wife and I have been married for 12 years now. I'm 46, she's 40. When I was younger, I had quite the wild side sexually. At a certain point before we got married, I came into a faith/religious relationship that helped tone me down, and my wife had no experience sexually.
I kept thinking that nons is such a strange label. I was on a different forum and was reading a post called you know you're ADHD when and the poster referred to " neurotypicals. I had been wondering what NT meant.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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