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I need some help to understand something. For 3 3/4 of my 4 year marriage, I have had to carry the brunt of everything.... shopping, bills, the cleaning, cooking, laundry, child care, the list goes on. In all those years I can probably say that I was ever thanked FOR ANYTHING, less than a dozen times.

So I come home each night to a sad person. Sometimes she's happy, but making negative comments, sometimes (ocasionally she's actually happy)... but mostly discontented and difficult for me to follow... intellectually... I don't get enough info from her to follow her train of thought... anyway, back to my main point.

I have been with a wonderful man for a tumultuous three years and am just now fully digesting the depth of ADD's affect on our interaction.  We are dating long distance but, because we both work shift, end up spending more time together than the average couple.   He has a huge sense of play and I love it.  Relationship wise the ADD has made it quite a roller coaster ride as I strive to understand.  He, on the other had refuses to believe he's ADD and will not go for testing.  He is also dyslexic (formally diagnosed as a child) and can't stomach the idea of another "criticism" of who he is

So, we've come to the point in our therapy sessions where it's all out on the table now!

I am Codependent.

He has ADHD.

I was told to stop controlling him, telling him how he should treat his symptoms, how he should behave towards me. Instead, I should just let him know how I feel and what I want and need (which I've done millions of times, therefore according to our therapist, need not mention anymore) and leave it up to him to make the changes and get the help. (accept responsibility and take initiative)

I have been married to my ADD spouse for 10 years.  He has been diagnosed and has been on meds for about a year, which he says helps him concentrate.

I am so tired of doing everything.  I am so tired of feeling like the only adult in this relationship and being responsible for all chores, income, property maintenance etc etc etc.  I am tired of asking him to do the regular things in life that have to be done but never get done i.e. renew car registration, renew insurance etc etc.

My husband has lost his third job in the past few years. It's "never been his fault." In retrospect, I was blind...it was his time management and organization. I just bought his story.

I want to appologize because this is gonna be long. But I need help. First off here is a little info on me. I'm 32, male, ADHD, and I'm medicated. I was diagnosed when I was 8 and I've been on medicine every since. I try to get off of it at two different points in my life, but the results were not good. I've taken about every medicine known to man and I am currently on adderall. It seems to help me the best. I am on my second marriage. I have been with her for two years now and I love her with all of my heart.

First time poster so forgive the vent and stupid questions.

Our marriage therapist and I think my DH has ADHD. He's semi-responsive to this diagnosis and hasn't been officially tested. The sad thing is when he was all set to go to a therapist to discuss these issues, the therapist turned out to be not right for him and essentially misguided the diagnosis, told him he didnt' want help for other issues, gave him a referral where our marriage therapist said 'OMG don't go to that person". So now he's discouraged and hasn't looked into any personal therapist.

So I have made the first step in ending my marriage to my ADD husband.  NSDH has gotten more and more controlling over the past 3 weeks - he has locked down all of our liquid assets to which he now has full access to and I none, he decides what is spent and on what and when, he is still having outbursts with me and the kids and if I go out with friends I have to answer his questions: who will be there, where are you meeting at, why are you meeting those people, when will you be back, ect. like his is my parent and I have to answer to him.

I have never written anything on a forum before, but I really need to vent, and wonder if anyone else on this forum has the same experience and advice about what to do...