Recent forum posts (all topics)

I debated where to put this post but ultimately decided that it sort of stands on its own.  We are about 2.5 years into our ADD (Inattentive) diagnosis and approaching 1 year of real work on it (1 year was spent with him grieving/denying while I educated myself, 6 months really getting a handle on tools & waiting on appts and SLOOOW progress to manifest, and now I think we basically know what to do but it is difficult to do except under *ideal* circumstances).  When we are both on top of our game, we meet together regular and iron our the schedules, we each stay on top of what we need t

We've suspected ADD since October, he was diagnosed (with ADD + depression) in December, started anti-depressants in March and tried an ADD med for a few days this month (made things worse )... We tried marriage counseling but were told that it didn't make a lot of sense until he had worked through some of his "stuff" first. So we're each going in individually.

I am 24 years old and have been with the one I love for almost 2 years now.  He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that put me in a wheelchair as a child.  When he and I met things moved fast between us since we were like 2 peas in a pod.  We befriended each other quickly and within a month were dating and living together.  The first 6 months were fantastic!!

Lately I have been trying to compliment and thank my wife more often (and nag and complain less).  Both to help me focus on what I love about her and to help her know what I appreciate about her so she might feel more loved and less criticized.  I have been doing this for a couple of days now and we seem to be in a much more caring place.  My compliments and gratitude are always genuine.

Has anyone else experienced their ADD spouse having occassional sudden flare-ups of temper?  My husband is doing it again.  He calls me horrible names, tells me he hates me, etc.  I can't spend the rest of my life like this.  Then he comes out of it just as suddenly as he started.  He cries, apologizes, says he doesn't know what happens to him.  When it gets really bad he makes impulsive, sweeping decisions that often throw our life completely off coarse.

Hello everyone:

I definitely criticize and nag my ADD wife way too often.  It is something I have been working on, but I am not always successful.  In fact, I am NOT successful way too often.

Here's what I have been doing:

When my wife does something (or doesn't do something) that annoys me, and I recognize that it annoys me, I tell myself not to take it personally, because she didn't MEAN to annoy me.  And I KNOW that is true.  Sometimes that works, and sometimes I still feel annoyed.

My husband has been diagnosed with dysthymia and lymbic ADD. He's been taking Wellbutrin for about 6 weeks and it's really helped. He started taking Concerta last week and went back to how he was before the Wellbutrin or worse. He's VERY irritable, unpredictable, angry, has a short temper, etc. Has this happened to anyone else? He's stopped taking it and is going to try to get an earlier apointment with his Dr. (she had scheduled one for 3 weeks)

The situation (somewhat simplified version) is as follows.

I have heard my wife (ADD) say that she needs me (non-ADD) to say affirming things more often and criticize her less often.  I think I am criticizing her less and saying affirming things more.  I hear her saying that it is not enough, that she needs me to say affirming things even more often and criticize even less often.  

My wife and I are stuck in a vicious cycle of "the blame game."  I'll ask her a question, like "Do you know where the attachment for the vacuum is?"  She'll hear it as a criticism, as if I said "I can't find the attachment to the vacuum and it's your fault."  She will respond by yelling "I DON'T KNOW."  I'll respond by saying "Why are you yelling at me?"  And she'll say something like "I'm tired of being blamed for everything."  And I'll say "I wasn't blaming you for anything.  I was just asking you for help finding something.