Recent forum posts (all topics)

Two concepts/problems in one here:

Now he claims the reason for meeting me at the counselor’s is so the kids don’t have to feel awkward when he and I meet face to face at celebrations et cetera. Like it’s my fault.

Well, perhaps he could have sent those celebrations a thought while inflicting divorce trauma, shredding the remains of my trust two years ago. 

This is my first time posting here. I’m currently dating someone with ADHD. We’ve been together-ish for 2 years. The “ish” is because I didn’t understand the role his ADHD played in our attempted connection. He would disappear for months and I would assume it was over. But he always came back and acted like nothing had happened. I didn’t understand how he could possibly care about me and do that. But I somehow believed him and I believed in us. So here we still are. We’re finally in a more serious and a bit more consistent place.

Following my split with his dad, my elder child has been keen to talk to me about his struggles over years. The boy’s mental health has often been wobbly, needing a lot of support (from me; dad was never available) and counselling. He’s telling me now that a lot of that stemmed from confusion and low self esteem caused by his father, and a lack of a functional male role model. He was realises he was messed up by the dissonance between what is dad said to him and how his dad behaved towards him.

Hi all,

I have ADHD and am in a very dysfunctional marriage. There's the stereotype of a lazy, absent, distracted, incompetent, ADHD spouse, but I try so hard as a parent at least. As a spouse I am spent. 

How do you all keep your kids on track (as best as possible) for household tasks when your partner doesn't do anything (literally)? Am I'm not being dramatic, if i thought talking about or figuring out a good time to being it up or whatever, blah blah would work...I would not be asking this question.

I.underatand that kids don't care what you say, it's what you DO. And I'd like to try to install a bit of life skills in my kid, I think im doing a good Jo but dang if it's not pushing water up a hill bc my partner just doesn't show up. At all. In any sense. 

My ex texts he intends to ask forgiveness when we meet at the counselor in a few weeks. 

It’s sad, but I’m afraid he’s trying to  manipulate me, because he wants something from me. He’s always said things to please others, regardless of whether he means it. Sooner or later, he will scream at you that none of it was true.

Hello folks,

My ADHD girlfriend (40 y/o) of 2 and half years  (and with plans to get married) broke up with me in a whimp. She couldn't articulate reasonable argument for this impulsive act. 

My question is:

Do I have any chance to get her back?...will she?...Anything I can do to help her, to try to come back together as a couple?...

I've been reading a lot, and learning as much as I can about ADHD. 

I'm really struggling at the moment (hence the 2x different posts) but it's not so much sadness or grief or anything...it's moreso around trying to wrap my head about radical acceptance. 

If I think/believe my spouse's (ADHD, 48 yo, dx 3 years ago) behaviour and actions are unnacceptable and I don't like them and don't want to live like this, but I'm practicing radical acceptance, which means that who is right now is WHO HE IS and I need to accept it...... where does that put me? 

I've been on this forum for nearly 9 years and have separated myself from my spouse in many areas.  We live together and do some things together but I no longer depend on him, fix his mistakes, or apologize for him.  I've dealt with most of the issues others have posted about and will say that there is no fixing your spouse.  They aren't going to clean, or take out trash, or pick up the kids on time.  You must accept this if you intend to stay married.  Stop wasting years while s/he half-asses therapy, makes empty promises, and blames everything on their condition.