Recent Comments

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 1 week ago
    Boundaries are great as long as both parties adhere to them. Past discussions on budgeting and financing are to no avail in our household.  It appears that to obtain the security that I need for peace of mind that I may be forced into a legal separation that I do not necessarily want. If I tried to split the common bills in our household, husband would come up with reason why he could not pay (i.e., clients could not pay me and I NEED these books right now).  Husband's concept of budget is no budget at all...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 1 week ago
    I agree w/ Melody...This guy will only bring great sorrow...He's a user, and you typed about 100 reason's to run... Bless you! c
    >>> on Forum topic - Is that it

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 1 week ago
    It's not a good situation when your spouse is someone you can't trust...Same here...So I had to ask myself; what needs to happen to limit the sharing, where there is no trust, and huge difference's in responsibility level? The only answer I could come up with is part ways, or set boundaries....My wife and I do not share finance's, we do our taxes married filing separate...We have no access to each others accounts...Among other boundaries that just make for accountability. Boundaries really help us limit...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 1 week ago
    It appears all that an attorney wishes to do is a post nuptial agreement-- what if you do not want a divorce, just a bit of financial stability?  I can have my husband agree to something when we have a discussion, but then he does whatever he thinks is best since his business needs it in his mind--my needs are second to business. Maybe that says it all. Another attorney recommended speaking to our financial planner.  What if we make a plan and agreement but my husband does not follow through? I am in a...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 1 week ago
    Fortunately it is not dementia.  I have now had experience with 3 of our 4 parents being affected by various forms of dementia so have had more education on the subject than I should. My husband really can go from 0 to 100 in anger but is usually due to something I say or do. No conflict if I do not challenge his ideas.  Am now getting referral to another lawyer so am making appointment by tomorrow! October 8 - I have contacted 2 attorneys from the referral so hope to speak to someone soon. Does anyone...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 1 week ago
    Fortunately it is not dementia.  I have now had experience with 3 of our 4 parents being affected by various forms of dementia so have had more education on the subject than I should. My husband really can go from 0 to 100 in anger but is usually due to something I say or do. No conflict if I do not challenge his ideas.  Am now getting referral to another lawyer so am making appointment by tomorrow!
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 1 week ago
    Many people live lives of selfishness, (all about me) have no convictions not to use others, will say anything (Lie) to get what they want (money, company, sex)...Chalk it up to a painful growth opportunity, and the lesson it is, about the reality of the carnal human heart and mind.... Be thankful the young lady warned you.... c 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 1 week ago
    No matter what it is, you will need to face the reality of the circumstances...You can't be expected to walk around in your own house like a mouse on egg shells...It really sounds dangerous....Many of us may say, and truly want to work on ourselves....But the facts of out of control emotions, will always override what we want....Please take care of yourself....When a person can continue in their unhealthy life style (anger, lashing out, etc) with no real price to pay...(being left alone, etc.) they really...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: PoisonIvy - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Keep us posted. I admire your strength and determination.
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I'm so sorry. This process is neither easy nor linear. I'm just sorry we are all brought here under such circumstances 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I'm so sorry, my ex narcissistic husband tried this, but all those close to both of us had seen it play out in front of them and saw how he was spiraling. Though again with that, he was there. He gave reasons, however inconsistent, there'd been a build up.    with this one, all I can do is try and puzzle piece. The logical part of my brain tells me not to, but I can't help it. The last we spoke we made plans, he said how much he missed me, the last time we saw each other his body language and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    My heart goes out to you and what you are going through. What you wrote makes perfect sense to me. I was married for 17 years to a verbally/emotionally abusive man. He didn't have ADHD. I wrote him a letter, expressing feelings then I had bottled up for over a decade. I gave it to him, he read it, and still didn't get it. Didn't get why I was leaving. Didn't get how years of abuse had worn me down, wrecking my self-esteem and causing me to isolate from the people who could have helped me.  It felt good...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Thank you. Yes I think a letter would be a good idea. Though it might take all of my willpower not to send him a copy. But to what purpose I know. He's already decided to make me the bad guy. He must have spread the word as now all family members have blocked me to.    im so grateful for the support and understanding here. I hate that we all have a shared experience of this treatment, or various other types of abuse. I feel like after my previous abuse (marriage to a narcissist, physically abussive...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Thank you for your comments and support. I have made an appointment with a lawyer for this Thursday to discuss options. I even had a very calm discussion with my husband about what may be available to him. He was shocked at how analytical I was -- apparently he has somehow forgotten just how determined I can be when I set my mind to something. It did just "click" yesterday that he is not going to change -- he is satisfied with the way things have proceeded, he has money through the household to support his...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    OMG - Yes, That is exactly what happened in my situation.  I reached out soo many times and finally had to just walk away.  It was far from the case that anyone there would think to reject her and it hurt that she wouldn't be able to later realize that I've always been loving and supportive of her.  However, I have so much grace for her because I could never imagine feeling how she does.  I appreciate you sharing this story with me because although I'm a lot better.  I was sooo lost in soo many ways when...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: PoisonIvy - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    My husband ghosted me off and on after we had been married about 25 years. It stunk. We're now divorced. I initiated the divorce. He said he wanted to stay married and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, but that wasn't enough to motivate him to talk to me when we were in different locations.
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Your ex reminds me of a coworker years ago who was walking into a large noisy restaurant for a staff dinner. She was fine until she came inside, and the sound of people talking and laughing among themselves seemed to trigger an RSD event, and she perceived it as if they were laughing at her. She thought she heard a familiar laugh, and assumed it was a former boss who had humiliated her in the past. Sadly, she connected all of this in her mind, ending up in tears, re-living other past painful rejection...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I agree with writing a letter if you need to clear your head.  I did it also... I would also say as you work on moving on part of my therapy has been reading other people's stories and encouraging them.  No judgment just encouragement in whatever they decide to do.  I think this is a small community especially for people seeking to understand.  I feel we are all very fragile individuals at the point of find this community.  As you move forward just don't forget to reach back and encourage someone else that...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Goodness me. Sending lots of love to you. As a newbie, I've no advise. I knew my (assuming) ex had adhd and I did the reading to support the best I could. But I'm starting to learn so much more, I'm just sorry that it's shared misfortunes giving me this insight. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted by Adhd & RSD partner

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    You said that part of your anguish stems from your inability to “say your piece” to him. I wrote a letter to my ex and it made me feel a lot better, even though I never mailed it.  You could get it off your chest by “writing to him” on this forum. We all support you here. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

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