Recent Comments

  • by: 1Melody1 - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    This does not sound like a person who wants to change. He's got everything just the way he wants it. I'm not an expert but I'd also suggest there might be a lot more going on than ADHD. Buttering you up with a premeditated purchase before spending a huge chunk of cash on himself takes some foresight and it's outright manipulation, no two ways about it. My ADHD husband was more in the "clueless" category about what was going on, which is one thing... But your guy appears to be intentional about creating...
    >>> on Forum topic - Finances - And Buying a $8000 Snowmobile by Maxing Out the Credit Card

  • by: adhd32 - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    What is keeping you in this misery?  He has shown you who he is.  Believe what you see not what he says.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Finances - And Buying a $8000 Snowmobile by Maxing Out the Credit Card

  • by: angrywife - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    I am having a hard time. My husband just bought another motorcycle again...after promising he wouldn't do it again x5. I obviously have a lot of built up anger and resentment, confusion and a lot of wtf. I threatened divorce after the last lie and the one before that. I am fed up with the broken promises, lies, hiding stuff. Manipulating me. Even getting his family members involved to come see his new motorcycle so I cant come unglued with rage...or face the consequences of looking like a tyrannical psycho...
    >>> on Forum topic - Finances - And Buying a $8000 Snowmobile by Maxing Out the Credit Card

  • by: angrywife - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    Hugs. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband at end wits with wife failure to deal with her ADHD.

  • by: angrywife - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    Yep. The rollercoaster. Arguments turn into a 3 ring circus with side shows of monkeys and clowns...I seriously want to rip my hair out and scratch my face to shreds. I am dying a slow stressed out death. 
    >>> on Forum topic - The Narcissism of ADD/ADHD

  • by: angrywife - 2 months 3 weeks ago
    I feel like I am in the same relationship. I have suffered years of this to the point of having a nervous breakdown. Marriage was easier when everything got so twisted and i got conned into believing I was mentally ill and the one causing all the problems. I got put on antipsychotics for anxiety that didn't help and made me a zombie terrified to leave my home. I lost my job. It was all the crazy making gaslighting and blame shifting, defensiveness, refusal to accept accountability and responsibility, lack...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anger towards Non ADHD Spouse-Hope or Out? Gaslighting?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    I felt the exact same way in my marriage as you do. All the parenting was on me and there was no way to get him to do more. I tried everything within MY control to improve things. And I think that's the issue. It's up to them whether or not they see the problem and are willing to put in the effort to make the change. If your husband is newly diagnosed and medicated, it's fair to wait for some improvement (only if you want to, of course). I was terrified to leave for the same reasons you are. You can read...
    >>> on Forum topic - Parenting with (or for) an ADHD partner

  • by: jlandl - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    kittyharty, I am a 65 yo wife/woman/mom/gmom/retiree who struggles with ADHD and my loving husband is also afflicted but it presents a little differently for him.  We both have rejection sensitivity, which fortunately results in us being attuned to each other's needs for loyalty.  I never feel I have to check his phone and vice versa.  Why do I mention these two things to you in response to your post?  It is because just because we have the same diagnosis doesn't mean we are the same, or even compatible. ...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADHD woman + Autism man = ?

  • by: LILLEMY - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    I agree totally in your comment regarding enabling bad behaviour. It is probably the thing that I regret them most, that I have manoeuvred around his behaviour and allowed it to continue. It does not make me a good role model for my daughter and I worry that she will follow my path with her own relationships. Reading my post regularly so I don't forget will also be helpful, although I am sure my husband will continue to remind me of his ways...Thank you for your time and wisdom.
    >>> on Forum topic - A lonely life

  • by: LILLEMY - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    Thank you so much for replying to my post anf for your kid words and thoughtful advice. It means a lot that somebody took the time to listen. I have done a lot of thinking this week and I know that I need to make a change. So it will be small steps for now but with the aim of changing my life for the better long term. Reaching out on this forum was only the starting point. Onwards and upwards was the motto I used when my daughter was gripped by her Eating Disorder. Now it is time to make it work for me. 
    >>> on Forum topic - A lonely life

  • by: Dagmar - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    Whenever my husband obviously shows that he thinks some parenting requirement should be my job, I firmly say "our child has two parents."   It really drives the point home.  If he argues that you can say "so you think that not making the kid brush her teeth or go to bed at a decent hour is good parenting?"  
    >>> on Forum topic - Parenting with (or for) an ADHD partner

  • by: Lastsync - 2 months 4 weeks ago
    I'd love to participate in something like this! With both AD(H)D and AST (adult diagnosis) and having overcome gender dysphoria I think I might be able to bring some interesting angles to the table 
    >>> on Blog entry - Looking for Adults with ADHD and Their Partners for Documentary

  • by: MelissaOrlov - 3 months 6 hours ago
    I am about to contact those of you who have raised your hands.  If I have your permission to do so, I will forward your emails to the film company and they can contact you to discuss further.  The film will be about mental health issues in the lives of adults, with ADHD as one aspect.
    >>> on Blog entry - Looking for Adults with ADHD and Their Partners for Documentary

  • by: izziemotion93 - 3 months 12 hours ago
    I might be interested in your documentary. I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, and hyperacusis. They all play a role. I'm not sure yet, email me if you have the time! Thank you! 
    >>> on Blog entry - Looking for Adults with ADHD and Their Partners for Documentary

  • by: c ur self - 3 months 13 hours ago
    Some times add or not, we may have a faulty view of marriage in general.. Especially when it comes to communication....It takes knowing we are one, (Interdependent) and trusting we can be totally honest w/o defensiveness etc... ..."We are one flesh and we should be able to share all things, (plans, info. bodies, etc)...And your original post said...Defensiveness when the questions start about the facts of previous conversations....???... Think about this dynamic? We add/adhd minds MUST recognize, the...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADD wife- communicating w/ husband

  • by: Mermaidmom - 3 months 1 day ago
    Thank you for the validation of my feelings and for the suggestions. For Mother's Day, I ended up scheduling my own massage and pedicure on Saturday (my husband gave me money after I told him I scheduled this), bought my own gift and ordered and paid for Saturday night dinner to celebrate me. The kids made cards at school and our nanny had taken the kids shopping to buy a gift for me. We went for a family hike on Sunday which was my idea. I think your idea of treating Mother's Day as if my husband were my...
    >>> on Forum topic - Mother’s Day with spouse with ADHD

  • by: Unicorn44 - 3 months 1 day ago
    I would also be interested in learning more about it... thanks!
    >>> on Blog entry - Looking for Adults with ADHD and Their Partners for Documentary

  • by: BWC - 3 months 1 day ago
    My husband is the same. His bday is May 9th, mother's day is always a nothing day. (Notice the lower case denoting it's rank in his eyes.) he downplays it so much that our 5 year old doesn't understand why I should get a day to be celebrated as a mother; why I get gifts and he doesn't.  This year I approached my day as if I was divorced and simply "inviting the ex" for good show. I bought my own gift (monthly subscription so it lasts all year), my own flowers, went to church just the two of us, invited my...
    >>> on Forum topic - Mother’s Day with spouse with ADHD

  • by: Sunflowers4me - 3 months 1 day ago
    "how do you handle the hurt & broken trust that they can hurt you that many times and not acknowledge it" Before people jump all over me, let me be clear in my meaning of acceptance. People act how they act. That doesn't mean it is ok. But you can drive yourself crazy trying to understand why they treat you like they do. For me, it is an ongoing process involving grief and personal growth. But the turning point, where I started to feel like I was seeing things more clearly was when I really stopped...
    >>> on Forum topic - Husband always aggravated & angry

  • by: patlaap - 3 months 1 day ago
    Same here. Wife has add and will not get help. When she was going to a therapist, things were great. However, her therapist retired 5 years ago provided wife with recommendations, but she will not make an appointment. That therapist suggested psychiatric help, but she refused to go.  have exhausted all of my tolerance and we're now in process of divorce. I wish her well and hope she gets help. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Did your ADHD cause your divorce?

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