Recent Comments

  • by: Shaky1 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I appreciate your input and suggestions that I'm definitely going to try. I go out of my way to make things easier for him and prevent issues but it doesn't always work. In those instances, I won't get trapped in a vicious cycle. 
    >>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Shaky 1, Your personality sounds like mine.  I am accepting of others and an easygoing and a low maintenance person.  After five or six years of marriage, I was questioning my sanity and no longer recognized myself when I looked in the mirror.  When you said that your husband calls you “controlling”, that struck a chord with me.  That seems like gaslighting to me.  Perhaps if he were to suffer the consequences of his (in)actions, he would have an epiphany?  If you don’t remind him of what he is supposed...
    >>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning

  • by: Throwaway22894 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Catherine, if you're still here all these years later, how did you fix this?   I don't think i can keep doing this. My wife (undiagnosed ADD) is treating me this very same way, insisting I'm intentionally making a face at her while she's having a breakdown even though my face stays neutral, that I'm thinking she's crazy even though I'm thinking about how to help her, and she started beating me for it. I can't separate from her,she's legitimately all i have. She screams at me that I'm making her feel...
    >>> on Forum topic - His perception is inaccurate and he accuses me of feeling ways I don't

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    he needs to get treatment   
    >>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning

  • by: Will It Get Better - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Just when you think it can't get worse...  Menopause is like pouring gasoline on that campfire.
    >>> on Forum topic - Wives and Mothers with ADHD

  • by: Will It Get Better - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I advise: 1) Do not get pregnant by this man 2) Decide what you're are going to do (note 'hoping he'll change' is a 'low percentage move')
    >>> on Forum topic - My ADHD partner is too overly sexual and lies

  • by: Will It Get Better - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    When you are involved in anything else, particularly when it is an 'important thing' that requires your near-total focus, you are not paying attention to him.  You exist to serve him.  He loves that.  He does/says whatever 'in the moment' to reaffirm that he values that.  He needs to you affirm whatever he is doing because HE is doing it.  I believe the 'pit crew' analogy I have used in earlier posts is apt.  You thought you'd both be in the 'front seat' of your shared lives enjoying the shared experiences...
    >>> on Forum topic - Love, sociopathic traits, ADHD

  • by: c ur self - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Alexithymia look this up, and see if it relates to what you see with him.... My wife takes adderall daily in the early AM only. (can't get appropriate rest if she takes it after the morning) She is much more able to manage her thoughts and associated comments with co-workers over the next 10 to 12 hours are so...By the afternoon's and evenings (meds wear off) she is much more likely to spit out loud or impulsive comments that are rude, condescending or mean....And she doesn't even recognize it to some...
    >>> on Forum topic - Does anyone have experience with medication affecting empathy and other feelings?

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    How long can I row for? That's the question really and one I will strive to figure out over the next few months. Appreciate the response and kind words. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Admittedly I've spent too much time going back through your other comments on here over the years. Appreciate your type of wittiness and candor regarding something so dark and soul-crushing. Humor has always been the best medicine for me and you've given me some on this day. Thank you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: c ur self - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    You and I both know that only the individual who is struggling with addiction, or any other life sucking habit, can break it.....He must care enough to seek help for himself....As long as any of us refuse to pursue help, and stop justifying our weaknesses, (victim minds) we will always be stuck....His life will destroy yours, if you refuse to accept this...You can calmly speak truth to him, and you can pray for him...But, he must care to manage his own life, no one can do that for him..... Blessings c
    >>> on Forum topic - Partner with ADHD has left

  • by: dedelight4 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    My very ADHD husband, does this almost every day. He does not hear me most of the time, and I can rarely have a conversation with him, like I would have with anyone else. (Especially a back and forth, interactive, information give and take type talk). Our "talks", go like this......"he talks, and talks and talks, and I listen. If I want.to speak, he often cuts me off, or instantly disengages from it (which I watch him do physically) and starts doing or looking at something else", and is not paying...
    >>> on Forum topic - He Forgets Everything

  • by: SOS - Sound of ... - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Have you tried reaching out to Melissa directly for some more personalized guidance? It's worth a shot...  I know she offered some support to people after they took her seminar although I don't know the exact details.  I understand wanting to shield your children however they need you at your best and taking the brunt of this won't allow for that so I hope you have a healthy way to cope with at least some of this while navigating thru what's to come. Keeping you all in my thoughts...
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: 1Melody1 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I was in the same boat (literally). I was giving all I could in energy and understanding and compromise only to eventually realize that it would never be my turn to get anything back. Even me catching an illness was an inconvenience for him and the household would implode the moment I needed a day in bed. I was not with a person capable of being in a give-and-take relationship and accepting that fact was a long and painful process. Once I did figure it out, deciding what to do about it (with a child in the...
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Thank you. Melissa's books have been eye-opening, but it's mostly about the marriage/relationship aspect of ADHD. Not many details on how to navigate all of this with children. I wonder how many books I have to read to get more insight on that... And trying to find a therapist that really knows this stuff is like finding a needle in a haystack. I'm confident I'm going to end up spending thousands just to find someone with real experience that also matches our personalities and by that point, who knows...
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Thank you... I think I'm a good man? I try to be a good man... I just feel like a failure because all I give just doesn't seem enough and yet I get nothing in return. It's like rowing a boat that never goes anywhere. And then there's my kids... Sigh. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Reading Melissa's book certainly a trigger for me. Never in my wildest dreams that this is where I would be at in my life. My emotions have been a rollercoaster since I read it and find myself consumed by years of confusion and anger. I consider myself an intelligent person, but have never felt so stupid after understanding what's been going on with us. I'm glad you are seeing the effects from the ADHD side and trying to take control. I wish you all the best. And I'm trying to navigate through CHADD as I...
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    It is sort of like being a continuous blood donor... extended good works leave you completely drained... 'ADHD support-serf'.  Anxiety 'Death of a Thousand Disappointments'.  Every day.  Forever. Perfect (depressing) analogies.
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: nonadhdhub - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    She said she is about to start a new prescription...
    >>> on Forum topic - Flabergasted

  • by: mshoemake - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    ...none of those. Been evaluated for early onset dementia and Alzheimer's. It is very severe ADHD, which is medicated, complicated by Hashimoto's, which can result in memory issues. 
    >>> on Forum topic - He Forgets Everything

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