Recent Comments

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    From this post, you sound like a very kind-hearted person. Unfortunately, this person prioritized his personal beliefs about a vaccine higher than he prioritized his relationship with you. I think that kind of says it all... it's madness that he broke up with you because YOU made a (smart and conscientious) decision for YOUR body alone. In his words, he expected you to prioritize HIS comfort over your own. RED FLAG!!! The temper explosion is also a red flag. The mind games you describe after are also a red...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help and heal broken relationship

  • by: ESZTER - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Hi, adhdh32,    Thank you for your answer. Well, the way I see it is that even if we seemingly cannot work together (and I say seemingly because I do not usually give up on people, at least, not at the first attempt).  And also I feel there are certain things he cannot be in control of, such us emotional responses or a stressful situation. I might be wrong as I am not an expert but I also think when someone refuses things so deeply and aggressively, there might be something deeper there. (I know in this...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help and heal broken relationship

  • by: adhd32 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Find someone else who respects your decisions, you have been together only 8 months. Why do you think you can to fix this by yourself? He doesn't respect your choices for yourself and is punishing you for doing what's best for you. The expectation that you will blindly accept his decisions as your own is controlling and a huge red flag. You cannot fix this regardless of your inner strength, he is in control of himself.  He decides how he wants to be.  You cannot change him. Find someone who respects you...
    >>> on Forum topic - Help and heal broken relationship

  • by: SamBamiteko_ (not verified) - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Where you getting this info from saying that is rare for people with adhd to change just because that your relationship is not working out don't its applied to everybody.There a lot of succesful people with adhd that have nice marriages.The people who are not changing are in denial that's why marriages with adhd fail.
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: sickandtired - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    This kind of guy will never change! He is obviously projecting all of his inadequacies on you to make himself feel better. It speaks volumes that he is angry when you are seeking help and getting insight into your own mental health. He resents the fact that you’re changing, and he’s not doing the work to improve his own emotions. Blaming others is classic ADHD. You are still early in your relationship. SJC is correct that as time passes, he will only get worse. If you have children with him, his behavior...
    >>> on Forum topic - He Insists on Fixing Me

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    When someone has ADD or ADHD they are born with it.  Its not something they had a choice over. Why would my fiance have chosen to have a condition that would cause him to be treated with contempt and disdain by so many people? Diagnosed as a child, He was called a freak by his stepfather and beaten and abused throughout his childhood. He has had to endure people mocking him and rolling their eyes all of his life even by his own family his blood relatives. The difference between my fiance and others with...
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    I truly hope you divorced him. If you think its bad now after two years, what do you think 20 will look like ? He will never change. Accept it. Move on.
    >>> on Forum topic - He Insists on Fixing Me

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 3 weeks ago
    Good for him and you. Just understand that it is very rare for people with ADHD, especially adults who were undiagnosed their whole life, to change.  (NOTE from Melissa - this is a gross generalization that is simply not true.  I have asked this poster to stop making these generalized statements as they are against our posting rules.) I wish you and him luck.
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: Unicorn44 - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    Thank you for taking the time, and your thoughtful response. The note taking is really important- I've wanted to implement the bullet journal, but I haven't yet. I also agree that meditation could be beneficial, giving me a clearer mind, and greater ability to focus on the present moment. Tomorrow, I will tackle the note taking and meditation, so thank you. Side note: I think having ADD left me with some social deficits that have built up over time, that I haven't been fully aware of...I think I would...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADD wife- communicating w/ husband

  • by: 1Melody1 - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    It sounds like you're trying incredibly hard to me and also managing the ADHD very well in most areas. Could you take notes during important conversations? Maybe repeat back or paraphrase things your husband says so he understands you've heard him and taken it in? Perhaps the Strattera will help too, so it makes sense to give that some time. I don't know if you've tried meditation, but I feel it really clears my head of clutter (admittedly I am not the ADHD partner though) so I can focus just on what's in...
    >>> on Forum topic - ADD wife- communicating w/ husband

  • by: ceveland - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    C Thank you for your reply and your advice. I completely agree with your suggestions and just reached the chapter in the book where it discusses not trying harder, but trying differently. This is not something I have done before and definitely not something I am used to but something I intend to do. I love my wife deeply and need to do what is best for myself, her, and our marriage. Thank you again, reading your post helped me greatly!
    >>> on Forum topic - Loneliness, lack of patience, and little to no intimacy- ADHD Wife

  • by: c ur self - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    I went back and read your original post; I don't disagree with the pattern's of behaviors you've dealt with, and listed as facts for so many high level adhd minded people...But, everyone is different!....If any of us speak for God, (what he wants for us) we need to make sure we understand what we are speaking...This fleshly life is a vapor he tells us...Abundant and eternal life is only found, and experienced, in him, through Jesus, he tells us.... He also gives believers a few reason's that they aren't...
    >>> on Forum topic - Loneliness, lack of patience, and little to no intimacy- ADHD Wife

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    I'm happy for you and by now you should be experiencing a life without constant stress, battles over chores, spending, and time loss. Its never easy leaving someone, but you have to look out for you.
    >>> on Forum topic - Struggling with our relationship, partner has changed his mind about medication

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    Neither God nor Jesus ever said they will fix the problems of man. Only get you through them. ADHD is a man made problem, not God's. I admire the faith but it's time to get real here. Meds and therapy are the only hope, and even then its still less than a normal relationship. Life is short, and caring for an ungrateful, angry, childish ADHD spouse is a waste of the life God gave you people.  
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: SJC2021 - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    I ask you in all sincerity......how is this a life ? A marriage ? You are an adult babysitter, and your needs will never be met !  Divorce is a horrible thing. Wasting the only life God gave you babysitting someone who will never truly appreciate you is even worse.
    >>> on Forum topic - Loneliness, lack of patience, and little to no intimacy- ADHD Wife

  • by: c ur self - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    I've read your posts, and they are good news for believers...But not everyone lives by faith in the unseen...There are many responsible adults who post on this site, who have been through the pain and wars that comes from "years" of trying to live in some kind of normal way with their spouses...Only to experience what you have and worse...For years!... Keep your faith, God is not hindered by nothing but our unbelief, but not everyone believes, and not everyone wants to be witnessed to about his Mercy,...
    >>> on Forum topic - Anger & Sex/Intimacy - ADHD Husband

  • by: c ur self - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    You are an adult with a reality that you need to face and deal with, your spouse does not need to be part of that process.. I understand what you are dealing with to a large degree...Do the little things for yourself to help yourself....The worse thing you can do for anxiety is to take stimulates, worry, or be involved in conflict...Do not take, eat or drink any thing w/ stimulates...Tea, Coffee, certain meds etc....ADHD hasn't just hit you at age 45, what is happening with you and happen's with most adhd...
    >>> on Forum topic - Medicated and can't control symptoms

  • by: Will It Get Better - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    Interacting closely with an ADHDer forces you to enter a 'Fun-House Reality'.  My ex-wife has ADHD.  We would often discuss something and come to an 'agreement' as to what we were both to do on an issue.  After a few weeks my ex-wife often failed to do what she'd promised to do and sometimes did the exact opposite of what she'd promised to do if that was what she originally wanted to do in the first place.  If I brought up the fact that she'd not done as she promised she would quickly erupt into an...
    >>> on Forum topic - Love, sociopathic traits, ADHD

  • by: MATTHD - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    this is the story of my life for the last 8 years; discerning what is a lie vs. what is adhd short-term memory issues-- or both. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Love, sociopathic traits, ADHD

  • by: MATTHD - 5 months 4 weeks ago
    a therapist told me: If you're used to being scolded as a child, you get in the habit of making excuses--- whatever you can think of at the time. Eventually that becomes habit (compulsive lying). 
    >>> on Forum topic - Dealing with Lies

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