Recent Comments

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Thank you all for the support, it really really means a lot right now.  I guess I'm at the various stages of grief at the moment, i cycle between just sheer depression, anger and denial. I think it's probably resurfacing other feelings I've suppressed. So now I'm trying my best to feel like I'm worthy of real love, though maybe the lack of understanding into how people can behave in this manner to another human being shows the kindness of our hearts. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Even if he doesn't mean it and could come around, I honestly think you will do so much better without him. Unless he gets help with the ADHD (which he has to want and would have to really work at), this guy won't change. You will end up living in a mess, taking care of his kids (though I'm sure they're wonderful), possibly taking over from his mom in supporting him while he watches cricket and porn. There is no reason for him to change because he is loving his life like this. I don't mean to be blunt, but...
    >>> on Forum topic - Is that it

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    My heart goes out to you!  You can check my recent post but I asked a similar question.  I'm here to tell you that despite how you feel now each day gets a little better - you will slowly regain confidence in yourself.  The pain won't be so strong.  Just keep your head high.  Know you gave it your best and it wasn't about anything that you did wrong.  I can honestly say there are days I'm still sad or it hits me a little differently but not the way it did at first.  Allow yourself the moments to grieve and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Please don’t blame yourself. This guy probably sensed your kindness and used you. That’s what narcs do, as I am sure you know. I was married to an airline pilot who was meeting women online who were into being “sex slaves”, while he acted like a born again Christian at home with me. He tried to make it look like I was the crazy one in divorce court... until I produced his prescription for viagra, which he didn’t need as a 43 year old man. He bought it secretly online. The side effects were written right on...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Yeah, after 17 years, I got ghosted.  When confronted, there was only one reason expressed, and that was that the counselor told him to leave if he couldn't control his jealousy of my relationship with my daughter.  I put up with all those years of financial ruin, living on the edge of homelessness several times because of his financial abuses and unemployability, his hoarding, his complete and total devotion to porn, his narcissistic behaviors, and kept my word to him only to get told I should have put...
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: lostcherry - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Thank you. Just wish I could drill that message home to myself, currently this message will not hit home. Maybe it's the lack of being told anything and just erased by someone who seems alien to me. It's the lack of being able to say my piece, I know that wouldn't necessarily help- but it might make me feel better.    I got out of a marriage to a narcissist, I thought I'd seen every kind of cruel emotional abuse but apparently not! 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    He is showing you who he is. Apparently he’s a lying cheater who is cruel, cowardly, and unreliable. Congratulations! You’ve dodged a bullet by not going further along in the relationship with this loser. I feel sorry for the other girlfriend if she is still with him.... once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.  You deserve so much better than this guy who was just using you. I guess he never figured you two ladies would find out about each other. What a creep!  Sending you a hug. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Ghosted and blocked

  • by: goldenchild321 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I read your post a few weeks ago after coming out of a relationship with my adhd ex and just wanted to say thank you for sharing.  I felt everything you described even down to her being a wonderful woman.  This was one of the most confusing situations I've ever experienced to the point that for therapy I come on and read other peoples stories as I pick up the pieces and move on.  I felt so alone for so long and am grateful for this community.  I personally hope you find peace and grace within yourself as...
    >>> on Forum topic - A New Marriage Reckoning

  • by: Shaky1 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I'm so deeply sorry you're experiencing such worry and pain. I'm a zombie wreck after only a short time so cannot imagine withstanding so many years. Whatever you decide to do, remember you are not alone, have support, and can do this. This weekend it got so bad for me I fled my home and had to pull car over to calm down and call a friend to talk me off the ledge. I've never been in such darkness. Knowing this board was here, that I am not insane, that my life is still valuable helped immensely and I made...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    When I went to see a lawyer, I was shaking so much. But I got through it and got the answers I needed. It feels good to take control of your own life even though it's hard. I think you are so strong for taking this step. 
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: Neuchatel81 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    I appreciate the advice. Counselor said basically the same thing, so will be calling for an appointment today. Not what I had wished for, but I cannot allow my financial future to be compromised by his lack of attention to finances.
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Your description of being a household appliance struck me as dead on. I felt that way too in my 11 year relationship with an ADHD man. I felt like I was losing myself trying to please him, but he was always angry and blamed me for his constant stream of problems. Just like an appliance, my needs were not important. You don’t need to love your toaster or stove, you just want what it can do for you. Who cares if you insult your ugly refrigerator, as long as it keeps the food cold. That was his attitude about...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: 1Melody1 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
     If I could walk away and take my name off the house and Equity Line, then I would do so. When I was seeing a therapist, she suggested I speak with a divorce lawyer about my legal concerns over leaving. I took her advice and was glad I did because I got concrete answers to my "what if" questions.  Perhaps you can see a lawyer ASAP to see what recourse you might have in getting your name off those accounts before the situation gets worse (E.G. if you separated today, would that mean you are not...
    >>> on Forum topic - What to do?!?!?

  • by: AdeleS6845 - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    .... Was rude and uncalled for. She is merely stating what she has observed in her own relationship. She has tried everything she can think of to make her relationship work and it's not working. At this point she is beating her head against the wall and getting nowhere. They can behave and be almost neurotypical when they want to be. When she said this she was merely pointing out that there are times when his behavior indicates that he is able to control some of his ADHD symptoms.  I'm not going to put...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: sickandtired - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    You don’t have the right to minimize any person’s pain when they are seeking support in an obviously difficult relationship. My adhd ex used to do this to me all of the time... minimizing my feelings, and shaming me for being honest. Nobody deserves this kind of verbal abuse.  Sambam, you need to stop and think about other people’s feelings before you post. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 1 month 55 min ago
    are you serious right now you can leave right now with that abliest reponse adhd can choose to be neurotypical if they want to (edited)
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    yes people with adhd can change with specifc treatment and adhd doesnt prevent or ruin a marriage connectiction.
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: SamBamiteko_ - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    yes people with adhd can change with specifc treatment and adhd doesnt prevent or ruin a marriage connectiction.
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    And it's not worth the fight.  None of this shit is optional.  They can behave and be almost neurotypical when they want to be.  Accept that they don't want to bother anymore by accepting the excuse of the day, whatever their ADHD or ADD brought them (tired, can't focus, hyper focus, RSD, whatever), it brought you too.  Accept that it looks selfish and sociopathic and narcissistic at times, and they expect you to accept that without comment too.  Accept that it is what it is.  One choice, take it or leave...
    >>> on Forum topic - Distracted and taking it personally

  • by: Mizeeyore - 3 months 2 weeks ago
    Believe him.  When someone tells you who they are, that's your only choice. 
    >>> on Forum topic - New diagnosis and he wants to leave

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