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I haven't been on here much but I'm just seeing if anyone might be in a similar boat. I figured out my husband had ADHD and he was diagnosed almost a year ago. He was put on Vyvanse which helped him a lot. He can stay awake and alert and control his focus better now. But it didn't fix everything. The work I kept trying to put into our communication wasn't making a dent. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn't understanding a bit of my feelings or how to listen or able to meet my emotional needs.

This is my first post here.

My wife was diagnosed with ADHD less than a year ago. At first I wasn't too convinced. Over the years it has been different things, depression, PTSD, BPD, etc... When we married 10 years ago I only knew a little bit about this. She briefly described some of her previous problems, but I was lost in the daze of love and didn't dive deeper. After reading the ADHD Effect, and other books on ADHD, I am sure this is it.

Okay friends--advice/suggestions/support/help needed.  This weekend DH wants to go apple picking in Wisconsin, which is only an hour away from us.  We used to go when the boys were little, they are now 15 and 17.  I get car sick which no one enjoys.  DH has only two modes--super jokey and sarcastic or sullen.  It costs $20 for each of us and he told the 17 YO he could bring his girlfriend, who I adore, but that's another $20 AND he told everyone we could also stop at the outlets.

My H is on wellbutrin. I am curious if it is possible that the med lessens his anxiety with the adhd.......and therefore causes him to think he is improving in adhd issues? He is noticeably less anxious and irritable BUT I believe he needs to take advantage of this "help" and address "effects" of the adhd on himself and others. I say NOTHING about what he needs to do as he has NOT fully accepted that (adhd) is a big deal in our marriage (this messenger has been shot once and for all).

3 years ago my husband was on Adderall for adhd. He was was have outbursts of anger. He told his Dr and he was put on meds for anger. We eventually split up over it. The day after we split up he got charged with a criminal case due to his anger. After the Dr found out he was in trouble he dropped him. My question is, has anyone had a situation like this? 

Thank you. I am so thankful. I love my husband of 3 years deeply, passionately. He is a good man (at times) and a good husband (at times). If I need something done, I point him in the direction and it gets done. He is generous. He is kind. He is thoughtful (at times). 

It has become very obvious to me that my ADD spouse is always working or doing something else rather than be with me. Promises to do things together are often broken or delayed until it is too late. Careful scheduling, early planning and much discussion usually proves to be wasted efforts. Underlying passive agressive behavior exists as well. Trying to live with a spouse who is like this is often very disappointing. Marriage counseling has helped with awareness but scheduling convenient appointments, travel time (often 2 hours) and expense hamper progress.

I've been going through papers from my basement and discovered a document showing that my ex-H was notified in 2008 that he would be "removed" from his job (i.e., fired) because he had just had the third of what ended up being four vehicle incidents overall during his time with this employer. He didn't tell me about the incidents and he wasn't fired in 2008; that didn't happen until approximately nine months later, when he had the fourth incident. My ex prides himself on his driving, but he has had at least seven accidents that I'm aware of, and a few speeding tickets as well.

Husband with ADHD plus anxiety and depression. Very Jekyll/Hyde. This is textbook ADHD -- he can't hold a job, bill payment and child care schedules are nonexistent, and he doesn't honour agreements. His cheques to me have bounced, and he is neglectful. He yells or raises his voice at me and our child, and treats me rudely. I've become a nag in response, which is not who I am, and I don't like it at all. He has a very kind 'core' and is known by others as a 'nice' guy. But he has no patience, is very triggered by his family of origin, and responds to me reactively as if I'm his mother or his sister, criticizing him. He loses jobs constantly, and has drained my significant retirement savings to almost nothing, and we've gone from earning over 100k to living under the poverty line. I have become an emotional wreck due to his ups and downs of mood, but feel trapped as I have no money to leave, and I'm afraid of his dysfunctional family, who have ostracized me and blamed me for DH's mental health issues, with which he was diagnosed years before he met me. At some level, I'm hoping for a miracle as I love him. But he'll never change, and I know this.