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"Why" for me seems to mean everything for me. It almost seems as if...it is the foundation from which I know anything: what to do, why to do it, how to do it, and when to do it and where to do it. It's almost as if.... If I can't can't understand why...then it seems I can't understand anything? It just seems that way to me but I also know that's not always true...as I'm saying it. Getting past the why for me at times....seems to be the biggest challenge I have to getting past most of the obstacles I've faced in dealing with this "why" issue I have. Why, why, why!!!! I need to know why!!!

What was my role?  

I played the emotional patsy, the lonely child, the reproaching parent (to him), the desperate powerless woman. He played the naughty, willful child, the playboy, the salesman, the clown, the Devil May Care imp, light relief, the rebel, the entitled man.

I cried, I shouted, I tried for meaningful conversations. He left the room. He verbally attacked. He was mute holding court of his entitlement he gave himself because he WON the battles.  I was like a tiny country crying, "No Fair", he brushed my needs aside and laughed.

This is an update to my thread from 18 months ago, found here. https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/apathy-setting

Hello, I am a male, 26 years old non ADHD . Currently i'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend . She is 26 years old with ADHD . I will tell the story about my GF first . She has lived alone for 7 years because her parents works overseas and never come back in the past few years . She doesn't have many friends . Her only close friend is a girl, 30 years old with ADHD too, currently not married and never been in a relationship with anybody . We have been in relationship for almost 7 months .

So my family is going through a crisis. Long story very very short, my daughter was sexually taken advantage of, and now, she thinks she may be pregnant from that encounter. Shes a great kid, and is going through a very scary, very upsetting time right now.

 

My husband is being a complete jerk, as usual. His feelings are the most important things in the world right now, and while i understand that stress makes everyone on edge, he is actively antagonizing me. Apparently i dont have enough on my plate!

 

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I found this site because I was creeping on my ADHD husband.  More specifically, I was searching (and frantically I might add) variations on a screen name that I found earlier that day connected to email accounts, connected to dating/porn/sex sites.  This is one of the sites that popped up, and by the way, as if I needed to feel anymore like Alice going down the rabbit hole, I saw that his ex-wife had posted and directed my husband to this site while they were married!  

In my attempt to recognize (be aware) the warning signs, triggers, and common themes that surround conflict in my marriage, a few things are startling clear....Probably 85 or 90% of our worst conflict revolves around activities, 75% of these or outside the home (acceptance, and avoiding enabling has really helped on the day to day things in the home)...What I've come to realize is in many (if not most) peoples mind, they experience a loss of awareness when emotions are heightened or when they experience a peak in focus or desire for or in an activity, (and were talking most anything)....The

Hi, this is my first time posting but I'm in a real mess everything has escalated for so long we just can't seem to get good ground my wife's anger outbursts doesn't help anything she's had one several times in the last couple of weeks. My stepson father just committed suicide they both have ADHD. I love my wife I love my step-son I don't want to lose this marriage I just don't know what to do.

Ambigamy.  Noun. A relationship that defies classification. Can be short term or may last years.

I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly
I'm crying