Recent forum posts (all topics)

I've come to a realization that is plaguing me to the point of distraction. I have accepted it...but I have yet to move on from it that appears to be at the source of something I have yet to come to any understanding of. It really is about anger and denial and it is part of the inability on my wife's part to speak to me openly about this which is why I have come here and stayed here looking for something that will allow me to put this mystery to rest and just move on from it.  

After another heated discussion from lack of communication, now I;m out. Over 1 month. My step sons Dad committed suicide and he needs me to be there. I'm so confused as to whey she would do this. Everything is disrupted and spiraling out of control. My wife stopped working "to be with her son" which I agree, that means her mom is supporting her. My mother in law is awesome but they are all in shock from the suicide. Last week, she finally answered my text and said to call her and speak to my step son and tell him that I love him and miss him, he said, Doug, "where are you'???

I read the PDF about how diet can affect ADHD, and WOW does it ever make sense.   /files/Food%20for%20Thought%20Nutrition%20and%20ADHD%20050710.pdf   Good stuff this!  And it certainly confirms my thoughts about what sugar and carbohydrates do to the brain... cant argue the science...

 

I know I am asking alot of questions, I guess doing a post mortem on my own life and relationship has led me to wonder what others have gone through, and how they managed and dealt with things. 

 

I found this quite by accident and think it is rather interesting. I am sure there will be plenty of agreement /disagreement but that is what dialogue includes.......and I am putting this out there with this thought......marriage is a learning experience like alot of things are. Pre-concieved ideas come from society, family and personally....for whatever reason. In the most intimate of relationships...marriage.....is it any wonder how the challenges of ADHD cause so much havoc for both parties?

*EDIT*// - I want to start off here and state that I KNOW that there are successful marriages with ADHD partners, I know that they are happy and fullfilled because they have done the work, and DO the work.  We just dont see them there, so I wanted to make it clear that I DO - I absolutely DO believe that it is possible.  But only if both partners do the work (you know, like "normal" people have to do anyway!) //*Edit*

 

Let me just say I am a small petty person.  I know this.  Twenty one years of marriage to an ADHD DH really does a number on your sanity, as so many of us know.  So these are the things on my mind that make me want to blow a gasket.  First--on July 4, our 17 YO son traded his late shift lifeguarding at the beach for an earlier shift so he could hang out with us and his girlfriend for the fireworks--totally fine.  But...he offered to pay whoever took his shift $60 extra since it was a holiday (that's more than the shift itself pays, but what do I know...).

I'm desperate to change the communication style of my marriage before it all falls apart. Whoever can read and respond, I'd really appreciate it. I'm the ADHD partner in an 8-year marriage. I have my own things to work on and fix, lots of them. But I worry that none of this will involve participation from my wife, given how little she seems to want to control, discuss, or be asked about her feelings and actions. The message is just: "you make it better right now or it's over."

Greetings all; I have lurked on this forum for quite a while reading other members posts/responses and infomation. What speared me into making an account and posting was just another run of the mill 'common' issue most everyone here faces. I come home from work and find the door to the house open and all the trash piled up next to the door (but ripped open and thrown all over the house because of the dog) because she did not remember to take it out, yet had to step over it to leave I guess...

So - one of the things I am seeing is those with ADHD/ADD do tend to live in the moment, hard core in the present - never mind future or past, just right here right now. I do think this can be a great thing, its good for getting past hardship, moving past an argument, a great coping mechanism in a lot of ways. But where the problem comes in, is that not only (in *my* experience) does that ADHD person live in the present, they live in their "feelings" that are "right now" as well. This is a VERY dangerous thing to do, and its very destabilizing of any relationship you can ever build.