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I shall take a day to step out of the 'Wife" box and tell you about a man with ADHD and what kind of Dad he is, what he did, and what he did not do

My husband (adhd) has withheld loving, gentle, and affectionate demonstrations of emotions because he says he has a very IQ, and he isn't into "those" emotions. So, having a high IQ means you can't show someone how much you love them? That Doesn't make sense. I believe he has CHOSEN to do this.

edit change:  I took the test again...one more time as a double blind control.  It came up ENTP instead of ENFP.  I think this is a better fit all things considered.

INFP in a Nutshell (The Healer )

INFPs are imaginative idealists, guided by their own core values and beliefs. To a Healer, possibilities are paramount; the realism of the moment is only of passing concern. They see potential for a better future, and pursue truth and meaning with their own individual flair.

"Two possibilities exist. Either we are alone in the universe or we are not, both are equally terrifying."  Arthur C. Clarke

https://youtu.be/EMLPJqeW78Q Link:The Smallest to the Biggest thing in the Universe! (HD) how Big is the Universe

Where to begin?

I love my wife. 

We have been married for 12 years and I feel like most of that time I have been trying to solve problems or complete tasks for her. It is never ending. In the early years I chalked this up to a picky wife with high standards or maybe just a woman's preference thing. None of this changed the way I felt about her.  I could write a book with all of the incomplete gigantic problems/projects/tasks I have tackled in the hopes that she would be satisfied. You see, she was only diagnosed recently.

Hello, We've been married for 40 years and it's been hell relieved by me making my own happy times. I have three children with him.

On the plus side he works hard and has always supported the family and home.

On the negative side he panics in ordinary but new situations, like a self service checkout, makes rash decisions and causes chaos which he blames on the machine, same when traveling.

I have been just thinking about relationships a lot over the past several year.  

My own parents have been married since 1957.  She was 21 and he was 25 when they married.  My Dad was an active alcoholic till 1991.  Alcoholism was the atmosphere in which I lived till I was 20 and moved into my own apartment.  (I believe he is ADHD -  will never know, he is 84)

Today my husband and I got in a huge fight! I unloaded the dishwasher, and he asked me when I ran the dishwasher. I have no idea when I ran it!!!! He accused me of "playing dumb" and then he proceeded to throw out tons of clean dishes into the sink. He wanted me to tell the truth, but my truth is that I have no memory of running he dishwasher. He keeps saying, "we both know that you know when you ran the dishwasher." I'm not going to tolerate these lies. He says that I like to lie for fun, and I can't be trusted. I try really hard to tell the truth.

This is a vent. It's not here to teach anyone anything or to be informative. I'm not writing this to help anyone other than for those to hear my thoughts and why I am angry. I'm going to speak the only way I know how....and that is from the heart. In those terms....I'm not going to explain myself to anyone or apologize for the way I feel. I'm going to use terms I'm familiar with to speak how I feel about this seemingly never ending and all the unresolved issues that spring from it.....

This will be really detailed story, but I think all of it is relevant.

I need help, cause I've never been so confused about a guy and what to do... :(